Smart Beavis quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Beavis

Look, Butt-Head. (pulls out the hedgetrimmer) Say hello to my little friend!

Beavis

Did you try kicking him in the nads?

Beavis

[excitedly] Yeah, straitjacket! Straitjacket!

Beavis

Ahh! He's trying to kill me!

Beavis

  [horrified and panicking]  I'll never poop again!!

Old Beavis

I don't get this book. What happened to the caterpillar? ... Who's this moth? See, this is why I never read.

Beavis

Those squares remind me of that game all those stupid dorks play...um, chest.

Beavis

Yeah. It doesn't even have anything to do with boobs.

Beavis

Strike One! Strike Two! Strike Thr... AAAARRGH!

Beavis

[scared] My butt HURTS!!

Beavis

See, see right here during this part, they should be playing some like, uh, some old timey piano music, you know. :[Imitates music]

Beavis

Ten Six Niner, Ten Six Niner, we got whores in the city! We need back up now! Come on!

Beavis

[singing] Ever since I was a young boy, I've played the silver ball!

Beavis

Whoa! That guy just caged his elephant!

Beavis

You know, a while ago when Coolio said "I see myself in the pistol smoke", he stole that from Snoop Doggy Dogg.

Beavis

Whoa, check it out. [sings along] He died and he died and he died and he died and he died and he died and he died and he died and he died and he died...[Butt-head smacks him] OOOOWWWWW!!!! Oh, thanks, Butt-head. I was stuck.