Scenes with Wakko 105
U.N. me, we had a bag of fun down by the East Riverside!
That United Nations there drives away a fella's care.
183 countries meet down by the East Riverside,
New York, off 42nd Street.
WakkoSee foreign states with a grudge down by the East Riverside.
United Nations tries to fix wars, famine, and oil slicks.
Boutros Boutros Ghali-gee down by the East Riverside,
Leads the General Assembly.
The gift shop will take traveler's checks down by the East Riverside.
German tourists were not rare buying T-shirts and flatware.
Ate pastry from Liberia down by the East Riverside,
At the U.N. cafeteria.
Took a tour with some Dutch down by the East Riverside
We had a guide from Japan who had a decent pension plan.
Saw costly artwork from Brazil down by the East Riverside,
On which my soda I did spill.
U.N. me, we had a bag of fun down by the East Riverside.
Saw flags on shiny poles from lands with lofty goals.
We'll beat our swords into liverwurst down by the East Riverside,
But no one wants to be the first.
But then I guess it could be worse.
Wakko
We could still sing one more verse.
[The Warners were in the bathtub. Dot screams]
Wakko
[sing-song voice] Uh oh! I feel a bubble coming on!
[Both Yakko and Wakko run into the hot dog stand guy. The tired Dot walks up normally]
Hi. You must be Mr. Hot Dog Stand Guy.
HDHot Dog Stand Guy
Maybe I am! WHO ARE YOU?!
Wakko
I'm Wakko!
[hops into the hot dog stand guy's arms] And I'm cute, you great, big, hunk of a man you. [stretching her arms]
HDHot Dog Stand Guy
Oh, yeah?! Well, either you buy some hot dogs or LEAVE!!!
[to the viewers] Our new "special friend".
[Both Yakko and Wakko look at each other]
Hey Dot, how about a little enthusiasm?
Nah. I'm not in the mood for it today.
Hmm...Wanna skip this cartoon?
[Dot nods]
Wakko
[shrugs] Sure.
[The Warners leave]
HDHot Dog Stand Guy
Hey. Hey, come back! Hey! This cartoon's my big break! HEY! Sheesh. Stars. [takes off the fake mustache, puts it in the mustard jar, takes off the apron, throws it aside, and walks off]
[The sidewalk reveals to be the set; the lights turned off]
So sister, what's your story?
Well, I was born in the wagon of a travelin' show, my mama used to dance for the money they'd throw. Papa would do what...
BMBette Midler
[bursting through the door, singing] It's only one eye, but it's open!
No, not you either. [referring to Hello Nurse] HER!
[facepalm] All he-man detectives call women 'Sister' in the politically unaware decades preceding Women's Liberation. [to Hello Nurse] So sister, [to Dot] who's really not my sister but I'm just CALLING sister... [to Hello Nurse] you're about to describe your caper.
Well, it's a little green pickle that's sometimes found in salads.
[A You Bet Your Life-style fanfare plays]
That is correct! Tell her what she's won!
Wakko
[hops into Hello Nurse's arms] A date with me!
Of course, we can find him. [holds her romantically] Now about our fee.
[pulls out the money] I'm prepared to pay well.
Fine. We only ask one thing.
Never put us on opposite "60 Minutes"; we'll get creamed. [takes the money and drops Hello Nurse on the butt]
Wakko
I'm confused.
Wakko
Is this true about "The Wagon and the Traveling Show"? I don't remember that.
[to Yakko; annoyed] Can we please move on?
[to Hello Nurse] Tell us, where did you last see your boss?
In the Mambo Room at the Tropicombo Club. A band was playing Latin dance music. I was with the doctor, he mumbled something. The band had a big dumb guy playing drums and everyone was dancing under a pole, then the doctor vanished.
Now, lemme get this straight: He muttered some mumbo-jumbo during the Combo Samba in the Mambo at the Tropicombo. Then there was a jumbo dumbo playing the limbo on the bongos and then he was gone?
That is absolutely correct!
[A You Bet Your Life-style fanfare plays]
Wakko
[hops into Hello Nurse's arms again] Another date with me!
How come I always get the booby prize?
I'm not touching that one.
to his siblings] Let's hit the road!
[to Prunella] Vell, you know, when nature calls, you have to pick up the phone and say, "Hello. I got your message. I've got a package for you.".
Wakko
"I've got a package for you"? Excuse me?!
[sarcastically] Oh, look who's talking, Mr. Potty Emergency!
Wakko
Yeah, but I never said "package".
[singing about Googy] The censors all protest, 'cuz she's practically undressed, the cartoon vamp.
YWYakko and Wakko
Hello Googy!
[about the Fleischer animation that brings all inanimate objects to life] This is going to be the most frightening six minutes of our lives.
WSWakko's Nose
[comes to life] I know just how you feel. [hops off of Wakko]
Wakko
Hey! My nose is running!
[having an idea; takes out the handkerchief along with his siblings] Prepare to wipe!
[The Warners run after the nose]
[looking at herself in the mirror] Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the cutest one of all?
YWYakko and Wakko
Helloooooooo, NURSE!!!
