Now, listen up people. I am not an unreasonable man, but I say that there's nothing wrong with you little monsters that can't be cured by a quick return to the days of CORPOREAL PUNISHMENT!
“They're Coming To Take Me Away, Huh Huh” · Season 4, Episode 5
In this episode: Smart Butt-head (3), Smart Beavis (3)
Now, here to talk about your feelings is your new school psychiatrist, Dr. Floss.
How about your parents? Your mother, for example. How do you feel about your mother?
Um, like this...(gesturing the shape of his mother's body) Yeah. Heh-heh. Kinda like this...(continuing to gesture).
That's not how I feel your mother.
Shut up, fartknocker!
[slaps Butt-headdown to the floor]
I got the last grape! [takes the last grape sucker]
No way, Beavis! I saw it first!
[Spits on the sucker] My germs!
[slaps Beavis, causing him to scream] No way! [gets kicked in the groin, followed by the head] Uuh! [gets tackled by Beavis] Aah!
[continues screaming] Butthole!
[while they're on the couch, in a somewhat suggestive position] No way! Come on, Butt-head! I always get the grape!
It's not gonna taste like grape, when it's up your butt!
[holds up a picture--merely a random pattern] What do you see in this picture?
It's this dude, and he's like "auditioning his finger puppets". Huh huh.
Yeah. Yeah. He's "shining his helmet".
I see. And what do you see here? [holds up another picture of random shapes]
Whoa... He's really corralling the tadpole.
Yeah. Yeah. He's really peelin some chilis.
I see. What about this one? [holds up another picture of no particular shape]
Woah... Leave a little for next time, dude!
Yeah. Yeah. He's really, like, having a tug-of-war with Cyclops!
I see.
[takes the picture and looks at it] Paper or plastic, sir?
Huhuh...he's masturbating.
And how about this last drawing? [shows a picture of a Julio Iglesias-like singer holding his microphone pole between his legs in a suggestive manner]
Uhh...that's, like, just a bunch of weird shapes.
Fascinating. [calls for Principal McVicker via intercom] Principal McVicker, could you come in here? We've got big problems.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.

