Lola Martinez quotes from Zoey 101

Lola

You know, most girls' biggest problems with their roommate is they borrow their clothes without asking. I've got one who loses rats, shoots me in the head with plasma bolts, and fills my room with homemade nerve gas.

Quinn

...Thanks...

Lola

Which, apparently, doesn't work too well.

Quinn

Oh! Why isn't he unconscious?!

Lola

I'm gonna go get some coffee. [she leaves]

Quinn

[to the rat] Don't you feel lightheaded?! Drowsy?! ...Oh, you are smarter than I am.

Quinn

Who cares? I've gotta go prove to my rat that no rodent can outsmart Quinn Pensky. Are ya ready for me, rat? Are you ready for a piece of Quinn?!

Chase

She's not dating Logan, okay? I've known her since the first day she came here to PCA and I know she'd never date a jerk like Logan!

Lola

He's one of your best friends!!

Chase

Which is how I know he's a jerk!

Lola

Aw, don't feel so bad.

Quinn

How can I not? I've been intellectually bested by an animal with a brain the size of a raisin. He won, I lost.

Lola

I don't even think the rat knew he was in a competition.

Quinn

I thought Chase was over Zoey!

Lola

So did I.

Chase

What do you mean? There was no two year crush on Zoey! Right, Michael?

Michael

(sarcastic) Yes, there was no crush, you silly people.

Lola

(to Chase about Zoey and Logan) Why do you care so much about this?

Chase

Because I'm a caring person, see?!?! (makes caring face)

Michael

Hey, hey, hey! There is nothing funny about a young man with a scooter caught in his pants!

Lola

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes, there is.

Zoey

There really is.

Quinn

How'd it happen?

Michael

[to Zoey] It's her fault!

Zoey

How's it my fault?!

Michael

You went and got me all excited about Lisa, then I got nervous!

Lola

You like Lisa? Aw, how cute!

Michael

Oh, it is NOT cute! I can't even talk to the girl without something like this happening!

Lola

Awwwww.

Quinn

Now, tell us who's blackmailing Zoey or Princess Ablangada's gonna take a bath.

A bath?

Quinn

In chloropeptic acid!

You can't do that! She's in her original packaging! (Lola turns the chair he is tied in to face Quinn and her acid) NO!!!!!

Lola

If you want to save the princess, then you'd better tell us who's blackmailing Zoey.

Quinn

Help her, Firewire. You're her only hope.

Zoey

(to Rebecca) Why? What did I ever do to you?

Rebecca

You made Chase break up with me.

Lola

No, she didn’t.

Quinn

Chase broke up with you because you're a bucket of nuts.

Lola

[imitating Thatcher] "You are not to tamper with this machine."

Quinn

"Unless you want detention."

Quinn

We're gonna get your arm out of that thing.

Lola

And finally, get my reduced fat Doodlecake out of there.

Quinn

Will you forget about the Doodlecake?!

Lola

Um, NEVER!

Chase

Hey, could you guys quiet it down a little bit?

Michael

I'm trying! This thing won't... it won't stop!

Chase

Okay, that's it! You people .are too loud! [he takes his computer and starts to leave]

Lola

Oh, wait! Happy birthday!

Chase

BLAH! [he walks out]

Quinn

He doesn't seem too happy for a birthday boy.

Logan

STOP IT! Stop it right now! [everyone else turns to him] I can't take being locked in a room with a bunch of insane freaks! [they look at him, dumbfounded] Yeah, I called you freaks!

Lola

WE'RE freaks?! You're the one who's sitting there, [her voice gets quieter] staring at yourself in the mirror! [Logan looks at her] You're the one who's sitting there- [she puts her hand near her throat] ...My voice! I lost my voice! [everyone cheers except her]

Chase

All RIGHT!

Logan

YES, about time!

Lola

You're all so mean! [cries]

Chase

You people are disturbed!

Lola

Pretty much.

Lola

(in British accent) Oh, look, it's my gorgeous roommate, Zoey Brooks, with a bottle of Blix in her hand.

Zoey

...Should I call the campus psychologist?

Lola

(talking to Gene on the phone) Hey, Gene! You wanna be in the dance contest with my friend, Zoey? She's cute and boyfriendless!

Zoey

You're such an idiot. (takes the phone out of Lola's hand)