Scenes with Wakko 105
We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did.
WakkoWe're touched so you'll be touched.
["Animaniacs" theme plays in the background as the end credits begin]
Phew! Am I glad that's over!
Awh. I have a headache this big, and it's got Warner Bros. written all over it.
"Produced by..." Gimme a break. Bunch of over-paid, credit-grabbing, do-nothings.
"Written by"? Oh, now, there's a joke. You call the dreck they stick us with writing? Huh. Puhlease.
"The Great Stoneeni". Bah. Just once I'd like the guy to write a song in my key. Just once.
Like that would do any good!
Oh, yeah, it's all about you. That's right.
Wakko
A voice director? Who's that?
Oh, you know, she the person who tells you to redo every line like fifty times.
Wakko
[furious] Her? I hate her!
"Rob Paulsen as Yakko". Hmmf! Yeah, right.
"Tress MacNeille as Dot". As if.
Wakko
"Jess Harnell as Wakko". I hear he's cute!
[sarcastic] Ooh, goodie. Here come the storyboard artists.
Wakko
What do they do?
Besides drawing us off-model and taking three hour coffee breaks, not much.
Wakko
Look at all those names. Who are all these people?
Oh my- unh. You know, they're artists, Wakko.
Wakko
I'll bet.
You might want to stop by the studio some time, you could meet a few of them.
Wakko
I'm busy! "Executive in charge of Production"? What does that mean?
[slowly] Nobody really knows.
Wakko
"Executive Producer - Steven Spielbrig"?
Nonononono - Steven...Springblush.
No, no - Springbile. No, Spriezlof... naw, Mr. Kate Capshaw.
Hey, you wanna go get a cappuccino?
Wakko
Nah, I got a date.
When do you not have a date?
Wakko
[angrily] I got a date! So, sue me!
She will! Hey - d-did you turn off the mikes?
N- [whispering] No, I thought you did!
You're not gonna sing, are you?
For the sake of the show, no!
Hey, hey! Like you're Pavarotti? I'm outta here there.
But Grandmama Maple, what about my problem?!
You figure it out. Nothin' I'd say in this picture makes any sense anywhay. [leaves with Skippy]
JSJohn Smith
[arrives] Um, excuse me. [Dot turns around, does a wild take and bounce around the tree before landing flat on the stump] I'm sorry. Did I frighten you?
JSJohn Smith
[holds out his hand] I'm John Smith.
Oh, I bet you tell that to all the hotel clerks. [pointing at John Smith's hand] What's that all about?
JSJohn Smith
A handshake is how we say, "Hello".
[smiling suggestively at him] Would you like to see how we do it?
Hellooooooooo, Mel! [kisses him]
JSJohn Smith
[wiping his mouth] Yuck! [sees Dot literally painting the forest and flowers] What are you doing?
Painting the colors of the passing wind.
Wakko
[pops out of the bushes] Did you say "passing wind"?
[shakes Wakko] PLEASE! PLEASE, I BEG YOU! LET US NOT GO THERE!
Wakko
Okay.
[Beginning the episode, the Warners ran away from Ralph and they hid behind a wall to catch thier breath as Ralph passes by. That's when they see something]
Wakko
Hey, guys! Look!
Time-out! [ran into an ice cream shop and they sat down on the bar seats]
Wakko
Oh Mr. Ice Cream Man!
TIToby the Ice Cream Man
Hey hey, hi, kids! What will you guys have today?
The usual. Give us the mango, papaya, quince...
Wakko
Coconut, persimmon, guava!
Big super duper triple malt shake!
Make mine stirred, not shaken.
Make mine not fat. Girl's got to watch her figure.
Wakko
Make mine extra fat.
TIToby the Ice Cream Man
Coming right up! [starts scooping some ice cream and puts them in a milkshake cup and a machine stirs the ice cream; whistles the Pinky and the Brain Theme song while waiting; then pours the malt into three large cups and puts a straw in each of them with a straw; gives one to Yakko who drinks it, Then hands the others to Wakko and Dot]
[as Wakko starts drinking his milkshake] Are you going to drink that in one gulp?
Wakko
Mmm...Maybe.
Could be more than you can handle.
Wakko
I'll take that as a challenge. [pushes Dot off of her seat] I've been doing this since I was a kid. [drinks his whole milkshake in one gulp and becomes bloated as he sits down in his seat; to Yakko] Told you!
[Yakko shrugs while drinking]
AAnnouncer
And now, Yakko Warner sings about time.
When you're traveling from Nantucket, through Chicago to St. Paul,
And you're standing at an airport. And you look upon the wall,
There's a clock for every city and a different time for all from Asia through Malaysia to Peru.
Did you ever wonder why that when it's 10:00 in Maine, at precisely the same moment, it is 3 AM in Spain?
