Guidance Counselor quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Guidance counselor

  [looking at Beavis's and Butt-head's files]  Oh, well, there are people in the bottom percentile.

Guidance counselor

  Do either of you have metal plates in your skull?

Butt-head

  Uh, we're both metalheads.

Guidance Counselor

Low grades reflect a lack of goals.

Butt-head

Uh, I thought it was because we're stupid.

Beavis

Yeah.

Guidance Counselor

Not at all. So what do you want out of life?

Butt-head

Uh, I wanna score.

Beavis

Yeah, with two chicks! And I want money, too! Yeah!

Butt-head

That would be cool.

Guidance Counselor

What about your higher aspirations?

Butt-head

"Ass."

Beavis

Whoa, you're into behinds too? You and McVicker should hang out.