A character in Animaniacs
Warners
Animaniacs · 261 quotes
5th most-quoted character in Animaniacs: in 38 of its 261 quotes
Most scenes with: Yakko (33), Wakko (32), Dot (29)
[singing]
'Who can turn the stove on with her smile?
Who can take a bubble bath, and suddenly fill it with crocodiles?
'Cause it's you, Dot! And you should know it!
Put nitro on a bridge go ahead and blow it!
Mud is all around, I guess it's spring.
Name another crooner other than Bing.
Don't throw your hat up in the air!
'Cause what might come down is a Frigidaire! Dot!
[First lines of the original series]
Newsreel of the Stars! Dateline: Hollywood, 1930, the Warner Bros. Studio. Here at the studio's new animation department, the artists toil endlessly to come up with cartoon stars, ultimately creating three new characters. [The Animator, Lon Borax, draws a wise-cracking, smart-and-fast-talking, oldest sibling with pants with a black belt; a very sweet-natured, loving, laughable, and positive middle sibling with a backwards baseball cap and a pale turtleneck sweater; and a cute and sassy youngest sibling with a skirt with a flower ribbon. Then he gets a red marker and paints them on their noses] The Warner Brothers and their sister, Dot.
[They jump out of the paper and Dot sits on The Animator and Yakko and Wakko jump on The Nurse]
Helllooooo, Nurse!
Unfortunately, the Warner kids were totally out of control.
[The Trio runs off]
[bouncing down the stairs] Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy!
The trio ran amok throughout the studio. Until their capture. The Warners' films, which made absolutely no sense, were locked away in the studio vault, never to be released! As for the Warners themselves, they were locked away in the studio water tower, also never to be released! Publicly, the studio has disavowed any knowledge of the Warners' existence, to this very day- when the Warners escaped!
[singing] The crankiest of creatures in the whole wide world. Our next cartoon features Slappy the Squirrel!
[opens the door] Enough with the singin' already![closes the door.]
[singing] That's Slappy!
Now, we will work on our diction. How do we avoid bad elocution?
Stay inside during a thunder storm.
[Wakko does a rim shot]
No, no, elocution, diction, pronunciation! We will work on our vowel sounds! Let's pronounce zis! A-e-i-o-u.
[trying to pronounce the as one word] "Aeiou"...
No, no. I want ze letters, the letters!
[dressed as mail men, throwing actual letters out of mail bags] Scratchansniff, Scratchansniff, Scratchansniff.
Hey! Doctor Otto Scratchansniff! You may have won 10 million dollars!
Are you married? [kisses Dr. Scratchansniff 6 times. The lip imprints stay]
No, no, NO!
With a temper like that, it's no wonder.
Stop! Haltenzie! For-ge-No! In your seats! [the lip imprints disappear] If you want to go to the party, you must stop with the gags!
[The Warner Siblings all wear physical restraints. Wakko has a lock, and Yakko and Dot have blindfolds over their mouths]
[in unison with Dot, taking the blindfolds off] Oh, alright.
Heh. Let's plunge ahead.
Okay!
[The Warner Siblings all jump off a high diving board into a small tub of water]
Cannonball!
Yergh!
[The Warner Siblings splash him and the screen]
[nervously] Please, tell our honored new investors this party is our way of saying welcome, and, heh heh heh, [in a Western accent] you're A-O.K., partner. Ha ha ha ha.
[to Mr. Kato and other Japanese investor, in a Japanese accent] Yoko so, soshite anat wa A-O.K., partner. ("Welcome, And you're A-O.K., partner.")
[still nervous] Heh heh heh.
Ahem. Dr. Scratchensniff is arriving with The Warner Brothers.
[praying] Please, let those kids behave. I want my money. I want my money.
Uh... [points to Dr. Scratchensniff and the Warner Siblings]
Mr. Chairman, may I present, the Warner Brothers!
Addendum-the Warner Sister.
[bowing] How do you do?
