FPFluffy Person
Huh? Who the fluff are you?
MSMarceline's Dad
Um... Well, I'm sure not the guy who's gonna suck out your soul.
FPFluffy Person
Good, cos that's like my number one fear!
MSMarceline's Dad
Really? Well, I know a little exercise for that. Wanna try it?
MSMarceline's Dad
First, close your eyes. [about to flat him with Marceline's ax bass]
FPFluffy Person
Okay—AHH!!!! YOU COULD'VE KILLED ME!!!
MSMarceline's Dad
Ahh, but I didn't. And now, aren't you thrilled just to be alive?
FPFluffy Person
Yeah, I guess — so what?
MSMarceline's Dad
So... this next part will be all the more horrifying.
Dude... Let's kill the horse.
No, man! We're not killing the horse!
Okay, we won't kill the horse. We'll dress him up like a bunny! Haha! And get a giant hawk — CAWWWH — to kill him!!
Ehh... [...] Did I say that the hawk would kill him? I meant that the hawk would swoop down gently and take him away to a land of sunshine and love stuff, and take care of him.
Whoa. That sounds awesome.
Wait a minute, Jake. Can't you see what this horse is doing? [beat] It's tearing us apart.
Aw man, you're right. We have to get rid of this horse! For us!
Oh, Finn... this horse is bringing us together now. [sheds tear] This horse is a blessing.
WHAT?!! Dude, you've lost it!
YOUUUU — wait, wait.... [hugs Finn] The horse is tearing us apart again..!
You're right. It's about time I show this horse [shoves Jake] who's the man.
What are you going to do?
What are you going to do?!
Do. Doo-doo. I'm gonna kick that horse in the bottom!
PPrincess
Save me, Finn and Jake!
PPrincess
Save me, Finn and Jake...
[...]
PPrincess
Save me, Finn and Jake...
Why does she keep saying that?
I think she's traumatised, dude.
NKNice King
The main enemy to the Nice King right now is the disorganisation of his love life.
NKNice King
The UGLY ones are all mixed up with the other ones!! I need you to catalog 'em, or something...
Tuhuhuh... But we punch monsters.
NKNice King
After I choose my BRIDE, then you can go punch the monsters.
Managing admirers? We'll give it a try...
Begone, ghost! I'm here for the armor!
GGhost
First, you have to beat my high score in a game of drop ball.
FJFinn and Jake
Drop ball?
GGhost
Drop ball is an extremely addictive high-intensity game designed for people everywhere. Here, let me show ya.
[drops the ball under him, twists, bends down and picks it up with his butt]
GGhost
One point... two points... three points....
Choose Goose! I need more armor!
CGChoose Goose
I got something for you, a metal shoe! Don't you know might stub your toe? [all knights laugh]
K1Knight 1
Stub your toe..!
No, Choose Goose... I need—
CGChoose Goose
Look here hon, choose this one to protect your buns! [laughing harder]
K2Knight 2
PROTECT HIS BUTT!! PROTECT HIS BUTT!!!
No, Choose Goose... I want....
CGChoose Goose
Don't be meek! What if you fall down and scrape your cheek?
K3Knight 3
LOOK AT HIS BUTT!!! LOOK AT HIS BUTT!!!!
Jake, Jake! Check it out! This true story is going to totally cure you.
First, the leaf fell off a tree. Oh, but — wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
The snail was on the leaf! [long beat] ..The end. [Jake then starts to recoil]
Oh, no... Now I feel a thousand times worse! Finn, a story's got to have excitement, romance, [pulls his cheeks] suspe-e-e-e-ense... and it has to have a happy ending. [sniffles]
But... I don't know how to make that stuff happen.
That's okay, buddy. Just... dig me a hole, then. Actually, two holes — one for my guts and one for my face, 'cause when I die, my guts are gonna blow out of my face!!
I am not gonna let that happen, dude!
Then go get me that story. [hands him a piece of paper] And make sure it has all the stuff on this list.
I'll be back as fast as I can! [runs off] I won't let your guts blow out of your face!
FFox
[beat] Would you eat dirt?
I would for Jake! [munches mouthful, gulps and spitting everywhere] Okay, now you guys kiss!
BBoobafina
Man, what a freak.
WHAT!?! No! Jake needs this!! Stop!! [grabs them both] Rrrh! Just come on..!
[...]
