We need to find a place to watch tv.
(Two men come out of a broken store window with a tv)
Hey they got one.
(Yelling to the men offscreen) YO, WAIT UP DUDE!
Cop (offscreen) FREEZE POLICE!
(Gunshot)
Uhh.. never mind.
S4 E11Blackout!
VDMr. Van Dreson
(Directing traffic) I need to go help out down at the community center, but I can't leave my post until someone releaves me.
Uhh... just go behind a building, no one will see.
Mr. Stevenson, is that you?
SMr. Steveson
Beavis, Butt-head, thank god! What happened? Tell me what happened?
Our TV broke.
Can we watch it at your house?
[Mr. Stevenson groans]
COCop on a van loundspeaker
Attention citizens there has been a small failure in a turbine at the electric plant. Power will be restored shortly. Cititzens are advies to store fresh water and canned goods. Ur uh, you should have already done that, well I hope you did.
[directing traffic] That's right, everyone. If we all work together and respect one another's space, we'll get through this crisis with a newfound sense of community.
TDTruck Driver
Get out of the street, you longhaired panty-waist!
I need to go coordinate the emergency shelter at the Y, but I can't move my post until I'm relieved.
Uhh…just go behind a building, dude. No one will see.
S4 E12Late Night With Butt-head
Now, I'm going to close my eyes, and I want you to wow me.
Uh...Is that allowed on school property?
(as David Letterman) So we're going to go over our Top 10 List from our home office in Butt, Montana. (bounces pencil on table which goes flying right through Beavis (Paul Shaffer)'s glasses)
AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
WHOA! That was cool!
We're gonna kick Letterman's butt.
S4 E13The Final Judgement of Beavis
So like, in heaven, will all the chicks do anything I want?
SPSt. Peter
No.
That sucks. Do I get X-Ray Vision? Can I get some nachos?
SPSt. Peter
No.
Are you sure this is heaven?
What do you know, asswipe?
SPSt. Peter
I know everything, buttmunch.
Beavis is not dog food. He's worm food.
S4 E14Pool Toys
You know, when a man builds a new swimming pool, there's some things he just can't do by himself.
Beavis does things by himself.
(Cleaning his glasses, unable to notice that his two workers are Beavis and Butt-Head wearing neard glasses) Well I can see you boys ain't like the usual hooligans running around here. Like these two fellows, uh, Buff-Coat and Beaver. Boy they've been nothing but trouble.
S4 E15Madame Blavatsky (Beavis and Butt-Head see a sign sponsoring fortune-telling) (Arabian music plays for two seconds) Beavis: Woah, hey check that out! Butt-Head: (pronouncing fortune teller) Fuh..fuh fart..Fuuh..forr..tuu Fortune, huh, huh, Fortune Teller. Beavis: Yeah, heh, heh, heh, let's go tell her our fortune. Heh, heh, heh. Butt-Head: No dumbass. She tells your fourtune. Beavis: Oh, heh, heh, heh, hey Butt-Head, what's that mean? Butt-Head: You know, your future. Beavis: Heh, heh, heh, what's that mean? Butt-Head: I don't know. Huh, huh, huh. Madame Blavasky: (on the phone) YOU BETTER NOT COME AROUND HERE AGAIN LESTER, OR I'M CALLING THE COPS!!! (Beavis and Butt-Head walk inside) Wait, I got some customers. Madame Blavasky: I see... a mansion... with many faithful servants.... a yacht... Beavis: I don't see any of that crap. (Beavis and Butt-Head are walking) (Beavis is wearing a Professor Quirrel-like headdress) Butt-Head: I didn't know you were psychic Beavis. Beavis: Yeah, remember what those doctors said on those tests? Butt-Head: No Beavis, they said you were psycho.
Woah, hey check that out!
[pronouncing "fortune teller"] Fuh…fuh fart…Fuuh…forr…tuu…"Fortune," huh, huh, "Fortune Teller."
Yeah, heh, heh, heh, let's go tell her our fortune. Heh, heh, heh.
No dumbass. She tells your fourtune.
Oh, heh, heh, heh, hey Butt-head, what's that mean?
You know, your future.
Heh, heh, heh, what's that mean?
I don't know. Huh, huh, huh.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.