Beavis and Butt-Head Season 4 quotes

Hahahaha! Rod Munch, huh? HAHAHAHA!

Now, listen up people. I am not an unreasonable man, but I say that there's nothing wrong with you little monsters that can't be cured by a quick return to the days of CORPOREAL PUNISHMENT!

Now, here to talk about your feelings is your new school psychiatrist, Dr. Floss.

How about your parents? Your mother, for example. How do you feel about your mother?

Beavis

Um, like this...(gesturing the shape of his mother's body) Yeah. Heh-heh. Kinda like this...(continuing to gesture).

Butt-head

That's not how I feel your mother.

Beavis

Shut up, fartknocker!

Beavis

I got the last grape! [takes the last grape sucker]

Butt-head

No way, Beavis! I saw it first!

Beavis

[Spits on the sucker] My germs!

Butt-head

[slaps Beavis, causing him to scream] No way! [gets kicked in the groin, followed by the head] Uuh! [gets tackled by Beavis] Aah!

Beavis

[continues screaming] Butthole!

Beavis

[while they're on the couch, in a somewhat suggestive position] No way! Come on, Butt-head! I always get the grape!

Butt-head

It's not gonna taste like grape, when it's up your butt!

[holds up a picture--merely a random pattern] What do you see in this picture?

Butt-head

It's this dude, and he's like "auditioning his finger puppets". Huh huh.

Beavis

Yeah. Yeah. He's "shining his helmet".

I see. And what do you see here? [holds up another picture of random shapes]

Butt-head

Whoa... He's really corralling the tadpole.

Beavis

Yeah. Yeah. He's really peelin some chilis.

I see. What about this one? [holds up another picture of no particular shape]

Butt-head

Woah... Leave a little for next time, dude!

Beavis

Yeah. Yeah. He's really, like, having a tug-of-war with Cyclops!

I see.

Butt-head

[takes the picture and looks at it] Paper or plastic, sir?

Butt-head

Huhuh...he's masturbating.

And how about this last drawing? [shows a picture of a Julio Iglesias-like singer holding his microphone pole between his legs in a suggestive manner]

Butt-head

Uhh...that's, like, just a bunch of weird shapes.

Fascinating. [calls for Principal McVicker via intercom] Principal McVicker, could you come in here? We've got big problems.

You were supposed to be spotting me! Stickboy!

Butt-Head

Uh... There you are. Uhuhuh

Beavis

Yeah yeah, heh heh, I spotted you right over there.

[lifts them up by the neck and growls]

Beavis

[while choking] Heh heh hey, don't make me kick your ass.

...Exercise sucks.

Beavis

Hehe, hey, Butt-head. Come here. Check it out, Butt-head. Spandex. [Beavis finds out he was checking out a man] AAH!

Butt-head

You were checking out a dude's butt.

Beavis

Shut up, Butt-head! You were checking him out, too.

Butt-head

No, I wasn't. I knew it was a guy. I was just gonna, like, wait and say something later.

Butt-head

Huhuh, I can like, hear her butt!

Butt-head

Let's not use our real names.

Beavis

Yea

Butt-head

[on the phone] I'm Beavis and he's Butt-head.

Buzzcut

Butthead, do you have an explanation for your inexplicable behavior?!

Uhh...I was dead? Uh huh huh.

Beavis

Heh heh. Yeah. He was dead. Heh heh.

Buzzcut

Butt-head, do you have an explanation for your inexplicable behavior?!

Butt-head

Uhh…I was dead?  Uh huh huh.

Beavis

Heh heh.  Yeah.  He was dead.  Heh heh.

Buzzcut

Do you or do you not have a reason for placing my life and my accreditation at risk?!

Butt-head

Uhh…I can't swim.  Uh huh huh.

Beavis

Yeah.  Heh heh.  Me too.

Buzzcut

And what about your patent disregard for Beavis!  Do you not care a rat's ass for the safety of your closest companion!?

Butt-head

Uhh…no.

We now return to Robert Yearing, Mellissa Gilbert, and Lou Ferigno in "Asbestos in Obstetrics."

Hey, Butt-head! What is Astesbos?

Butt-head

Uhh... It's like, health food or something.

Butt-head

Are they having another one of those Midnight Madness sales?

Beavis

Yeah. Yeah. WE'RE SLASHING PRICES! EVERYTHING MUST GO!