Scenes with Dot 107
And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!
DotAnd I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Balana - Oh, shoot!
[Yakko and Wakko laugh]
Dot
[holding up two fingers] Take two.
[Film whirs. Beep!]
And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!
Dot
And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Franchesca Banana Falana...Arrrgh!
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Banana Falana.
[laughing] Banana Falana!
Dot
Oh, thanks for your support, Mr. P Pop Into the Mic!
Oh, pooh! I never pop my P's!
Uh, Wakko? We got a big P pop on "pooh". Could we have that again?
Dot
Ha! [walks sideways]
[Film whirs. Beep!]
And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!
Dot
And I'm "Pincess"...DAAAAAAAAGH!
YWYakko and Wakko
Helloooo, Pincess! [laughing]
[laughing] Pincess, I love it!
Dot
Yeah, you try saying it sometime!
"Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bobesca the Third". [wags eyebrows]
Dot
Oh, thank you, Mr. United-States-Canada-Mexico-Panama. Big whoop. [to the camera] LET'S DO IT! [walks back]
[Film whirs. Beep!]
[tired] And now...the stars of our show...the Warners.
Dot
And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Fo Foo- STOP! WHY CAN'T I GET IT [BLEEP!] BY GDDITRBBIT [BLEEP!] WHY GOT TO STOP IT [BLEEP!] AUGH!
That's my cute little sister who said that! Goodnight, everybody! [Dot sits on a step] Let's wrap it up, okay?
Dot
Oh, get off my back! What do you want me to do?
Try memorizing your lines.
Dot
I was busy!
Another date with Brad Pitt?
Dot
Oh, and you should talk?
Hey, I can't help it if girls find me irresistable!
Dot
Yeah, until they learn you don't bathe!
[All Warner Siblings argue at once]
People, come on! Let's do this! Last take.
[Film whirs. Beep!]
[very tired] And now...the stars of our show...the Warners.
Dot
[slowly] And I am Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca the Third!
[Yakko and Wakko cheered as the balloons and confettis fall]
Your brother and I just couldn't be prouder!
Dot
[angry] Oh, dry up!
[offscreen] Let's move it along! Next line!
Dot
[reads the script] ...but you can call me "Dot"!
No time for that, we're moving ahead. [checks the script] Uhhhh...skip here.
Dot
Great! This village is so quaint, it makes me wanna break into a song!
Funny, I thought it breaks into a rash.
[The Warners are in the woods]
Come on! Let's go into that dark, spooky forest!
Well, if we don't, we'll find ourselves a fate worse than death.
Yep. Another song by Dot!
[Wakko screams in terror]
Dot
[annoyed] Hey, what is this, "Make Fun of Your Sister Day" on Animaniacs?!
[She and Yakko argue throughout the woods. Later in another side of the woods]
[looking at what is presumed to be a map] According to this, we've lost our way.
[Dot takes the map from wakko and looks at it]
This isn't a map, it's a flyer for the Republican Party!
I know. That's why we lost our way. As a country, I mean. [eats the map]
Dot
[more annoyed] Yeah, yeah. We get it. Can we please get on with this?! [another background setting of the castle drops] Thank you. [they walk up to the front doors of the castle] Maybe whoever lives here must tell us where we are.
[They're paralyzed as they see the shadow of Taz]
[After The Warner Siblings come in after the "Hi there!" bomb has blown up in Taz's face]
Ahh, you're Taz, aren't you?
["Taz-mania theme" plays in the background]
Could you do that thing, that funny thing that you do?
Uh...WAAGGHDEEDEEDEEDEEIGH!!!!!!
No, no, that's not it either. You know, the funny thing!
Dot
Can we finish this cartoon?
[After the "Be A Pest" song]
Oh, it's hopeless. You win. Come get kiss.
[Dot and Taz kiss. Taz slobbers her. magic appears offscreen. He spits her out]
Dot
Eugh! Do not go in there!
Dot
I am, but I'm not so sure about him.
PPrince
[now a prince again] Wow, am I ever cute!
GGirls
[appear] My! He's dreamy! Oh, my! He's so very handsome! My!
Dot
No way! I'm the only who's supposed to be cute on this show! [walks up to the Prince and kiss him]
[The Prince turns back into Taz]
GGirls
Eeeeeeeeeagh!!!! [run away]
OOOOOUUUAAAAGHDOOOUUAGHHHBLAGHBLIHGHTSFZABDHBTSPBPBPBPTHTHTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's it! That's the funny thing!
[The Warners laugh. Taz face palms himself. Fade to outside The Prince's castle]
Certain is what we are, of what you'll like the least,
Snails on your lawn, songs that go on and on,
Cutie and the Beast!
Snails on your lawn, songs that go on and on,
Cutie and the Beast!
