Buffy Summers quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Giles

Quite. And it, uh, acts on-on pure instinct. No conscience, uh, uh, predatory and-and aggressive.

Buffy

In other words, your typical male.

Xander

On behalf of my gender, hey!

Giles

Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions.

Buffy

I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.

Xander

I wish dating was like slaying. You know, simple, direct, stake to the heart, no muss, no fuss.

Buffy

Sorry to say, Xand, slaying is a tad more perilous than dating.

Xander

Well, you're obviously not dating Cordelia.

Xander

Buff, for the love of God, don't open that raincoat.

Buffy

Come on! It's a party! Aren't you gonna open your present?

Xander

It's not that I don't want to. Sometimes the remote impossible possibility that you might like me was all that sustained me. But not now. Not like this. This isn't real to you, you're only here because of a spell. I mean, if I thought you had one clue what it would mean to me, but you don't, so I can't.

Buffy

[angered] So you're saying this is all a game?

Xander

A game? I... No!

Buffy

You make me feel this way, and then you reject me? What am I, a toy?

Xander

Buffy, please calm down.

Buffy

I'll calm down when you explain yourself!

Amy

Get away from him. He's mine.

Buffy

Oh, I don't think so. Xander, tell her.

Xander

What? I, uh...

Amy

He doesn't have to say. I know what his heart wants.

Buffy

Funny, I know what your face wants. [Buffy punches Amy hard in the face] What is this, you're two-timing me?

Amy

Goddess Hecate, work thy will...

Xander

Uh-oh.

Amy

... Before thee let the unclean thing crawl!

Buffy

It's so weird. Every time something like this happens, my first instinct is still to run to Angel. I can't believe it's the same person. He's completely different from the guy that I knew.

Willow

Well, sort of, except ...

Buffy

Except what?

Willow

You're still the only thing he thinks about.

Xander

I'm sorry, but let's not forget that I hated Angel long before you guys jumped on the bandwagon. So I think I deserve a little something for not saying "I told you so" long before now. And if Giles wants to go after the ... fiend that murdered his girlfriend, I say, "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!"

Buffy

Yeah. There's just one problem with Giles in a revenge scenario. It'll get him killed.

Buffy

Hey. Here we are. It's all of we. Are we taking me home?

No. Buffy, you need to lie down, honey.

Buffy

Yeah? Lie at home. My bed is better than any bed that's... not my bed.

She's still a little out of it.

Buffy

Shhh! Hospital zone. No singing.

Buffy

Homework.

Willow

It's my way of saying get well soon.

Buffy

You know, chocolate says that even better.

Willow

I did all your assignments. All you have to do is sign your name.

Buffy

Chocolate means nothing to me.

Willow

I'm good at medical stuff, since Xander and I used to play doctor all the time.

Xander

No, she's being literal. She used to have all these medical volumes, and diagnosed me with stuff. I didn't have the heart to tell her she was playing it wrong.

Willow

Wrong? Why? How did you play doctor?

Buffy

I... never have.

Xander

You don't know how to kill this thing.

Buffy

I thought I might try violence.

Xander

Solid call.

Buffy

Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend, the vampire? I slept with him, he lost his soul, now my boyfriend's gone forever, and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision I make will involve my choice of dentures.

Willow

Okay, the Angel thing went badly, I'm on board with that, but that's not your fault. And anyways, love isn't always like that. Love can be... nice!

Giles

[about the ghost of James] He's-he's trying to... resolve whatever issues are keeping him in limbo. What exactly those are, I'm not...

Buffy

He wants forgiveness.

Giles

Yes. I imagine he does. But when James possesses people, they act out exactly what happened that night. So he's experiencing a form of purgatory instead. I mean, he's doomed to kill his Ms. Newman over and over and over again, and... Forgiveness is impossible.

Buffy

Good. He doesn't deserve it.

Giles

To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's not done because people deserve it, it's done because they need it.

Buffy

No. James destroyed the one person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion. And that's not something you forgive. No matter why he did what he did. And no matter if he knows now that it was wrong and selfish and stupid, it is just something he's gonna have to live with.

Xander

He can't live with it, Buff. He's dead.

Buffy

Tell me what's in the steam!

After the fall of the Soviet Union, documents came into light detailing experiments with fish DNA in their Olympic swimmers. Tarpon, mako shark... But they couldn't crack it.

Buffy

And you did... sort of. Why?

What kind of question is that? For the win! To make my team the best they could be! Do you understand we have a shot at the State Championship?

Buffy

Do you understand that I don't care? It's over. There's not gonna be any Swim Team.

Boy, when they were handing out school spirit, you didn't even stand in line, did you?

Buffy

No. I was in the line for shred of sanity. (Coach Marin pulls out a gun, aiming at her) Which you obviously skipped.

Buffy

So, something ripped him open and ate out his insides?

Willow

Like an Oreo cookie, well, except for, you know, without the... chocolatey cookie goodness.

Willow

So we're looking for a beastie.

Giles

That, uh, eats humans whole, except for the skin.

Buffy

This doesn't make any sense.

Xander

Yeah, the skin's the best part.

Buffy

Any demons with high cholesterol? [Giles looks at her] You're gonna think about that later, mister, and you're gonna laugh!

Buffy

I wouldn't break out the tartar sauce just yet. It's not like you were exposed more than once. Twice?

Xander

Three times a Fish Guy.

Oh.

Cordelia

Whoa!

Xander

What am I gonna do?

Cordelia

You, you, you! What about me?! It's one thing to be dating the lame unpopular guy, but it's another to be dating the Creature from the Blue Lagoon.

Xander

Black Lagoon! The Creature from the Blue Lagoon was Brooke Shields. And thank you so much for your support!

Buffy

I think we'd better find the rest of the swim team and lock them up before they get in touch with their inner halibut.

Xander

Let's see, I got to take a makeup chem test at 3:00. And then I'm meeting some of the guys for plasma transfusions at 5:00. It's turned into quite the busy afternoon.

Buffy

The fun never stops with you, does it?

Willow

Giles seems pretty confident that the treatments are gonna work.

Xander

Well, turning into a creepy-crawly wasn't on my top ten list of thing to do before I turn 20.

Cordelia

I want you to know that you've really proven yourself to me. And you don't have to join the new team next year if you don't want. I'd be just as happy if you played football.

Giles

The-the people from animal control have just left. Our creatures have apperently made a-a dash for it. Um, so to speak.

Willow

Does that mean we're gonna have to hunt them again?

Buffy

No, I don't think so. I don't think we'll be seeing them anymore.

Giles

Where do you think they'll go?

Buffy

Home.