A character in Aqua Teen Hunger Force
2nd most-quoted character in Aqua Teen Hunger Force: in 334 of its 785 quotes
Most scenes with: Master Shake (201), Frylock (169), Carl (62)
What's wrong with your elbow?
Oh, you didn't get that surgery. I'm sorry.
We don't have insurance.
Only two people have the easy-flow elbow, and one of them happens to be named Bruce Willis.
Santa's coming tonight Meatwad, so I really need your Christmas list—
Here.
…and if you've been a good boy this year, you may just get this…this L-shaped thing.
No, see, what that is, is a hair dryer.
You want a hair dryer?
Yeah.
For what? You don't have any-
Keep reading, next to the hair dryer.
This—this is a squiggle.
No, that's hair. You read it backwards, fool. So go get it.
Shoo, that sure was a good sleep I had. WHERE ARE THE DAMN PRESENTS?!
It's 4:00 in the afternoon Meatwad, that wasn't Santa.
Well, you know, maybe Santa's just gettin' a jump start on things this year. 'Cause, you know, statistics they show that there are more people in the world today. That's China's fault.
Where do you get this information?
Regis.
Well, there ain't gonna be no dinner this year.
What about your girlfriend. I thought she was gonna cook.
"Co-fiancee." Let's get it right, please.
"Co-"?
Yeah, you know, I'll split her with Carl. So he's "co-owner."
You're depraved.
Yes, thank you, I think she sees that quality in me. But that damn Carl is so Selfish.
Carl should remember the reason for the season.
The reason for the season is pleasin and I ain't gettin much pleasin and Carl better get his ass with the program.
Get with what program, Cup?
Okay, I'm awake. Let's, uh, friggin go get married.
Oh Good!
Yeah, brotha!
Let's get married, yeah!
[at Carl's house]
And do you, Svetlana... what does this say?
Look, just say Smith or Jones or something... there's no way you can pronounce that right.
Svetlana Smith take Carl...
Just say Smith again, it don't matter... none of this matters.
...Smith to be your lawfully wedded husband...
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
...to honor...
Back up! Rewind!
...take Carl, and Master Shake...
That's more like it.
to be your lawfully wedded husbands as long as you three shall live.
[speaking Russian, from inside Carl's house]
Alright, yeah!
Alright, score!
Sweet nectar!
Okay, now shove the ring under the door.
No, we're not doing the ring, I'm not gettin' roped into all that.
How can you not have a ring?
No, it ends here. I haven't seen food once since she's shown up.
He's right, let's do this thing - light this candle.
By the power invested in me by the state of New Jersey I now pronounce you men and wife. You may now kiss the door.
Blow it open Frylock.
Do it!
[speaking Russian; escapes]
Svetlana, baby?
Great! Great!
Oh Man! She got the car.
Well technically, it's half hers now, right? Or a third, I don't know.
Introducing the new Misters and Mrs. Bertwoski!
It's Brutananadilewski! And you get the hell out of here!
No way, you are staying! We got him 'til two.
And that is where babies come from... for machines.
Boy, that's some story. That... kinda is different from what I been told about people loving each other... and, you know, physically...
No! That is very wrong! You cling to your pathetic fable of fluid exchange.
Man, it makes me sad they had to open their gifts in front of an ape and they were all made out of doodoo. What kinda Christmas is that?!
It's okay Meatwad. This is all a bunch of bull.
You don't believe?
Believe what? That you're a ghost and Santa Claus is an ape? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever–
Was an ape. Now he is a machine!
I left cookies and a glass of milk FOR A MACHINE?!!
No man, he's an ape. [They look at him questioningly] I mean, wait he is a machine! You were trying to mess me up on purpose!
I hate to be a buzz kill, but he said that your house is on elf graves and they're pissed off.
All right, fine, we'll do that.
And the blood's just gonna keep flowing, unless ….
Unless Carl pays tribute to the Elfin Elders in space.
I'll do it. What do I do?
You must give up yourself to the Great Red Ape.
Okay … how much?
Sexually.
… wonderful.
Now look, you listen to me as hard as you fucking can. That fucking robot came with the fuckin' house, and now he's fucking gone! If you see that mother--
Oh, don't worry, we'll tell you!
