Hey! Spank your own monkey all you want, but keep your hands off of mine.
S2 E20Babes R Us
BBBeavis, Butt-head
[in unison] Diarrhea, cha cha cha! Diarrhea, cha cha cha!
Get a life.
Butt-head:go away, diarrhea!
BBBeavis and Butt-head
[in unison] Diarrhea, cha cha cha! Diarrhea, cha cha cha! Diarrhea, cha cha cha!
Get a life.
TCTicket clerk
How old are you fellas?
Fifteen.
Yeah, heh-heh.
Uh…[in a deeper voice] uh, I mean, twenty-seven?
S2 E21Yogurt's Cool
Do either of you have metal plates in your skull?
Uh, we're both metalheads.
S2 E22Heroes
BBBilly Bob
Hey, there. Welcome to Bob's Fancy Skeet. You boys eighteen?
Uh…no.
BBBilly Bob
[coughs] Let me start again. Hey there, you boys eighteen? [points to sign that reads, "MUST BE 18 OR OVER"]
Uh…no.
You bagged a jumbo jet.
Do I get to keep it?
[reads instructions on door] In case of... uhh... pull... hand-le... [strains as he pulls the emergency handle on a door at the front of the jet, then gives up] Uuuhh...! that's hard!
Hey Butt-Head, pull my finger. Heh-heh-m.
No way, huh-huh. Pull my leg. [They both leave the area]
S2 E24Washing the Dog
[reading off the washing machine] Huh huh huh, it says ‘load'.
BBBeavis+Butt-head
[[singing to the tune of "Breaking the Law" by Judas Priest ] Washing the dog, washing the dog! Washing the dog!
[placing the dog in a washing machine] It's a poodle, set it on "delicate".
Hea hea, I barfed on the dog.
Huh huh, I barfed on you.
Hey, Mr. Anderson, are you gonna die pretty soon?
Yeah, and leave all your money to someone?
That would be cool.
That's it! Get your worthless hides off my property and don't ever come back!
Uh…okay, but, uh, we got just one question.
Get out!
Uh…can we be in your will?
S2 E25Friday Night
Check it out. [the due sees a sign that reads, "WEINERS! 50¢"]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.