[in a Japanese accent] Gokigen ikaga desuka? ("How are you?")
[to Mr. Kato and second Japanese investor, in a Japanese accent] Tokyo wa totemo omoshiroi tokuro desu ne. ("Tokyo is an extremely interesting place, isn't it?")
[to Yakko, in a Japanese accent] Zehi irashite kudesai. ("Please, go there.")
[to Mr. Kato and second Japanese investor, in a Japanese accent] Mada iki basho ga areba ne. ("If there's still a place to go, eh?")
[He and the Japanese investors laugh. Thaddeus Plotz laughs. The Japanese investors look at him. Thaddeus Plotz sighs weakly]
["Let the Anvils Ring" plays]
Let us introduce ourselves, o people of this land.
We are the Warner brothers...
With sister close at hand.
I bet you all are wondering who is this young unknown? And why am I inheriting the Anvilanian throne?
Yes, why?
Yes, why?
Oh, please, please tell us why.
The bottom of the family tree.
Starts with Yakko; that is me.
I'm the cousin to the sister of son's niece's brother,
Of the uncle's daughter's father, of the nephew's sister's mother,
And my grandpa's only cousin was the King's daughter's sibling,
But they're all gone.
So that is why...
I am now your king!
He is now our king!
Yes, I am now your king! Repeat what I just said!
Repeat what I just said! He is now our king!
And let the anvils ring!
[Anvil instrumental break with Anvil Chorus]
[to the tune of Old McDonald] Old King Yakko's mania [anvils play "E-I-E-I-O"] Was for Anvilania! [anvils play "E-I-E-I-O"]
So good citizens, I pledge to you, I'll do the best that I can do. For honor, country and the king...Let the anvils ring!
Let the anvils ring!
Let the anvils ring!
Let the anvils ring!
I'm balled over. That was good. You kids got it. You got that special zingy thing. That thing that only comes from here. [points at Yakko's chest]
That's just a spaghetti stain.
See, that's funny. You're wack-o!
No. [grabs Wakko] This is Wakko.
You're funny!
No, I'm Yakko. And, that's Dot.
[painting "The Scream"] Have we met before?
[crazy voice] Oh! I love these kids! They are so funny! Sweet kids who look like puppies! Flamiel! [normal voice] Where're you kids going?
Gen Murray's house?
You kids are gonna be in my movie.
[to audience] Movie?
Who are you talking to?
The people watching on TV.
Peoples? What peoples? [crazy voice] Hello, nice people in the TV! [normal voice] Hey! I don't see any...where'd they go? Ah, there you are! [crazy voice] Nice kids, we're with the movie gonna do a thing!
[The Warners scream and try to run out the door]
Duh! Where are they?
[shuts the door] Okay, Mr. Penzoil Head, you talked us into it. We'll do your movie.
[crazy voice] Oh. You'll do! The mov...! You'll do the! Happy! I am! So much! Oil!
[to audience] Be afraid. Be very afraid.
[after trying to play Beethoven's hearing aide as if it were a brass instrument] Where's the mouth piece to this thing?
It's in my ear.
[spits out in disgust] THAT'S REVOLTING! [throws the hearing aid onto Beethoven]
[speaking through the hearing aid] You really shouldn't put stuff in people's ears. You'll go deaf.
[his mouth pops out of his hearing aid] I "AM" DEAF!
[shrug] Too late.
[serious voice over] We were each chosen for our unique abilities. That's Dot. Her specialty: Cuteness. [Dot blows kisses] That's Wakko. His specialty: The mallet. [whacks some nuts with the mallet, and eats them all] That's me. My specialty: Two paddle-balls at once!
[referring to a map] Now you have to get from this office here to soundstage 64 here, and stop that director. Any questions?
[raising their hands] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
Would I look cute as a blonde?
Why do cats purr?
Who's chubbier, Perry Mason or Scotty on "Star Trek"?
Hey! Let's get some ice cream!
