Zoey Brooks quotes from Zoey 101

Chase

What's up with all the items?

Zoey

Quinn's gonna be our new roommate for a while.

Chase

Oh, oh! (sees that Quinn is looking at him) Oh! Heh, how nice! For all of you!

Zoey

Umm, Quinn? Listen, since we're gonna be living together for a while, maybe we should go over a few... you know... rules.

Lola

Yeah, like? No poison chemicals...

Zoey

No nuclear experiments...

Lola

No genetic mutations...

Zoey

No cloning us without our permission... [Quinn picks up a jar with some green goo]

Lola

And...no that!

Zoey

Whatever that is...

Quinn

Geez, are we gonna have ANY fun?

Zoey

In love with me?! Chase?!

Lola

(sarcastic) No, me. Marry me, Zoey. Please be my wife!

Zoey

Me and Chase are just friends! Fa-riends!

Lola

And you're Fa-Crazy!

Quinn

She threatened you? Oh, that's all I needed to hear! (takes out a laser gun type thing) I'll be back in ten minutes!

Zoey

No, no, no! Just put that down.

Lola

Okay, what did Rebecca say exactly?

Zoey

I don't know. Something like I better leave Chase alone and stay out of her way!

Lola

That's so nervy!

Zoey

I know! What am I gonna do? (Quinn picks up the laser gun thing) Put it down!

Quinn

(about Rebecca) I don't like her!

Lola

What's to like?

Zoey

You guys don't even know her.

Quinn

We don't have to know her.

Lola

You're our friend, we can just automatically hate her.

Chase

Rebecca has a big problem with you and me being friends.

Zoey

I know.

Chase

She said... You know?

Zoey

Yeah, she came to my room and told me to stay away from you.

Chase

She sorta said the same thing to me today.

Zoey

Did you explain to her that we're just friends?

Chase

Yeah.

Zoey

And she said?

Chase

That if I wanted her to be my girlfriend I can't... Hang out with you anymore or talk to you.

Zoey

Okay, I get it. Look, the most important thing to me is that you're happy.

Chase

Me too so... I dumped her!

Zoey

Good, that little skunkbag.

Chase

...Zoey Brooks! Such language!

Zoey

Well, she was horrible!

Chase

Yeah, I kinda figured that out. (Zoey throws a grape at Chase) What was that for?

Zoey

For making me think you weren't going to be my friend any more.

Chase

I said I dumped her, didn't I?

Michael

So, Zoey just walked right in?

Chase

Right in.

Michael

She should have knocked first.

Chase

Yeah, that would have been nice.

Michael

And you're sure Zoey saw you and Rebecca kiss?...

Zoey

Oh, yeah. They were kissing.

Lola

Are you a thousand percent sure they were kissing?

Zoey

Either that or Chase was trying to suck the teeth out of her mouth...

Michael

So, you just stopped kissing, looked up and there was Zoey standing right there in the doorway?

Chase

Yep...

Michael

Harsh!

Chase

Yeah, it wasn't the most comfortable moment of my life.

Logan

So what did you say?...

Zoey

He said, "This is Rebecca, my girlfriend".

Lola

You sure he said, "Girlfriend'?

Quinn

Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe he said... 'Grillfriend'?

Zoey

Grillfriend?

Quinn

Yeah, you know maybe they just cook things together... Outdoors...

Zoey

What is that?

Quinn

Why is our dorm adviser rolling on the ground?

Lola

Coco! Are you okay?

Coco

Do I look okay? I'm a woman on the concrete.

Zoey

Did Carl break up with you again? (Coco continues sobbing and screaming)

Lola

I think Carl broke up with her again.

Quinn

Come on, let's get her up. (Zoey, Lola, and Quinn try to pick up Coco)

Coco

No, no! Just leave me here to die. (Zoey and Quinn pick her up and drag her away) My cell phone! (Lola gets the cell phone)

Coco

I can't believe he dumped me over the phone!

Zoey

But he always dumps you over the phone.

Lola

Yeah, like every three weeks!

Coco

Oh, God! What is that?

Quinn

We're really sorry.

Zoey

But we gotta go start our homework.

Coco

I just don't understand guys. First, they tell you that they love you. Then, they tell you that you're too clingy and needy and, man, I'm hungry. I mean, I know I can be moody and bloated and judgmental and I may not bathe as much as other girls, but I'm fun to be with, right? RIGHT?! (Coco keeps sobbing.) Oh, man, there's a hair on my honeydew. (picks up honeydew, removes hair, and puts honeydew in her mouth. Zoey drops her food that she was about to eat in disgust)

Zoey

Can I say something?

Chase

Sure.

Zoey

(stands up and shouts out) I hate chemistry! Hate it! I just wanna make that clear.

Chase

Have a French fry, it'll calm you right down.

Zoey

No thanks, I'm already full. And what happened to all your talking about eating healthier food?

Chase

What? The French fry, made by the potato, a vegetable! Dipped in ketchup, made from the tomato - also a vegetable! (Stifles laugh when Zoey is eating a French fry)

Zoey

What?

Chase

You chew funny.

Zoey

(Drops the fry on Chase's tray) Goodbye. (Walks Away)

Chase

I mean good funny!

Zoey

Let’s shake on it.

Logan

Or we could kiss on it? (Zoey slaps him) We'll shake on it.

Oh, Zoey, you're good friends with Chase... Is his hair naturally that way or is it a perm?

Zoey

Uhh.. It's natural.

Zoey

Logan?! (about being her tutor)

Logan

Like I'm thrilled about this. (being Zoey's tutor)

Zoey

(to her chemistry teacher) Logan doesn't know anything about chemistry! Logan doesn't know anything about anything!

Logan

Listen, I told Chase about me and you.

Zoey

What? I thought we decided we should keep it a secret.

Logan

I know, but he's my friend. You mad?

Zoey

No. I hate that I have to keep lying to Lola and Quinn.

Logan

Yeah, we shouldn't have to keep secrets from our friends.

Zoey

I know, it's just Chemistry.

Logan

Yeah, chemistry, which we have together.

Chase

(comes out of bush) Alright! I've heard enough!

Zoey

Chase!

Logan

Chase! What were you doing in that bush?!

Chase

Hearing everything!

Zoey

Look, I wanted to tell you, but I was embarrassed!

Chase

You should be embarrassed! I mean, LOGAN!

Zoey

Yeah, but he's taught me so much.

Chase

Oh, God!

Zoey

It's true. I mean, he really knows the stuff.

Chase

(stomps off) Oh! Oh! Ugh! Oh, God!