I wish dating was like slaying. You know, simple, direct, stake to the heart, no muss, no fuss.
Sorry to say, Xand, slaying is a tad more perilous than dating.
Well, you're obviously not dating Cordelia.
“Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered” · Season 2, Episode 16
In this episode: Xander Harris (3), Buffy Summers (2), Willow Rosenberg (1), Spike (1), Cordelia Chase (1), Drusilla (1), Angelus (1), Harmony Kendall (1)
Dear Buffy. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards.
Why don't you rip her lungs out? It might make an impression.
Lacks... poetry.
It doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?
Don't worry, Spike. Angel always knows...what speaks to a girl's heart.
Don't be so jumpy... I've been in your bed before.
Yeah, but Will, we were both in footy pajamas.
Buff, for the love of God, don't open that raincoat.
Come on! It's a party! Aren't you gonna open your present?
It's not that I don't want to. Sometimes the remote impossible possibility that you might like me was all that sustained me. But not now. Not like this. This isn't real to you, you're only here because of a spell. I mean, if I thought you had one clue what it would mean to me, but you don't, so I can't.
[angered] So you're saying this is all a game?
A game? I... No!
You make me feel this way, and then you reject me? What am I, a toy?
Buffy, please calm down.
I'll calm down when you explain yourself!
Get away from him. He's mine.
Oh, I don't think so. Xander, tell her.
What? I, uh...
He doesn't have to say. I know what his heart wants.
Funny, I know what your face wants. [Buffy punches Amy hard in the face] What is this, you're two-timing me?
Goddess Hecate, work thy will...
Uh-oh.
... Before thee let the unclean thing crawl!
Harmony, shut up. [Xander looks back] Do you know what you are, Harmony? You're a sheep.
I'm not a sheep.
You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler than you are 'cause I'm not a sheep. I do what I wanna do, and I wear what I wanna wear. And you know what? [Xander smiles] I'll date whoever the hell I wanna date. No matter how lame he is. [Xander stops smiling]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.