How 'bout this one? "Pistachio Almond Fruit Fudge Butterscotch Delight".
Ingredients: Zinc trisodium, aspartate, sorbitol and bisulfate, oxide beta carotene, lactic acid, carob bean. [singing] Grade-A milk emulsified, malto-dextrine alkalide, silicon deoxylite, lots of sugar.
Hey, alright!
Calcified synthetic salt, artificial barley malt, glycerine and aspartate, folic acid.
That tastes great!
Monosodium glutamate, dehydrated calceinate, soybean oil, butter fat, caramel center.
I'll eat that!
Hooray for sugar, 'cause we love it! Chocolate chips, we want more of it! Cakes and ice cream! Want to shove it down our throats real fast!
Here's a candy bar, you tried it?
Hey, let's all see what's inside it!
Gelatinized triglycerin, phosphate, soybean, lecithin, deoxylite tri-silicon, dipped in chocolate.
Bring it on!
Citrus enzymes, BHT, powdered milk.
Sounds good to me!
Baking soda, carob gum, carbohydrates.
Yummy-yum!
Monosodium glutamate, zinc disodium algenate, whole grain flour, yeast and fat.
Time to eat it! I'll do that!
We like sweets a lot, so give us all you've got and we'll stuff 'em in our bodies 'til they make our insides rot!
Little fools! I am Beelzebub! Lucifer! The Reaper of Souls! The Really Angry One! I AM SATAN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
So that's nothing! I'm: [rasping, sinister voice] Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bobesca the Third! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [normal voice] Just a little thing I do.
You blundering dolts! Don't you realize you've entered the fiery realm of Hades?!
Hades? [dashes back up to the surface, brings back a snowball, sets it down, and watches as it quicky melts] Boy, they were right! It didn't have a chance!
SILENCE! And now, prepare to suffer indescribable torment!
Another Bob Hope special?
Worse! Behold; Cerberus, the Hound of Hades! [Cerberus the three-headed dog appears] Cerberus my pet, toss these fools into the Lake of Fire. But slowly. I want to watch them wiggle in agony.
How about if we just wiggle here?
Wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle!
Cease this at once! Cerberus, throw them in!
Wanna meet my pet? [takes out the tiny white box, opens it, and the monster comes out growling]
[Cerberus yelps in fear and runs off. Satan grabs the Warners by their tails]
Hey, does George Hamilton know your tan's better than his?
SILENCE! I don't want to hear another peep from you!
Peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-!
STOP PEEPING!
[pause] Peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep!
Ooh! [walks over to the door] Beyond these doors is an agony worse than all others. You will remain in here for eternity, listening to...whiny protest songs from the 60s.
Oh, I hate the government, more than you and me, The government stole my goldfish, and unplugged my TV.
[Warner siblings scream]
Enjoy. [prepares to kick them in, but it cuts to him being kicked in instead for no reason whatsoever]
[Outside the Warner Bros. studio, the camera closes in on a building labeled "ANIMANIACS TEST KITCHEN" Explosion goes off inside. We look inside the building and we see the Warner siblings in the kitchen]
Welcome to the Animaniacs Test Kitchen. We're cooking up something really different for today's show. All we need are our ingredients. [singing]
A dash of Pinky and the Brain,
A cup of Slappy Squirrel,
A tablespoon of Goodfeathers,
Add Rita, Runt, then swirl.
We add a pinch of Hippoes,
Buttons and Mindy too.
Now top it off with Skippy Squirrel,
What's that make?
Animaniacs Stew!
[spoken] What did we come up with?
Just watch.
[The camera zooms into the pot]
[First lines; at the Boot Camp]
[chanting] Left, left, left, right, left. Recruits smell and that's no lie. Hate your guts gonna make you cry. Call me smart call me inspired. You're gonna march till I get tired. [spoken]I love my job.
[arrives in the car] Hey, sarge. The new recruits are here.
