Adventure Time quotes

Geez, you couldn't wait two seconds?

Ech... Why are you stinkin' up our house?

Didn't you get my text? It said I'm stayin' with you guys— [takes out banana phone with Gunter keychain] oh, didn't go through. Well, anyways, I knew you wouldn't mind since it's sorta your fault I'm homeless, right? [searches duffle bag]

Right.

'Cause you tricked your crazy ex into melting my Ice Kingdom?

Mm-hmm...

With your lies and secrets? 'Member when that happened?

Dude, you can't stay here if you're gonna stank it up with your bad vibes, man! [Ice King sprays air freshener, Finn and Jake cough]

Yeah, I'm just crashing here while the penguins rebuild. I've given Gunter temporary reign.

[see Gunter, wearing Ice King's crown, constructing ice structures]

Should be fine.

Flame Princess isn't crazy.

You're blind, Finn. You're blind! Wait, she isn't here, is she?

No.

Whew!

She said she wanted time to herself. [walks out]

Yeesh!

Yeah. Breakups are tough.

Heh. Yeah, like remember how you and I were married?

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I am ready to receive instruction from the realm of creation above me for the sandwich I am about to conceive. I am open. Use me.

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[Jake begins to take a bite of his sandwich, Magic Man suddenly pops out of nowhere. He gasps]

Magic Man!

Magic Dog! I'll take some sandwich.

You stay away from my woman... eh, my sandwich!

Hmm, yeah, I could do that. Or... wait. Wait! [conjures a small portal and takes sandwich from Jake]

[gasps] Sandwiche! Mijo! Magic Man!! My sandwich!!

That's a good-looking sandwich.

What're you gonna do with it?! Something gross?! [Magic Man breathes on the sandwich]

It's got my germs, so it's mine now.

NOOOO!! Rah!! [stretches his arms at Magic Man, he casts a spell back]

Dead arms! [Jake's arms limp on the floor; he struggles]

Give it back, you animal!

Look, if you really want your sandwich, you'll have to solve my little riddle. [punches clock, moves hands] When your face shows 7:20, when green leaves turn brown, the only way forward is down. Then you'll see, the wetter, the better.

That's not even a riddle! It's wordplay, at best!

You try and come up with something on the spot! It's hard! [makes a portal and slaps Jake's face through it] Now to savor the moment.

[he crashes backwards through the wall, falling down]

It's just you and me, baby.

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[running into Magic Man's time sphere, Jake imagines Mr. Cupcake flirting with a widowed Lady Rainicorn]

Hey, Mr. Cupcake, you stay away [starts slowing down] from Lady!

[offscreen] No, man! Stay sad! Make yourself sad!

Uhh... [he imagines Mr. Cupcake at his grave]

CMr. Cupcake

I-I love you, Jake. We should have hung out more.

What? Um... I love you too, Mr. Cupcake. I-I didn't want to hang because I thought Lady was into your muscles. And I thought if we'd hung out, you'd sweet-talk her and take her from me.

CMr. Cupcake

What?! I would never! I've got so much respect for you.

Dude, I have so much respect for you! I try to be like you in some aspects of my life! Look, if something were to happen to me, and I wasn't here anymore, I'd want you to take care of Lady and the kids.

CMr. Cupcake

That means so much to me. [crying, cradles his gravestone] I wish we had more time together.

[tearing up] Me... too! [sobbing hysterically, starts running closer to Magic Man]

Yeah, Jake! The wetter, the better! Keep crying!!

I'm sorry, Mr. Cupcake!!

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Yo, bro, you're sleepwalking again! Wake up! [whacks Finn awake]

Whoa! Jake? Was I...?

Yes, Finn. Again. Every time, youse is screaming about "she's got me!" and all that.

She's got... what?

Wait, you don't remember? You just woke up, man! Recall it, baby! Come on! [Finn grunts, punches his temples] That's too much. Don't punch yourself.

[sighs] It's gone, I don't know.

Haah... [holds Finn] You're repressing the memory, dude.

I'm what?

You're hiding whatever she is in a mental vault.

Oh yeah, the vault. That's where the stuff I can't handle goes. Kerplunk!

Okay, so you even know you're doing it.

Yeah! [chuckles]

Listen, we gotta find out who this lady is. Gotta open the vault a little.

No, sir.

It's just gonna keep happening, man!

It's all right. I'm not hurting anybody.

Finn, for reals.

[shivering] Nooooo!!

All right! Chill, chill! Don't sweat it, man. It's not even a thing.

..Cool.

Why don't you clean up the kitchen now?

Okay. I'm sorry I did that.

It's alright. It's only, like, the fifth room you've train-wrecked this month.

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SPSlime Princess

[in a private room] This is not going well.

I'm sorry, Slime Princess. I'm just going to mess this next trial up.

SPSlime Princess

Is it because you haven't done much kissing? You don't have to be embarrassed by your innocence.

Pretending to be love is making me sad. It makes me think about Flame Princess.

SPSlime Princess

What if I pretend to be your ex?

That's worse, I think.

SPSlime Princess

Well, it looks like I'm losing my kingdom to the forces of evil.

[sighs] No, Slime Princess. Let's practice this smooch.

[he walks to Slime Princess and lifts her up in his hands. They both start to smooch each other but Finn gags up and vomits instead]

I'm sorry... I-I can't! [puts Slime Princess down, grumbles] Bunk this! [runs off]

SPSlime Princess

Wait! Where are you going?

I'm going to punch Guillermo in his stupid face 'til he agrees to leave the kingdom!

SPSlime Princess

I want to come!

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[taking a walk] What is the meaning of soup?

What? I don't know. What's with all the weird quest—?

What is the meaning of spoon?

Shoot, man. Are you still lady-sad about Flame Princess? Y'know, it's okay if you are.

Nah, that's all fine. I've just been feeling kinda... gray is all. Like my inside voice has been kinda quiet lately—not a lot of instructions forthcoming, you know?

Yeah, well, sounds like you're sad. Listen, Finn. Girls is like horses—when you fall down, it's important that you get right back on again, on a different horse. And there's a lot of fish in the sea, a lot of fish. A penny saved is a penny earned.

Yeah, I-I guess. Or maybe dating girls is like riding a bicycle...

Yeah, man, yeah!

Where, like, if you mess up, you can get really hurt forever or hurt someone you really care about.

Uh... well, I suppose.

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[as Jake plays video game] Why do you hate cats, Jake?

Move your face, you're messing up the game! Anyway, I don't wanna talk about it. It's personal. Cats know what they did. [he then shudders and starts screaming]

Is Jake okay? [Jake whines horribly]

No!! I'm pretty dang far from okay! There's a little shard of tortilla chip caught between my teeth. [groans]

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[Jake tries licking his teeth to get the tortilla chip out]

Get big and the chip will fall out of your teeth.

Ha! You think I can stretch out of everything? You're so naive. To live life, you need problems.