(sighs) Jake, I don't want to hurt you, but you should know things get crazy when I'm hungry.
I'm gonna go into feral mode. Oh, it's not gonna be pretty. [Jake whimpers, eats his cookie] I know! Let's tie me up. That way, you won't be scared.
And that will keep you from draining my bloods?
Not physically, no, but as a prop, I think it'll be good for both of us. You know, psychologically.
[gulps, whispers] Hurry, Finn...
Get me a bucket of lava, Jake...
Hey, you know better than that!
(Jake stares fearfully at Marceline.)
(nervously) Don't go crazy, okay?
Oh, why did you leave me alone here, dude?
Oh, my glob, oh, my glob, where are you, man? Marcy's wigging out!
I can smell your insides, Jake. They smell...(sniffs) ...RED!!
Yeah, let me see in there!
Hey, Simon, how would you like to stay in the coolest hotel?
Lumpy Space Princess stays there! That's how cool it is!
We'll even put you up for a few weeks until your place is ready.
Ah, but that sounds lonely. I'd just like to stay here with you guys. Having roommates is nice. Keeps me out of my head. Gunther only says "Wenk". What's up with that?
[chuckles nervously] Yeah. [Jake drags him away to the kitchen]
Finn, I'm ready to murder the Ice King.
No... uh, I have another idea.
[FInn and Jake jumps downstairs to see a black-skinned demon holding Ice King and Abracadaniel by their necks]
KOKee Oth
Joshua! [Finn and Jake walk to Kee Oth saying "Kee Oth Rama Pan..."] Don't say another word, Joshua, or their throats are going to get it! If you speak the words to banish me, I'll reduce your friends to ash.
[pause] Kee Oth Rama P— [Finn covers his mouth]
KOKee Oth
I'm not bluffing, Joshua! If you do not willingly return my stolen blood, I will destroy him and him! [Finn and Jake run towards the demon-blood sword's holder]
Scary! [Finn takes the sword]
I just can't do it, Jake. This is Dad's sword!
You don't have any other choice! Do it!
KOKee Oth
Do it!! [Finn's eyes water; breaks the sword in half using his knee. Blood-red mist rises from the pieces]
[Finn and Jake then wave the blood-red mist to Kee Oth. He drops Ice King and Abracadaniel. He becomes red and much bigger]
You got your blood. Now get outta here!
KOKee Oth
All right, I'll go. Psych! Got you now, Joshua!
[Kee Oth catches Jake in his right hand. He starts cackling and vanishes with Jake being engulfed in fire. Finn drops down on his knees while Abracadaniel and Ice King scratch their heads]
AAbracadaniel
Uh, hey... so, uh, I should be getting home.
Uh, yeah, me, too. Hey, Abracadaniel, you wanna hang out at my place?
AAbracadaniel
I thought your house broke.
Psh! Ice Kingdom's been rebuilt for weeks. [they both leave; Finn is shellshocked with his broken sword in his hands]
Thanks for bringing us along on the trip, Peebs.
Yeah. It's unfortunate we can't enjoy some of these cool things we're passing by, but I guess we could do that the next time we're in the Desert of Wonders, whenever that is!
We're on a mission to collect samples only. I want to start colonizing this area by the end of the year.
Those goo monsters will barf their way through the hull in mere minutes. Finn, what should we do?
Uh... let's radio for help.
Good idea, but looks like the radio's kaplowed.
JJames
[whirs] I can fix that radio. Mrow-row-row! Pling! [pulls out a coin] With this! It's a lucky coin! Bam! [places coin on radio] When I bust out my coin, great stuff happens, like when I was chosen to go on this mission with you guys! Hee-hee-hee-hee! [Jake grumbles uncomfortably, enlarges his head and shouts]
JAMES, THAT'S NOT HELPING!!!
Yes. James is very resourceful. He'll work it out.
[James keeps making mechanical noises fiddling the radio with his coin; he turns a screw with the coin]
JJames
Look, Princess! I invented a coin-operated coin screwdrive-e-er!
See what I mean? [gives thumbs up] Good job, James. Come on, guys. Let's take inventory of the emergency gear. [James opens radio]
JJames
Lucky coin strikes again!
[meets Jake in the back room with Bubblegum] You want to do this trust-huddle style, buddy?
Mm. [the three form a huddle]
So, what's all the hubbub?
What's up with that James dude?
Yeah. Do you think James could be breaking things on purpose?
No. James wouldn't do that.
Wake up! Dude's a saboteur.
JJames
[in the huddle] What's not James? [beat] I got lonely up front. I wanted to see what y'all are up to.
Hey, that gives me an idea.
JJames
Me too! Vrrt! [laughs] Just kidding! I don't have any ideas.
[Root Beer Guy follows Finn and Jake into the Pudding's Hardware store; he comes to the store owner]
PMr. Pudding
Oh, you can just call me Buck.
BBuck
No need to be formal here, son.
Th-those guys were just in here, can you tell me what they bought?