[grins deviously] Fresh meat. [chuckles; climbs aboard the jeeps and drives back to the camp with the soldier]
[The bus arrives, letting new recruits out. The Warner Siblings come out too]
Excuse us. pardon us. Coming through. Ah, summer camp at last! Eight weeks of fun, fun, fun!
[dressed in duck floater] Swimming and canoe racing!
Mosquitoes and bear attacks!
And not just any old camp, [gets the binoculars] boot camp!
Like Imelda Marcos, I've always adored boots. [the sergeant arrives] Hello, nurse! Hi, Mr. Camp Counselor. I'd like size three EEE boots with fringe and little pink bows on the toes, please. [wiggling her toes in the sergeant's face]
Get back in line, soldier!
[sniffs] Ew, who's P-yew?
[The sergeant giggles sheepishly]
Psst. Down here. Say, is there a girls' camp across the lake? You know. "Hello, nurse".
Fall in! [the Warners literally fall to the ground] Get up! [the Warners stand up] Now, fall in! [repeat] Get up and fall in!
[The Warners stand up and fall to the ground at the same time]
Is this part of our camp initiation? Frankly, we'd prefer the spanking machine.
Get up and get in line!
Well why didn't you say that in the first place?
[The Warners stand straight in line]
Who do you think you are?
We think, therefore we are the Warner brothers.
And the Warner sister.
[shakes hands with the sergeant] Glad to make my acquaintance.
[The sergeant's watch falls into Wakko's wrist]
[grunts] Give me that back, you little Gila monster! [takes watch]
All of it, Wakko. [Wakko gives back wallet, id cards, pen, teddy bear underwear, pink shirt, causes the sergeant to become embarrassed with a nervous smile] Excuse me, Mr. Camp Counselor, but, uh, when do we get to sing "Kumbaya"?
I am not a camp counselor! I am your drill instructor! This is the army, soldier!
[realizes] The Army?
Well, it's been fun. Gotta go.
Buh-bye.
[The Warners run off]
Get back here! [grabs them and puts them back in line] From now on, this Army will be your home. I will be your mother, father, aunt and uncle.
A family! [kiss the sergeant] Mwah!
Stop that, you - you - you - What are you, anyway?!
Infested with fleas.
[The sergeant looks at the camera]
[The Warners hold shovels. Dot spray paints boots pink]
Detail, halt. [they did so] A foxhole is a soldier's best friend.
Must be hard to go to the movies together.
Dig! [the Warners dig down, a fox comes out] Huh?
We'd move if we were you.
[The sergeant startles and falls into the hole, screaming]
Did we dig it deep enough?!
[The sergeant lands with a thud offscreen]
[Inside the plane]
Normally, parachuting is reserved for well-trained, elite troops. But in your case, I'm gonna make an exception. [chuckles; grabs the Warners and jump from the plane] Geronimo!
Sitting Bull!
By the way, we took your dirty sheets to the laundry.
What dirty sheets?
The ones you stuffed in your knapsack.
Huh? [pulls the string, and the bag opens to reveal the dirty sheets] Aaah! Ohhh! [falls down]
No starch, right?
[The sergeant crashes to the ground]
[in glorious 60fps] Don't worry, kids. It's almost over.
[The Warners land safely to the ground]
[dressed in a casual camping outfit] Come on, guys. Let's go camping. Build a campfire, make s'mores, sing songs. Come on.
[singing]
Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em over your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Do your ears hang low?
[Iris out, but Dot pushes it away]
[spoken; last lines] Camp is okay, but these pink boots are killing me. [lets go of the iris as the cartoon ends]
DotTress MacNeille · 109 quotes
WakkoJess Harnell · 106 quotes
SlappySherri Stoner · 45 quotes
SkippyNathan Ruegger · 27 quotes
SDr. Scratchansniff24 quotes
BBrain17 quotes
PPinky17 quotes
NNarrator15 quotes
TPThaddeus Plotz14 quotes
RitaBernadette Peters · 11 quotes
RuntFrank Welker · 8 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Animaniacs pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