[The sexy music plays]
Wakko
She's the woman of the year, independent, a career,
There's not a thing that she couldn't do.
Oh, she's alert, she's aware, she's got legs like Astaire
And a hundred-fifty-seven IQ.
She has several Ph.D.s, speaks fluent Japanese,
And her shoes will always match with her purse.
Whatever street she's walkin' down, everybody turns around and says...
YWYakko and Wakko
Helloooooooo, NURSE!!!
Wakko
She likes cheese and pepperoni, won a Pulitzer and a Tony,
She played the leading role in King Lear.
She never drinks, she never smokes, she never laughs at dirty jokes,
She was ambassador to China last year.
Oh, she's politically correct, she'd never co-collect,
She plays Chopin and she doesn't rehearse.
And when she's walkin' by, I give a little sign And say...
YWYakko and Wakko
Helloooooooo, NURSE!!!
Wakko:
She gets her math equations right, she reads Tolstoy every night,
She won the Nobel Prize in physics. It's true.
She drives a shiny new Corvette, sings opera at the Met,
Snd volunteers her time at the zoo.
She won a scholarship to Yale, got her Fulbright in the mail,
And took a two-year junior college degree.
She's manna sent from heaven, too bad I'm only seven 'cause,
Hello Nurse, I wish you'd take care of me!
YWYakko and Wakko
If she's not everything that we've said, then may lightning strike us dead! [lightning struck] Helloooooooo, NURSE!!! [kiss]
There once was a man, his name was Magellan.
A Portuguese skipper, the girls found him cute.
He sailed with five ships to find the East Indies
Then come back to Spain with a bounty of loot.
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, oh, happy Magellan!
Starting your journey with hardly a care!
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, strong, brave Magellan,
You'll find the East Indies, you just don't know where!
They crossed the Atlantic and spotted a country. Magellan said...
MMagellan
It's the East Indies at last!
But then someone shouted...
Wakko
Hey, that's Argentina!
Magellan got cranky and chopped down the mast.
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, settle down, Magellan.
Put down that axe! There's no time to despair.
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, keep trying, Magellan,
You'll find the East Indies, you just don't know where!
A great storm arose in the mighty Pacific.
The five little ships were diminished to three.
At last, land was sighted. Magellan was happy.
But then someone shouted...
Warners:
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, cheer up, Magellan.
Check out your map and don't tear out your hair!
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, keep trying, Magellan,
You'll find the East Indies, you just don't know where!
It took them five months, but they crossed the Pacific.
They spotted a land that was dotted with palms.
Magellan proclaimed...
MMagellan
Yes! That's the East Indies!
But then someone shouted...
Wakko
Hey, I think that's Guam!
Ai yi yi yi, oops, Magellan!
Your fun little journey's become a nightmare!
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, keep trying, Magellan,
You'll find the East Indies, you just don't know where!
They sailed due west to the Philippine Islands.
Magellan was pleased as the natives drew near.
But then someone shouted...
I think they're attacking!
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, farewell, Magellan!
You almost made it! It's really not fair!
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, oh, ghost of Magellan,
The East Indies Islands were right over there!
Come in, be a smarty!
The shindig's 'bout to starty!
Wakko
The gang's all here!
For the big wrap party tonight!
Wakko
There's chow galore!
To the big wrap party tonight!
We're dining buffet style with food from every nation.
So plan to stop a while and join the celebration!
Wakko
They've come for fun and feastin'.
We've even let the Beast in.
Let's go hors d'oeuvre-in' and see what they're servin'
At the big wrap party tonight.
There's manicotti for Dotty,
Soft shell taco for Yakko,
And Wakko is ready for a truck load of spaghetti
At the big wrap party tonight.
Hello Nurse is eating liverwurst,
Thaddeus Plotz has red hots.
Ralph the Guard is cooking with lard.
The apron that's cute is Dot's.
Wakko
Take a whiff, Dr. Scratchansniff.
No veal in the meal for Miss Flamiel.
The Flame keeps a-glowin'. The punch bowl's overflowin'
At the big wrap party tonight.
The Randy Beaman kid is eatin' fried squid
At the big wrap party tonight.
Wakko
The pasta by Pesto is the besto.
Bobby helps Squit, who's choking on a pit!
The cheese balls are nectar to Mr. Director...
At the big wrap party tonight.
The Great Wakkorotti has gone to the potty at the big wrap party tonight.
Runt bakes the bundt cakes.
A pocket of pita for Rita.
Nuttin' but mutton for Mindy and Buttons.
Sylvester wants a parakeet-ah.
Katie Ka-Boom can clear out a room.
Wakko
A pie, key lime...
Chicken Boo is eating tiramisu
At the big wrap party tonight.
The entire crew came from Acme Loo
For the big wrap party tonight!
Get another nappy for Slappy.
More bean dippy for Skippy.
Extra chippos for the Hip Hippos.
The Brain's eating pizza that's drippy.
Minerva Mink's leavin' with Steven.
A hot cocoa drinky for Pinky.
