“U.S. History”
In this episode: Smart Butt-head (5), Smart Beavis (4), Mr. Van Driessen (3), Daria Morgendorffer (2)
And when this "magic bullet" went into the President's chest, it had to make a sharp turn in order to exit his body from the neck. Then it would have had to turn right, then left, and somehow have enough energy to hit the Governor in the front seat. Clearly, the assassination was a conspiracy.
Mr. Van Driessen Thank you, Daria. That gave me the chills. Folks, these have been some of the best oral reports I have ever heard!
Huhuhuh...oral.
Yeah, heheh, I'm going to do an anal report.
You guys will never graduate.
Uhh... never masturbate?
Graduate! It's when you're all done with school.
You mean, like, school ends?
That's right, Beavis. When you finish high school, you'll never have to take another class if you don't want to. But that's not going to happen if you don't give your oral report right now.
My report, is on the time, me and Butt-Head had like, dinner and stuff.
Now Beavis, what does that have to do with American hist--
[angrily] Shut up, I'm not done yet!
Now Butt-Head, please make your report about a figure in American history.
Uhh. Okay. Uhh, my report is, uhh, my report is about the time I kicked Beavis in the nads and he was, like, passed out all day.
=== Feel a Cop ===
'Butt-:Head':::Insert speaker's name:::Insert speaker's name:yuiy78yhhiffuygyg::: huh-huh-huh. me sohorny
Beavis and Butt-head walk up to a female police officer who is posing as a prostitute.
Hey baby... So like how much.
Fifty
Cool, Beavis, do you have fifty cents?
Cops are listening in on Beavis and Butt-head from a van outside.
(on the radio) Wow Butt-head check out the size of that rubber.
Come on make a spacific offer for sex.
(on the radio) That's a shower cap dumbass.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