To spell Santa's name is easy to do.
You write S-A-N-T and another "A", too.
But no "L", no "L", Santa's name has no "L".
And he won't be too pleased if you don't learn to spell.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch water from the well,
But when neither one could find it, Jill started to yell.
Dot
No well, no well, can't believe there's no well!
We walked all the way here and I'm mad can't you tell!
Captain Ahab took his crew his harpoon and set sail
And he called out to ships...
Have you seen the white whale?!
SSailors
No whale, no whale, no, we ain't seen no whale!
S1Sailor 1
Saw a couple of dolphins...
S2Sailor 2
And a big yellowtail!
If you've listened to this tune, then you probably can tell
That you've heard it before. It's a song you know well.
Know well, know well, it's a song you know well,
And we've ruined it completely, so we all say, "Oh, well."
Oh, well, oh, well, we'll just say fare thee well!
Merry Christmas to you and a joyous Noel!
Dot
We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did.
We're touched so you'll be touched.
["Animaniacs" theme plays in the background as the end credits begin]
Dot
Phew! Am I glad that's over!
Awh. I have a headache this big, and it's got Warner Bros. written all over it.
Dot
"Produced by..." Gimme a break. Bunch of over-paid, credit-grabbing, do-nothings.
"Written by"? Oh, now, there's a joke. You call the dreck they stick us with writing? Huh. Puhlease.
Dot
"The Great Stoneeni". Bah. Just once I'd like the guy to write a song in my key. Just once.
Like that would do any good!
Dot
Oh, yeah, it's all about you. That's right.
A voice director? Who's that?
Oh, you know, she the person who tells you to redo every line like fifty times.
Dot
Yeah. And faster.
[furious] Her? I hate her!
"Rob Paulsen as Yakko". Hmmf! Yeah, right.
Dot
"Tress MacNeille as Dot". As if.
"Jess Harnell as Wakko". I hear he's cute!
[sarcastic] Ooh, goodie. Here come the storyboard artists.
Besides drawing us off-model and taking three hour coffee breaks, not much.
Look at all those names. Who are all these people?
Dot
Oh my- unh. You know, they're artists, Wakko.
Dot
You might want to stop by the studio some time, you could meet a few of them.
I'm busy! "Executive in charge of Production"? What does that mean?
[slowly] Nobody really knows.
"Executive Producer - Steven Spielbrig"?
Nonononono - Steven...Springblush.
Dot
No, no - Springbile. No, Spriezlof... naw, Mr. Kate Capshaw.
Hey, you wanna go get a cappuccino?
Dot
Sure. Wakko, you coming?
When do you not have a date?
[angrily] I got a date! So, sue me!
Dot
She will! Hey - d-did you turn off the mikes?
N- [whispering] No, I thought you did!
Dot
Not me.
You're not gonna sing, are you?
For the sake of the show, no!
Hey, hey! Like you're Pavarotti? I'm outta here there.
Dot
But Grandmama Maple, what about my problem?!
You figure it out. Nothin' I'd say in this picture makes any sense anywhay. [leaves with Skippy]
JSJohn Smith
[arrives] Um, excuse me. [Dot turns around, does a wild take and bounce around the tree before landing flat on the stump] I'm sorry. Did I frighten you?
Dot
No, just overreacting.
JSJohn Smith
[holds out his hand] I'm John Smith.
Dot
Oh, I bet you tell that to all the hotel clerks. [pointing at John Smith's hand] What's that all about?
JSJohn Smith
A handshake is how we say, "Hello".
Dot
[smiling suggestively at him] Would you like to see how we do it?
Dot
Hellooooooooo, Mel! [kisses him]
JSJohn Smith
[wiping his mouth] Yuck! [sees Dot literally painting the forest and flowers] What are you doing?
Dot
Painting the colors of the passing wind.
[pops out of the bushes] Did you say "passing wind"?
Dot
[shakes Wakko] PLEASE! PLEASE, I BEG YOU! LET US NOT GO THERE!
[Beginning the episode, the Warners ran away from Ralph and they hid behind a wall to catch thier breath as Ralph passes by. That's when they see something]
Time-out! [ran into an ice cream shop and they sat down on the bar seats]
TIToby the Ice Cream Man
Hey hey, hi, kids! What will you guys have today?
The usual. Give us the mango, papaya, quince...
Coconut, persimmon, guava!
Dot
And avocado.
Big super duper triple malt shake!
Make mine stirred, not shaken.
Dot
Make mine not fat. Girl's got to watch her figure.
TIToby the Ice Cream Man
Coming right up! [starts scooping some ice cream and puts them in a milkshake cup and a machine stirs the ice cream; whistles the Pinky and the Brain Theme song while waiting; then pours the malt into three large cups and puts a straw in each of them with a straw; gives one to Yakko who drinks it, Then hands the others to Wakko and Dot]
Dot
[as Wakko starts drinking his milkshake] Are you going to drink that in one gulp?