When it's breakfast time in Rome, they're having lunch in the Ukraine,
And it's supper up in upper Kathmandu.
If the Earth were spinning faster as the sun is going past her,
Then a day would only be an hour long.
And school, when they begin it, would only last a minute,
Before everybody has to run along.
WDWakko and Dot
All right!
If the Earth were the planet that was closest to the sun,
A year would be much shorter and you'd have a lot of fun.
'Cause by the time you were in 1st grade, you'd be over 21.
And you'd live to be 900, 3 or 4.
Time is relative, dependent, you can save it,
You can spend it doing things you like to do or learning how.
Wakko
You can't see it, you can't taste it.
But you certainly can waste it.
Which is really what we're doing here right now!
The international date line's an imaginary cleft.
Today is on the right side and tomorrow's on the left.
So when you cross it, do you then arrive the day before you left?
That's how it'd work, it's quite berserk, you see.
So if you were born in China, while I'm born in Carolina,
Well, then, you're a day ahead of me, you see.
So the way I've got it reckoned, if we're born in the same second,
Then why should you be a day older than me?
But it really is no miracle the difference in our birth.
Because the world is spherical, that's why around the Earth.
There's always different times for Moscow, London, Boston and Ft. Worth.
And that's the way it's always gonna be.
So remember, when you're traveling from Nantucket to St. Paul,
nd that airport as you're staring at those clocks upon the wall.
You should think about this song, my friend, and then you will recall.
Wakko
That it was mildly amusing.
But then totally confusing.
And we bet you wish we hadn't sung at all!
Wakko
Hey! Where is this Key West anyway?
There they are, sibs! The Florida Keys! Right between the Florida pocket lint and the Florida spare change.
[The plane does a nosedive and then, it stops a few feet in midair]
[1. Lunchtime with Spielberg; Wakko is having lunch]
Wakko
Thanks, Steven. It's sure nice to have lunch together.
[Camera moves back to reveal the speaker]
[in the speaker; stammering] Oh, g-g-g-g-good. I'm glad we've had some time together.
[The Warners are on a boat at the sea]
Wakko
I think we're lost.
[sees a message in a bottle bobbing up and down on the water] Look, a message in a bottle.
[Yakko grabs the bottle from the water]
Wakko
Fan mail for some flounder?
No, it's from some entertainment lawyer. [to the viewers] We should have never stolen this bit.
At least we didn't steal this next cartoon.
[to Dot] That’s what you think.
[Dot laughs offscreen]
YWYakko and Wakko
Hello, Nurse!
I am NOT Trying to be annoying.
YWYakko and Wakko
[in Spanish accents] AI!
I act like a nut, so they call me Macadamia.
I dance like a klutz on a show called Animania.
Am I a cutie? Absolutie!
And a beauty, you can bet your patooty!
DMDot, Minerva Mink, and Hello Nurse
But if you touch me, or even get near me,
I'll have you arrested...Do you hear me?
Dot is a nut, so they call her Macadamia.
She's cracked in the head and kooky in the brainia.
Each line in this song sounds pretty much the same-ia.
Oy, Macadamia!
YWYakko and Wakko
[in Spanish accents]
¿Donde que vas a Lerendo Macadamia?
Hoia que paste le grande Crack O' Crania.
Qui a coupé le lege we abstaenia.
SHSlappy, Hello Nurse, Skippy, and Ralph
Oy, Macadamia!
[Wakko belches]
Now, please, don't mention my brother, the one they call Wakkorino!
[Wakko belches again. Overdubbed harmony plays in the background]
He's always burping every hour, so I threw him out of the tower!
[Wakko yells; laughs]
Now, come on! What did you want me to do? He was grossing me out! And I'm just a cute little thing, so don't cross me!
She's cracked like a nut, so they call her Macadamia.
Whenever she gets mad, you'll experience pania.
Cuts and bruises you will sustainia,
Oy, Macadamia!
YWYakko and Wakko
[in Spanish accents]
Lava tus manos, por favor, Macadamia.
The world is the goal for Pinky and the Brainia.
[in her Spanish accent] Otra vez on y vas the repetitive refrainia...
SHSlappy, Hello Nurse, Skippy, and Ralph
Oy, Macadamia!
[Break it down now!]
Don't hate me because I'm cute!
[Pesto beats up Squit]
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Oy, Macadamia!
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Oy, Macadamia!
[Dot laughs. Skippy laughs. Pinky laughs. Minerva Mink, Hello Nurse, Skippy, Pinky, and Dot laugh]
[spoken] I don't get it. What's the joke?
MMMinerva Mink, Hello Nurse, Skippy, Pinky, and Dot
Uh...
I'm a nut who's known as Macadamia.
But you can call me by my other nameia.