BBoobafina
[spatting] Ah- can't- believe you made me do that..! I'm secretly in love with Mr. Goose... And now he'll never love me because now I'm soiled...!!
TBTeenage Bear
I've been waiting for this my whole life. [sneaks up on Finn]
MBMama Bear
[to Teenage Bear] Oh no, you don't! [slaps him in the face]
TBTeenage Bear
You never let me do anything!
[strikes Teenage Bear with his sword, and Teenage Bear falls to the ground]
MBMama Bear
[to Finn] You killed him!
TBTeenage Bear
[to Mama Bear] Mom, quit touching me!
SSnorlock
Talking to ladies is hard.
No, it's not! Check it out, Snorlock! Finn, you be the guy snail, and I'll be... [morphs into a female snail] the chick snail.
Come on, man, we're just pretending. Do it for love.
[Finn looks down at Snorlock whimpering and wheezing]
Okay... I'll do it for this guy. [Snorlock gasps] Ahem... What's up, lady snail?
[high-pitched voice] Well, I'm just sitting here thinking about mating with snails.
..NO!! I can't do this, man!! I am out!! [turns away from Jake]
SSnorlock
I'll mate with you!
We're just role playing, buddy.
Here, Finn. This time you be the chick and I'll be the snail dude.
[Jake morphs his chick snail physique to a more muscular build, flexing his huge pecks]
...Uh— [Jake grabs his hand] wha?!
Mm-mm! [sniffs Finn's hand] Mm-mmm! [deep voice] Girrrl, you smell gooood. Did you take a bath in rainbows and cupcakes?
[Finn looks terrified with his lips wiggling]
[morphs male to female snail back and forth] Say yes. Say yes! Say yes. Say yes! Say yes. Say yes! Say yes. Say yes!
See, Snorlock? Talking to ladies is easy. Just act like me.
Huh? [a hand removes potato bag off his head, spits out a potato] Untie me so I can beat you with that sack! [the man reveals himself; he gasps] You're that—
MMan
Yes, the charismatic stranger from last night! Also... [reveals to be three tiny people] the grandmaster of the gnomes!
GGnomes
Hup! Hup! Hup! [more gnomes circle around Finn]
GGGrandmaster Gnome
And... ruler of the Beneathaverse! [spotlight illuminates and reveals a large underground chamber with large machinery]
S'pretty nice. Hey, why don't you guys just untie me, and we can pretend this whole thing didn't happen.
GGGrandmaster Gnome
Oh, no. I've been searching all over Ooo for the ultimate power source—a living dynamo, something that... never slows down.
GGGrandmaster Gnome
And last night, I finally found—
GGGrandmaster Gnome
Yes, it's you!! You will have the great honor of powering the Upturn Overdrive!
GGGrandmaster Gnome
It will flip over the entire world!! Then we'll be the ones on top, buddy!
GGGrandmaster Gnome
Yes, but the engineering is very sound. [a group of gnomes carry up Finn]
GGGrandmaster Gnome
Your energies will be harnessed by our most advanced technology—the Cyclonic Rodentarod!
Ha! You may have captured me... Hugh! [hops over his bound wrists] —but you can't make me run! [gets shocked by a gnome with an electroprod; runs pacily] Ow!! Well... you can't make me run very fast. [gets shocked again, runs faster] Ow!! Jake's on his way to mess you guys—BWAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Fiiiinnn[pause]Fiiinnn,man where is that kid.Hold my sandwich BMO l gonna go find Finn
PGParty God
Jake... you have won my favor for being a completely off-the-hook party dog! AROWHH!!
PGParty God
And because your gut waves please me so, I will grant you one wish. What do you want most in the world?
What do I want most? [chuckles, pauses] ..What do I want most in the world? Well... I wish Finn would stop leavin' his dirty— [gasps] FIIINN!!!! I was on his trail, and then I... got distracted!! GAAAH!! What's wrong with my brain?! Cinnamon Bun was right! I can't focus on NOTHIN'!! Party God, I wish that I could focus on finding my friend Finn!
PGParty God
[inhales sharply] Then your wish is my—
Wait!! Wait... Is there some kinda catch?
PGParty God
Uh... y-y-yes. Y-You got me. To grant your wish, I will have to fill you with the energy of a thousand partying demons. You will become so overloaded with party energy that you'll demolish everything in your path!! [blasts Jake with a beam from his mouth]
Must... find... Finn! Must... MUST... PARTY FOREVERRR!!!