Yakko and Wakko
Don't allow tobacco
At the big wrap party tonight!
It's happy hour in the water tower
At the big wrap party tonight!
In our toon careers, these are the golden years!
We've loved the jokes, so thank you, folks!
You've eaten your fill, now here's the bill For the big wrap party...
Pay with your credit cardy!
At the big wrap party tonight!
The big wrap party tonight!
And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!
Wakko
I'm Wakko!
And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Balana - Oh, shoot!
[Yakko and Wakko laugh]
[holding up two fingers] Take two.
[Film whirs. Beep!]
And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!
Wakko
I'm Wakko.
And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Franchesca Banana Falana...Arrrgh!
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Banana Falana.
Wakko
[laughing] Banana Falana!
Oh, thanks for your support, Mr. P Pop Into the Mic!
Wakko
Oh, pooh! I never pop my P's!
Uh, Wakko? We got a big P pop on "pooh". Could we have that again?
[Film whirs. Beep!]
And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!
Wakko
I'm Wakko!
And I'm "Pincess"...DAAAAAAAAGH!
YWYakko and Wakko
Helloooo, Pincess! [laughing]
Wakko
[laughing] Pincess!
[laughing] Pincess, I love it!
Yeah, you try saying it sometime!
"Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bobesca the Third". [wags eyebrows]
Oh, thank you, Mr. United-States-Canada-Mexico-Panama. Big whoop. [to the camera] LET'S DO IT! [walks back]
[Film whirs. Beep!]
[tired] And now...the stars of our show...the Warners.
Wakko
[tired] I'm still Wakko.
And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Fo Foo- STOP! WHY CAN'T I GET IT [BLEEP!] BY GDDITRBBIT [BLEEP!] WHY GOT TO STOP IT [BLEEP!] AUGH!
That's my cute little sister who said that! Goodnight, everybody! [Dot sits on a step] Let's wrap it up, okay?
Oh, get off my back! What do you want me to do?
Try memorizing your lines.
Wakko
Another date with Brad Pitt?
Wakko
Hey, I can't help it if girls find me irresistable!
Yeah, until they learn you don't bathe!
[All Warner Siblings argue at once]
People, come on! Let's do this! Last take.
[Film whirs. Beep!]
[very tired] And now...the stars of our show...the Warners.
Wakko
[very tired] I'm Wakko.
[slowly] And I am Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca the Third!
[Yakko and Wakko cheered as the balloons and confettis fall]
Your brother and I just couldn't be prouder!
[offscreen] Let's move it along! Next line!
[reads the script] ...but you can call me "Dot"!
No time for that, we're moving ahead. [checks the script] Uhhhh...skip here.
Great! This village is so quaint, it makes me wanna break into a song!
Funny, I thought it breaks into a rash.
[The Warners are in the woods]
Come on! Let's go into that dark, spooky forest!
Wakko
[scared] Do we have to?
Well, if we don't, we'll find ourselves a fate worse than death.
Wakko
You mean-?
Yep. Another song by Dot!
[Wakko screams in terror]
[annoyed] Hey, what is this, "Make Fun of Your Sister Day" on Animaniacs?!
[She and Yakko argue throughout the woods. Later in another side of the woods]
Wakko
[looking at what is presumed to be a map] According to this, we've lost our way.
[Dot takes the map from wakko and looks at it]
This isn't a map, it's a flyer for the Republican Party!
Wakko
I know. That's why we lost our way. As a country, I mean. [eats the map]
[more annoyed] Yeah, yeah. We get it. Can we please get on with this?! [another background setting of the castle drops] Thank you. [they walk up to the front doors of the castle] Maybe whoever lives here must tell us where we are.
[They're paralyzed as they see the shadow of Taz]
[After The Warner Siblings come in after the "Hi there!" bomb has blown up in Taz's face]
Ahh, you're Taz, aren't you?
["Taz-mania theme" plays in the background]
Wakko
Could you do that thing, that funny thing that you do?
Wakko
No, that's not it!
Uh...WAAGGHDEEDEEDEEDEEIGH!!!!!!
No, no, that's not it either. You know, the funny thing!
Can we finish this cartoon?
To spell Santa's name is easy to do.
You write S-A-N-T and another "A", too.
But no "L", no "L", Santa's name has no "L".
And he won't be too pleased if you don't learn to spell.
Wakko
Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch water from the well,
But when neither one could find it, Jill started to yell.
No well, no well, can't believe there's no well!
We walked all the way here and I'm mad can't you tell!
Captain Ahab took his crew his harpoon and set sail
And he called out to ships...
Have you seen the white whale?!
SSailors
No whale, no whale, no, we ain't seen no whale!
S1Sailor 1
Saw a couple of dolphins...
S2Sailor 2
And a big yellowtail!
If you've listened to this tune, then you probably can tell
That you've heard it before. It's a song you know well.
Know well, know well, it's a song you know well,
And we've ruined it completely, so we all say, "Oh, well."
Oh, well, oh, well, we'll just say fare thee well!
Merry Christmas to you and a joyous Noel!
Animaniacs · 261 quotes