DMDot, Minerva Mink, and Hello Nurse
Louisa Francesa Banana Fana Bo Besca.
Or just plain "Dot", the name I flirt to.
But if you call me "Dottie", I'll have to hurt you!
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Oy, Macadamia!
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Oy, Macadamia Nuts!
What da ya know? We actually did it!
Wakko
We've written a show.
Wakko
But we've still got a chance to get rich.
We've just gotta make that pitch.
To the CEO who gives the go.
'Cause he's the guy says yes or no.
To make it into a movie so you see!
Out the door, my friends and follow me!
Wakko
Hey, where are we going?
We're on our way to go see Mr. Plotz,
'Cause he's the man in charge who calls the shots.
He's really good, he's Hollywood,
And no one can deny.
Wakko
He knows the biz 'cause he's a whiz.
And that, my friends, is why.
We're on our way to go see Mr. Plotz.
I hear he's got a plane and several yachts.
'Cause he's successful; he's a genius,
He's the man who has it all.
Got a Bentley in his driveway.
Wakko
And an Oscar on his wall.
He's the guy that Steven Spielberg wants to know.
CCrowd
He's Mr. Plotz, the Warner CEO.
The script is great real first rate
That is why we just can't wait
To hear him say it's all a go
To make it into a movie so.
CCrowd
They're on their way to go see Mr. Plotz,
'Cause he’s the king of all the movie lots.
He takes a lunch with Streisand and she always pays the bill,
Plays golf with Arnold Palmer, hired Cecil B. DeMille!
Wakko
He even made money on a movie with Don Knotts, my hero!
That's why we're on our way to go see Mr.
YWYakko and Wakko
Warner Brothers.
On our way to go see Mr. Plah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah...
Ready or not, here we come!
Gonna see Mr. Plotz!
[They stop to see other producers are waiting in line to see Plotz as well]
[to the viewers] So are the rest of people in town.
There are 50,000 diff'rent kinds of animals
And there are 50,000 more that used to be.
There's a hundred million ants and a half a billion plants
And a lot of fish down underneath the sea.
There's gotta be a couple million spiders,
A hundred 50,000,000 butterflies and bees,
And a bunch of different mammals like those elephants and camels
And approximately 50,000,000,000 trees!
YWYakko and Wakko
But there is only one of you; that makes you special.
You stand out among the other things, it's true!
Yes, the universe is large and whoever is in charge
Made lots of things but only one of you!
A one and a two and a three and a four
A thousand and a million and a billion or more!
There's a trillion drops of water in the ocean,
And a billion trillion molecules of air.
There are insects here en masse, and a trillion blades of grass,
And a thousand strands on every head of hair.
A lot of little grains of dirt make up this planet,
Z billion atoms on the head of every pin,
A million birds that all can fly, a trillion stars up in the sky,
And all the many different people there have been!
But there is only one of you; that makes you special.
Yes, there is nothing else exactly like you are!
As you're unique and you're terrific and you're kinda built specific
'Cause there's no one else the same as the person you became.
Wakko
In fact you're kind of weird!
But we like you just the same!
'Cause you're the only one of you there are! Baba-dootin baba-dootin' baba-doo-bah!
Wakko
In Hollywood, they have a certain way they like to talk.
It's used by all those folks who can't chew gum and also walk.
It's found inside Variety, a movie magazine.
Wakko
And everyone who reads it wonders what the headlines mean.
Like "Mitch makes a pitch, and he's gonna get rich"...
Wakko
Means someone's got a movie that sold.
"Brando's mad, says the screenplay's bad"...
Wakko
Means someone else was offered the role.
It's called Fargo Two with a story that's new"...
Wakko
Means they're gonna shoot it all in LA.
"The budget got maxed, so someone got faxed"...
Wakko
Everybody's on the carpet, so the writer got the axe.
Well, "Merchandise scores in the theme park stores"...
And Disney is the king of the hill.
"Michael Ovitz in talks with 20th Fox"...
Means he wants another ninety-three mil.
Wakko
If you want the poop...
On Hollywood Town this week...
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah, Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
"Studio bomb, gets Oscar nom"...
Means all the actors gotta be Brits.
Wakko
"Bronfman's play for MCA"...
Means the Japanese are calling it quits.
Wakko
"No scripts are new" means Jurassic Park 2...
And a trillion little dinosaur toys.
"The cash flows nice, they're releasin' it twice"
Since it isn't out on video, they're jackin' up the price.
Well, "Studio Czar wants unknown star"...
Means they couldn't get Robert Duvall.
Wakko
But "They're in trouble again, doing Mice and Men"...
With Martin Short and Steven Seagal.
You gotta stay alive and if you wanna survive in Hollywood Town this week,
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah, Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Normal talk makes producers walk...
You might as well speak Greek.
You're gonna have to learn...