Could be more than you can handle.
I'll take that as a challenge. [pushes Dot off of her seat] I've been doing this since I was a kid. [drinks his whole milkshake in one gulp and becomes bloated as he sits down in his seat; to Yakko] Told you!
[Yakko shrugs while drinking]
AAnnouncer
And now, Yakko Warner sings about time.
When you're traveling from Nantucket, through Chicago to St. Paul,
And you're standing at an airport. And you look upon the wall,
There's a clock for every city and a different time for all from Asia through Malaysia to Peru.
Did you ever wonder why that when it's 10:00 in Maine, at precisely the same moment, it is 3 AM in Spain?
When it's breakfast time in Rome, they're having lunch in the Ukraine,
And it's supper up in upper Kathmandu.
If the Earth were spinning faster as the sun is going past her,
Then a day would only be an hour long.
And school, when they begin it, would only last a minute,
Before everybody has to run along.
WDWakko and Dot
All right!
If the Earth were the planet that was closest to the sun,
A year would be much shorter and you'd have a lot of fun.
'Cause by the time you were in 1st grade, you'd be over 21.
And you'd live to be 900, 3 or 4.
Time is relative, dependent, you can save it,
You can spend it doing things you like to do or learning how.
You can't see it, you can't taste it.
Dot
But you certainly can waste it.
Which is really what we're doing here right now!
The international date line's an imaginary cleft.
Today is on the right side and tomorrow's on the left.
So when you cross it, do you then arrive the day before you left?
That's how it'd work, it's quite berserk, you see.
So if you were born in China, while I'm born in Carolina,
Well, then, you're a day ahead of me, you see.
So the way I've got it reckoned, if we're born in the same second,
Then why should you be a day older than me?
But it really is no miracle the difference in our birth.
Because the world is spherical, that's why around the Earth.
There's always different times for Moscow, London, Boston and Ft. Worth.
And that's the way it's always gonna be.
So remember, when you're traveling from Nantucket to St. Paul,
nd that airport as you're staring at those clocks upon the wall.
You should think about this song, my friend, and then you will recall.
That it was mildly amusing.
Dot
But then totally confusing.
And we bet you wish we hadn't sung at all!
Hey! Where is this Key West anyway?
Dot
And south of Tiki D.
There they are, sibs! The Florida Keys! Right between the Florida pocket lint and the Florida spare change.
[The plane does a nosedive and then, it stops a few feet in midair]
Dot
Outta gas.
[Dot knocks on the door]
EHErnest Hemingway
[falsetto voice] Who is it?
Dot
Push pin office supplies for...Mr. Ernest Hemingway.
EHErnest Hemingway
[falsetto voice] Mr. Hemingway isn't here right now. This is, um...Alice B. Toklas.
[sing-song] No you're not!
EHErnest Hemingway
[falsetto voice] Yes, I am.
[appear behind him] No you're not!
EHErnest Hemingway
[normal voice] Gah!
You can't fool us. Alice B. Toklas doesn't live here anymore.
[The Warners are on a boat at the sea]
Dot
[sees a message in a bottle bobbing up and down on the water] Look, a message in a bottle.
[Yakko grabs the bottle from the water]
Fan mail for some flounder?
No, it's from some entertainment lawyer. [to the viewers] We should have never stolen this bit.
Dot
At least we didn't steal this next cartoon.
[to Dot] That’s what you think.
[Dot laughs offscreen]
YWYakko and Wakko
Hello, Nurse!
Dot
I am NOT Trying to be annoying.
YWYakko and Wakko
[in Spanish accents] AI!
Dot
I act like a nut, so they call me Macadamia.
I dance like a klutz on a show called Animania.
Am I a cutie? Absolutie!
And a beauty, you can bet your patooty!
DMDot, Minerva Mink, and Hello Nurse
But if you touch me, or even get near me,
I'll have you arrested...Do you hear me?
Dot is a nut, so they call her Macadamia.
She's cracked in the head and kooky in the brainia.
Each line in this song sounds pretty much the same-ia.
Oy, Macadamia!
YWYakko and Wakko
[in Spanish accents]
¿Donde que vas a Lerendo Macadamia?
Hoia que paste le grande Crack O' Crania.
Qui a coupé le lege we abstaenia.
SHSlappy, Hello Nurse, Skippy, and Ralph
Oy, Macadamia!
[Wakko belches]
Dot
Now, please, don't mention my brother, the one they call Wakkorino!
[Wakko belches again. Overdubbed harmony plays in the background]
He's always burping every hour, so I threw him out of the tower!
[Wakko yells; laughs]
Now, come on! What did you want me to do? He was grossing me out! And I'm just a cute little thing, so don't cross me!