You fucking better. If I find out he's over here, I'm gonna be eating my cereal out of the bottom of your fuckin' skull! Verstandlich?!! [Glenn walks away]
Ok. So... thank you
[To Cybernetic Ghost] Hey you come out now. He's gone.
(about Danzig) I cannot live with that guy. He is so annoying, he is so frightening, and he doesn't wear a shirt.
You make our house bleed right now!
Meatwad, can you hear me?
Meatwad [slurred]: You give me another beer. I'm 21!
Oh, great, he's drunk!
I'm not drunk! You're the drunk one! Are you gonna do somethin' about it?!
Yeah, I'll do somethin' about it! How about THAT?! [kicks Meatwad]
Ow!
Ya like that?
Do that to my face! What, you scared?! [gets kicked] Ow! You did it again!
[Meatwad is repeatedly kicked until the snake faces Shake]
You son bitch!
This is stupid. Let's kick him out of here. [kicks Meatwad a couple more times, then turns to the snake] What are you lookin' at?
(Master Shake and Meatwad inside the snake)
Oh God, it smells like a Brewery in here!
(slurred) Yeah just keep shoutin' you stupid.
Frylock, blow his head off!
Do not kill him, he is a friend of mine. How'd you like to deal with me?
Oh will you shut up you drunk?!
What you just decide that I'm drunk? You can't decide.
SHUT UP!
I make that decision.
Oh my God...
That decision is mine and God's.
Will ya listen to yourself?
Roger that...
Now look...
...and I'm not. I change...I ain't make that decision.
Do not listen to Meatwad!
That wasn't a decision that was made here.
You killed us! I told you not to do it and you did it... anyways.
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No I didn't!
Yes, you did
No, I didn't!
Yes! you did!
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
Yes! you did!
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
...yeah, you did.
No, I didn't!
Yeah! You did!
No, I didn't!
You did!
No, really, I didn't!
Yes, you did
No, I didn't!
Yes! You did!
No, I did not!
Wait! Did you just say that you did?
He did?
What, did he say that he did?
No, I said I didn't.
...cause you did!
No, I didn't!
Did, too.
Didn't!
Did.
Didn't!
Did!
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
Watch the fire. Over there. You're gonna burn yourself.
Oh, thank you. ...but you did!
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
You so friggin' did!
No, I didn't!
Of course you did!
No, I did not!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
Well, yeah, you did.
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
You did!
No, I didn't!
You friggin' did!
No!
Yes, you did!
No really, I didn't!
Yes, you did! Yes, you did! Yes, you did! Yes, you did! Yes, you did!
He wanted me to give you these cell phones. They link you directly to the man himself.
He's giving us a cell phone?
There's no text messaging. This a suck phone.
[answering phone] Drizzle here.
Hello, yes, Drizzle. Violent criminals have put... what did you, Fat Albert...
Prince Albert.
Oh, have put... Fat Albert in a can.
No it's Prince. Prince Albert.
Oh, okay. Hold on. [to Shake on the phone] Have put... F-Fat Albert in a can, in your can.
I'll need precise coordinates, ma'am.
Oh okay, it's... it's in your butt, boy! [snickering] It's in your butt! Did you hear me? It's in your butt.
Pranksters! Sons of—
I'm calling Japan.
WHO THE HELL DO YOU KNOW IN JAPAN??!! NOBODY!!!
Hello, Japan?
NO!!
Yes, connect me to Godzilla, please.
[takes phone away] YOU DON'T GET ONE! I told the Drizzle you'd mess this up! It hasn't been five minutes and you already did!
Master ShakeDana Snyder · 394 quotes
FrylockCarey Means · 329 quotes
CCarl195 quotes
IIgnignokt30 quotes
ErrMatt Maiellaro · 27 quotes
OglethorpeAndy Merrill · 26 quotes
EEmoryMike Schatz · 20 quotes
Cybernetic GhostMatt Maiellaro · 12 quotes
TurkatronMatt Maiellaro · 12 quotes
WDr. Weird11 quotes
SSteve11 quotes
Happy-Time HarryDavid Cross · 10 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force · 785 quotes