[to Coach Buzzcut] Once we tried to "found" Beavis's father, but we never did because his mom's a slut.
This episode aired after Beavis and Butt-head Do America was released, in which, unbeknownst to Beavis or Butt-head, the duo meet their fathers.
S7 E37Our Founding Losers
S7 E38Leave It To Beavis
BBeaver
[who is on TV] Gee Wally, dad said not to. And besides, I don't want him to holler at me.
Uhuhuhuh...beaver.
Yeah yeah, Beaver kicks ass. But it's like, um, that'd not really what stuff was like back then.
Yeah. It's like, if this was real, and it was like the 50's, things would be all different and stuff.
TTodd
So, Beaver...
The name's Beavis, sir.
TTodd
Well excuse me, Beaver.
SMrs. Steveson
Now dear, don't you think you should go to work today?
Uh, no. [rubs her arm]
TTodd
Now get in there and get me some smokes.
Are you sure I should be doing this?
TTodd
What did you say?
I said are you-
[Todd revs the car so the rest of the words aren't heard]
TTodd
Listen squirt, you better get in there and get me some smokes before today's lesson turns into Ass-kicking 101.
SOStore Owner
Well hey there Master Cleaver, aren't you supposed to be in school?
Well, I guess so, b-but all I know is I'm sposed to come in here and buy some cigarettes.
SOStore Owner
Hey, you wouldn't be buying these for Eddy now would ya?
...Gee, how'd you know?
[Store Owner looks out window and sees Todd smoking. Canned laughter.]
SOStore Owner
Tell Eddy it's against the law for me to sell cigarettes to a boy your age. And then, tell him cigarettes cause cancer.
Y-yeah but, if I tell him that, he might get all sore 'n stuff. A-and then he's liable to beat me up.
SOStore Owner
Well, if he tries that, you tell him that's against the law too.
Woah. What happened, uh, son?
TTodd
It seems that little Beaver here ran afoul of some asphalt.
Uh huh huh....asphalt.
SMrs. Stevenson
Aren't you being a little hard on the Beavis?
Huh huh huh, hard. Huhuhuhuh, on.
S7 E39Butt Flambe
GGuy
We got a crispy critter!
[Beavis whimpering]
[chuckling] "Crispy critter."
[horrified and panicking] I'll never poop again!!
S7 E40Beavis and Butt-head Are Dead
Um, hey, Butt-head, I think the phone is ringing.
Yeah, well make it stop.
Beavis goes to the phone and answers it.
Um...who are you?
MSMcVicker's secretary
This is Highland High calling. We're trying to figure out why Beavis and Butt-head haven't been in school for the past three weeks.
Oh. Um...yeah, they're dead.
Students, can I have your attention? There's been a terrible tragedy...and I wanted you to hear it from me first-
(over PA) Listen up! Beavis and Butt-head are dead! There will be an emergency meeting in the teachers' conference room in five minutes, followed by a brief party. WHOO! YEAH!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.