TV show quotes
The Marquis of Nuts!?
Yes!! But I didn't come alone! [shripp!]
[The turtle's head breaks, revealing the red squirrel obsessed with Jake]
Remember me, Jake?!
...Nope.
[The squirrel foams from its mouth and its pupils turn red]
WAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!
You stay here and take care of Donny, while I take care of a unknown possibly-deadly emergency.
(as Finn is walking off) Dude, trade me jobs!
Donny's problem is that he's treated as an outsider, like me!
You are NOT an outsider; you wear cute little blue shorts.
(Finn looks away, raising his hands) I... Am complicated...
Lisby, who's at the door?
Someone who wants to sack the nut-castle!
Why would you want to sack my nut-castle on my second son's first birthday? SEIZE HIM!!
No!
Hey Finn, I need you to strangle some pixies!
Yeah, sure. That sounds good.
Whoa, why are you being so casual about that? Killing pixies is some hardcore evil.
I'm not fallin' for your junk anymore, lady. You just like saying poop that jacks with my brain.
[Breaking] What are you talking about? I... [Laughs] Dang, man, I didn't think you'd ever catch on!
[Laughs] I knew it! Hey... what about your old henchman? Who was that guy?
Oh, just an old diving buddy. [Jake emerges from the bushes.] [Jokingly] So, you ready to go strangle some pixies?
Yeah, man! I mean, wo-man.
Whooo wants to play video gaa~mes?
BEEMO!!
What's on the menu, Beemo?
I've created a new game called "Conversation Parade."
Ha, alright! / Start it up, Beemo!
[singing] What do you think about the stars in the sky
S'okay, I guess.
Yeah, they're cool.
That is an interesting response. Battery low! SHUTDOWN.
Hello, Finn. I am awake and healthy.
Jake, what happened to your bombastic personality?
I do not know what you mean. I am perfectly bombastic.
Nah man, nah. Something's wrong. Tell me something amazing!
But Finn, I cannot tell you something amazing, as there is nothing amazing happening around us that I can describe for you.
Aw see man, you suck now!
So, what am I being charged with?
Um...
Five counts of jerk-a-tearing! Hah!
Yeah. What does it matter?
DAHH!!! Of course it matters!! The way it works is — first, I transgress your meaningless rules, and then you maliciously persecute me!
That makes sense. You do bad things, I punish you.
FOOL!! You have disrupted that order! For — are you ready for this? I have committed no RECENT CRIME!!
Really? Um...
[laughing] I'm rocking your worldview!
So let me get this straight... You're hitting on me.
NO!!
Usgisine. Dangsin-eun uli gongjunim-egeo malhal jagyeogdo eobsneun nom-iya. (Verily, you are a creature unworthy even of my lady's disdain.)
I think I heard the word "virile" in there. Oh, she's definitely hitting on me.
No! / Maldoandwae! (No way!)
BEGONE, YOU BIDDIES!!!
Man! I'm such a huge nerd for you! Please take on as hero apprentices!
What for?
So that we can learn to kick evil's butt, just like you!
[slides] I wanna be the dog version of you!
Aw, that would be waste of time.
Geez... I thought people would like that.
Why!? Why would anyone want that!?
So you can defend against evil monsters!
You're supposed to beat up monsters so we don't have to defend ourselves!
No, see? I'm helping you nonviolently!
Helping!? I can't even move my hands! I'm a cobbler, how'm I supposed to cobble with these useless chunk mitts!?
Wait, you were gonna wee-wee if I was the Gut Grinder?
Oh yeah! We're terrified of him!
THEN I AM THE GUT GRINDERRRR!!!
I'M GONNA WEE-WEE!!
[she sprays liquid out of her armpits and spins around, wailing. Finn and Jake laugh]
That guy wee-wees weird!
What if I am the Gut Grinder?
What!?
What if I'm.. like, stealing gold in my sleep?
You can't be stealing gold in your sleep! [dilates] I watch you while you sleep.
Wha? Yo Finn, that is creepy, man.
I can't help it. I take pictures.
Well, when do you sleep!?
Justice never sleeps.
Well, there's gotta be a time when you're not watchin' me... tha— that I— that I might be stealing gold unconsciously!
[into Jake's ear] YOU—ARE—NOT—THE—GUT—GRINDER!!
Marceline, if you're thinkin' about your dad so much, then... why don't you go see him?
He's not worth the effort.
Not worth what effort?
Well... first, I'd have to draw a circle with a happy face in the center, and then, ahh... douse it with bug milk.
Oh, yeah? [throws bug milk at the happy face, absorbing its contents into the symbol and lights dual candles]
[sigh] And then, you're supposed to chant something like, "Maloso vobis com et cum spiritum!"
Ha ha ha ha!
But... I-I don't really wanna see him. I'm still mad about the thing with the fries... Huh?
Ww-what?!
[the wall split in half a hellish fiery place beside Finn, seeing a shadow in the fire. The shadow then explodes bodily parts and forms a devilish figure in suit wear]
Marceline...
Finn, what the heck did you do?!
I... reunited you with your family?
MM!! [the figure seeps behind Finn]
Is this kid your evil servant?
I'm not evil, Marceline's Dad! I'm super good!
Super good? [he then grabs Finn and sucks his vital essence]
What are you doing?!
"Stealing your SOUL!!"
[he continues sucking Finn, screaming until Marceline pushes him away from her dad]
Dad! Ugh... You always do stuff like this!
[chuckles] Oh, Marceline. I never know what's gonna set you off. Waoh! [grabs her bass] Is this the family axe?
Huh? HEY!!
Did you turn it into some kind of lute?
GIVE IT BACK!! AND GET OUT!!!
'Kay. I'll go. I got business to attend to anyway, sucking up all the souls in Ooo...
Wha-i-i— No!!
See you kids later. [clutches door, smacks into Finn]
[Finn watches the cackling demon businessman walk out the door in pure shock and horror]
My bass!!
I've unleashed evil onto Ooo! We've gotta stop him, Marceline!
Fine, but I'm only coming with you to get my bass back.
Hey, how do I kill this guy, anyway?
Finn, you can't kill my dad!
Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean—
No, you literally can't kill my dad! He's deathless.
Oh...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Adventure Time pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