Wakko
Or the meeting will adjourn...
Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety speak!
AAll
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah, bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Bop, doo, bop, doo, bop, doo, bah, dah!
[During the parody of Independence Day in their own movie "Hooray for North Hollywood"]
I suggest we evacuate immediately.
Wakko
Me too! [farts] Oops! Twice.
Then the only thing left to do is...JUMP!
[The Warners jump from their water tower, scream and run, just as the spaceship destroys the water tower in half]
That's the sign that the bus has got
Written up where everyone can see me,
L.A.D.O.T.
Spells L.A. Dot; Who'd've thought
The one so cute could be this hot?
The metro line has built a sign for me.
When I go walking down the street
All the folks I chance to meet
Will wave and smile and throw a fuss
'Cause I'm the girl whose name is on the metro bus!
And no else has that spot.
Meryl Streep and Cher do not,
Madonna, she is totally not.
No, the only name there's L.A. Dot!
'Cause I'm the best still, I'm floored;
Who'd have guessed I'm so adored?
You'd think I'd be conceited but I'm not.
I'm just simple, humble, gorgeous L.A. Dot!
I'm overwhelmed. Quite a lot.
Blown away; I kid you not!
Who would have expected
For a sign to be erected
Saying L.A. Dot? But hey, why not?
I am a star from the Warner lot
Who they're thinkin' of 'cause they're all in love with me.
So if, my friends, you chance to spot
A great big bus with "L.A. DOT"
No need to ask or wonder why
You know that it was put there by
My loyal fans who clap their hands
And cheer while banging pots and pans
They'll greet me now with marching bands a lot.
Yes, they put me on the bus
So that every one of us
Could see that they love L...A...
[spoken] Dot, excuse me, but that's not your name. L.A.D.O.T. stands for Los Angeles Department Of Transportation.
[spoken] Oh. Well. [singing]
You can find me on my web page spot.
It's www.dot.dot!
YWYakko and Wakko
Dot dot Dot!
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and everybody cheer.
We've managed somehow, friends, to make it through another year.
Let's stay up late, let's celebrate, and then count down from ten
'Cause tomorrow when we wake up, guys, the whole thing starts again.
It's New Year's Eve and I'm a beaut
Dressed up in my tuxedo suit
Got a shirt and vest that are starched and pressed like new.
I do, and I'm lovin' the view!
Wakko
'Cause it's New Year's Eve and I'm lookin' swell
With a white carnation in my lapel
Got a coat and tie and I can't deny it's true.
It's New Year's Eve and I do believe
I'll hit all of the restaurants in sight.
The party's at Sardi's and old Guy Lombardi's
Doing the countdown tonight.
Well, it's New Year's Eve; let the party rock,
Let's dance, and then, when it's 12:00.
We'll sing them tunes and we'll pop balloons with a cheer!
Bring out the confetti; we're ready. Hey, happy new year!
It's New Year's Eve, so let's all get dressed
In a tux or gown; when you look your best,
You're the belle of the ball, you're the one that they all came to see!
Happy new you, my friend, and happy new me! Mwah!
Wakko
May auld acquaintance be forgot on New Year's Eve, they say.
Let's give a cheer; a brand-new year will soon be here to stay.
Let's drink our fill o' sasparilla.
Wakko
We're too young for champagne.
And every New Year's Eve. It's time to scream and go insane!
It's New Year's Eve and it's almost here.
We'll dance and swing from the chandelier
And we'll all go nuts. When the ribbon cuts, we'll cheer.
Dot': When midnight comes, we'll cut a rug.
We'll toast each other and kiss and hug
As the shouters and screamers throw all of those streamers right here.
Wakko
It's New Year's Eve, but don't you grieve
'Cause another year's headed our way.
It's gonna be great 'cause we're stayin' up late
Then tomorrow we'll sleep in all day.
It's New Year's Eve; gonna have a blast
The new one's here and the old one's past
Wakko
So forget your worry And everyone hurry, you hear?
It's okay, be a jerk, go berserk; Have a happy new year!
[The Warners repeatedly change their seating arrangement]
EEd
Knock it off! We're in a car here. Just pick your seats!
Wakko
Will they let us do that on TV?
EEd
[annoyed] Forget it! [to Dot] You wanna sit here? Fine, I'll move over. You can sit here, [to Wakko] and you can sit next to the window. Okay, everyone happy? Is there anything else you'd like?
Yeah, my breakfast. I have a bagel with cream cheese on it.
So...you're sitting on it, Ed.
EEd
Oh, ugh! [takes the bagel with cream cheese out from under him] Oh, these pants were just cleaned!
Okay, then. [eats the bagel with cream cheese] Oh, did you want a bite?
EEd
[to Phil] Just drive, Phil, okay?! Just drive!
Animaniacs · 261 quotes