BBuck
Well, let's see. A shovel, a saw, some plastic bags, some duct tape, a bludgeon, a mop, rubber gloves.
[as Buck finishes, RBG holds the pack of matches out of his pocket reading "Greetings from Beautiful Lake Butterscotch"]
Say, Mister... Buck, do you know anything about this Lake Butterscotch?
BBuck
A right nice spot, Lake Butterscotch. Miles from where anyone can hear a person scream, if a person was screaming for some reason. Creepy now that I think about it. Nothing up there these days but some abandoned caverns. Nice place to hide a body if you're into that sort of thing. [RBG runs offscreen to a truck] Son, now, what are you doin' in my pickup truck?
[Gunter guides Marceline, Finn and Jake to Simon in his ice laboratory]
Marceline! [she flies down to him and embrace each other]
I thought I'd never see you again.
I can hardly believe it myself. You're all grown up.
Believe? She's like a million years old.
One million years?! How can it be?!
He's just kidding. I'm only a thousand.
Do you remember anything when you were the Ice King?
Nothing specific, just dream-like impressions.
Do you still have impressions from all the times you flip your bricks?
[Betty and Simon fly the magic carpet heading for Wizard City]
I am getting on... the death bus! [Death appears to be driving on an invisible bus seat]
DDeath
I got you in my sights, Simon! [cackling]
It's my time, Betty! I don't want to be the Ice King again! It's like living with eternal diaper butt, I can't do it!
Not forever! Destroying Bella Noche and getting your powers back will buy me time to find a loophole that'll undo your curse and your death. I can do it, you got to believe me, Simon! [Simon starts crying tears]
DDeath
Get real, man. You're gonna be the Ice King 'til the sun blows up. This is your one chance. I made a mixtape for the ride, "Summer Jams 3".
If I don't let her try, then what am I? What am us?
DDeath
Uh, fair enough. See you in a few.
[Lumpy Space Princess eavesdrops under Jake's chair seeing Bubblegum's time bubble, throws Jake up high flying across the room]
Take me back to when my ex-boyfriend Brad loved me!! [gets in time bubble]
LSP, that's not how it works. It can only rearrange your molecules into a previously logged formation, and you need these gloves.
[hushed] ..Give them to me.
You witch! Give them to me now!! [pounds table]
No, I'm sorry, but you need to pull yourself toge— [LSP jumps on her to the floor]
You skunk! [starts ripping off PB's hair] You skunk, you skunk!! You pretty skunk!! You don't know heartache, with the whole Candy Kingdom in love with your pretty Bubblegum buns!! [Bubblegum hits LSP with her tiara, knocks into a bookshelf] Glob! [pants as peeved Bubblegum stands up with Jake watching]
Hear me, Lumpy Space Princess. I will avoid declaring war on the entirety of Lumpy Space, ruled by your parents, if you apologize to me immediately! [LSP gets up]
I'm sorry-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y... [floats toward the door] I'm sorry you're so [quietly] stupid. [slams door]
JPJake/Punchbowl
Whoa!! [both laughing]
"In conclusion, no one needs to come here ever, especially Lemonhope and I ate my brother, goodbye!"
[LG's body ruptures even more worser and LG 2 comes out]
L2Lemongrab 2
"SAVE US, LEMONHOPE!!! YOU'RE OUR ONLY LEMONHO—"
PPhlannel
Morning, Lemonhope! Hey, is there any more white coal down in the hold? [pulls bucket full of steaming hot black diamonds] More black diamonds equals more love potions. The old three Rs, you know what I'm saying? "R-R-Romance." [chuckles] Oh, man, I can't wait for some lo-o-ove. It's been so lo— [drops bucket] whoops! Oh, rats. Oh, well. [looks to Lemonhope] Hey, don't sweat it, buddy. It wasn't your fault.
LLemonhope
I-It's not that, Phlannel. I-I had a bad dream.
PPhlannel
Again? That's the third time this week.
LLemonhope
[sighs] I'm free now, Phlannel, to do all whatevs I ever wanted, but all I think about is my old life. What does it mean?
PPhlannel
Well, it's true you are free—free to help the Lemon People or leave them be. But a deft unpaid is not easily forgotten, so you are a prisoner still... in deinem kopf.
LLemonhope
Huh. That's what Mistress always said, and I didn't even listen.
PPhlannel
Ah, Lemonhope, you're a doer, not a listener. You learn with your hands and heart, not your head. So, what will you do, Lemonhope?
LLemonhope
I'll... I'll-I'll go back and... I'll help my people... and maybe I'll feel better.
PPhlannel
[laughs joyfully] And how will you do it?
LLemonhope
Um, with my harp and... m-my flute! A-and help from my friend Phlannel!
PPhlannel
Ah, little Lemonhope. Of course I'll take you as far as I can, but I can't interfere directly in Lemongrab politics. All those old pacts and treaties have me sklonked up tighter than a synethic zanoit sterilzer bed compressor tube enlarger on garbage day.