She's cracked like a nut, so they call her Macadamia.
Whenever she gets mad, you'll experience pania.
Cuts and bruises you will sustainia,
Oy, Macadamia!
YWYakko and Wakko
[in Spanish accents]
Lava tus manos, por favor, Macadamia.
The world is the goal for Pinky and the Brainia.
Dot
[in her Spanish accent] Otra vez on y vas the repetitive refrainia...
SHSlappy, Hello Nurse, Skippy, and Ralph
Oy, Macadamia!
[Break it down now!]
Dot
Don't hate me because I'm cute!
[Pesto beats up Squit]
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Oy, Macadamia!
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Oy, Macadamia!
[Dot laughs. Skippy laughs. Pinky laughs. Minerva Mink, Hello Nurse, Skippy, Pinky, and Dot laugh]
[spoken] I don't get it. What's the joke?
MMMinerva Mink, Hello Nurse, Skippy, Pinky, and Dot
Uh...
Dot
I'm a nut who's known as Macadamia.
But you can call me by my other nameia.
DMDot, Minerva Mink, and Hello Nurse
Louisa Francesa Banana Fana Bo Besca.
Dot
Or just plain "Dot", the name I flirt to.
But if you call me "Dottie", I'll have to hurt you!
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Oy, Macadamia!
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Oy, Macadamia Nuts!
What da ya know? We actually did it!
Dot
We wrote a script.
But we've still got a chance to get rich.
We've just gotta make that pitch.
To the CEO who gives the go.
Dot
'Cause he's the guy says yes or no.
To make it into a movie so you see!
Out the door, my friends and follow me!
We're on our way to go see Mr. Plotz,
'Cause he's the man in charge who calls the shots.
Dot
He's really good, he's Hollywood,
And no one can deny.
He knows the biz 'cause he's a whiz.
And that, my friends, is why.
We're on our way to go see Mr. Plotz.
Dot
I hear he's got a plane and several yachts.
'Cause he's successful; he's a genius,
He's the man who has it all.
Dot
Got a Bentley in his driveway.
And an Oscar on his wall.
He's the guy that Steven Spielberg wants to know.
CCrowd
He's Mr. Plotz, the Warner CEO.
The script is great real first rate
That is why we just can't wait
To hear him say it's all a go
To make it into a movie so.
CCrowd
They're on their way to go see Mr. Plotz,
'Cause he’s the king of all the movie lots.
He takes a lunch with Streisand and she always pays the bill,
Plays golf with Arnold Palmer, hired Cecil B. DeMille!
He even made money on a movie with Don Knotts, my hero!
That's why we're on our way to go see Mr.
YWYakko and Wakko
Warner Brothers.
Dot
And Warner Sister.
On our way to go see Mr. Plah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah...
Ready or not, here we come!
Gonna see Mr. Plotz!
[They stop to see other producers are waiting in line to see Plotz as well]
[to the viewers] So are the rest of people in town.
In Hollywood, they have a certain way they like to talk.
It's used by all those folks who can't chew gum and also walk.
It's found inside Variety, a movie magazine.
And everyone who reads it wonders what the headlines mean.
Like "Mitch makes a pitch, and he's gonna get rich"...
Means someone's got a movie that sold.
"Brando's mad, says the screenplay's bad"...
Means someone else was offered the role.
It's called Fargo Two with a story that's new"...
Means they're gonna shoot it all in LA.
"The budget got maxed, so someone got faxed"...
Everybody's on the carpet, so the writer got the axe.
Dot
Well, "Merchandise scores in the theme park stores"...
And Disney is the king of the hill.
Dot
"Michael Ovitz in talks with 20th Fox"...
Means he wants another ninety-three mil.
Dot
Or ya need the scoop...
On Hollywood Town this week...
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah, Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
"Studio bomb, gets Oscar nom"...
Dot
Means all the actors gotta be Brits.
"Bronfman's play for MCA"...
Means the Japanese are calling it quits.
"No scripts are new" means Jurassic Park 2...
Dot
And a trillion little dinosaur toys.
"The cash flows nice, they're releasin' it twice"
Since it isn't out on video, they're jackin' up the price.
Dot
Well, "Studio Czar wants unknown star"...
Means they couldn't get Robert Duvall.
But "They're in trouble again, doing Mice and Men"...
Dot
With Martin Short and Steven Seagal.
You gotta stay alive and if you wanna survive in Hollywood Town this week,
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah, Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Normal talk makes producers walk...
Dot
You might as well speak Greek.
You're gonna have to learn...
Or the meeting will adjourn...
Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety speak!
AAll
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah, bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Bop, doo, bop, doo, bop, doo, bah, dah!
Animaniacs · 261 quotes
