Zoey Brooks quotes from Zoey 101

Zoey

(to Logan) Are you sure you gave the taxi driver the right directions?

Logan

Mystic Beach is exactly 57 miles north of PCA.

Dustin

No, Mystic Beach is south of PCA!

Zoey

Dustin, are you sure?

Dustin

Who are you going to trust: me or pretty boy?

Dustin

Will you tell me where babies come from?

Zoey

Absolutely not.

Chase

Hey, Zoey! You look great!

Zoey

You too! (she stops for a bit and looks at him again) Did your hair get bushier?

Chase

I've heard that.

Zoey

(angrily) You're unbelievable!

Logan

Thank you.

Chase

Zoey?

Zoey

Don't "Zoey" me.

Lola

Give us back our foosball ball!

Zoey

Wouldn't you just call it a foosball?

Lola

No, foosball's the name of the game, so you call the ball a foosball ball.

Zoey

Mm, maybe, but I still think you would...

Chase

I'll tell you what, why don't we just call it a foosball ball ball ball ball ball? I've gotta speak with Zoey.

Lola

Well.

Zoey

Are you trying to scare them to death?

Logan

Yeah, pretty much.

Chase

(trying to scare Zoey and Nicole) Blah!

Zoey

Oh, hi, Chase!

Nicole

Hi, Chase!

Chase

What, you weren't scared?

Zoey

Why would we be scared of a magician?

Chase

A magician? No, no. I'm a vampire!

Logan

Hey, Mr. Magic!

Chase

I am a vampire! You guys wanna see my receipt for the costume?

Zoey

(pulling the door) It's locked!

Chase

What d'ya mean it's locked?

Zoey

What d'ya mean what do I mean? When I say it's locked, it's locked. How many definitions of locked are there?

Logan

(on television) Hello, my name is Logan Reese.

Zoey

I'm Zoey Brooks.

Logan

Today we're gonna talk about some interesting topics. First: Girls in sports. Now, I think it's fine if girls wanna have their own little sports teams, but they should not be allowed to play on the guys teams! Zoey?

Zoey

Yeah, you're right...

Logan

Huh?

Zoey

I said, "You're right"!

Logan

Okay... Let's move on to our next topic then... Oh, yeah. Ordering at restaurants. I say girls take way too much time to order food. (with a girly voice) "Uh, I'm a girl. I'll have a chopped salad, but I want the lettuce on the side!" Guys are just like "Give me a cheeseburger!" End of story! Zoey?

Zoey

I agree...

Logan

Okay... For our next topic, let's talk about... Eating kittens! I feel people should eat more kittens! Eating little kitty cats for breakfast! Do you agree with that Zoey, hmm?

Chase

(on the Chase and Michael show) Would a woman make a better President of the United States than a man?

Logan

Absolutely not!

Zoey

You're an idiot!

Logan

A woman can not be President of the United States!

Zoey

Name one reason!

Logan

Because girls are too emotional! Everytime she gets a pimple, she'll cry and start a war with Switzerland!

Zoey

Maybe we should to prove to Chase and Logan that guys can be just guys even when girls are around.

Lola

How are we gonna do that?

Zoey

By being around them when they don't know we're around them?

Nicole

But if we are around them trying to prove it, we'll be around them, and we're girls, so they'll be around girls when we're trying to-

Lola

Maybe you should let Zoey talk.

Zoey

I'm saying what if one of us pretends to be a guy?

Nicole

Ok, 4 problems with that: hair, face, boobs.

Lola

That's 3 problems.

Nicole

2 boobs.

Zoey

We can get around those problems.

Lola

It would be the ultimate acting challenge.

Chase

Zoey! Would you rather...be stuck in an elevator for three days, or...make out with a monkey?

Zoey

Stuck in an elevator. I ain't kissing a monkey!

Chase

Baby.

Zoey

Let's see you kiss a monkey!

Chase

Bring me a monkey.

Zoey

Maybe I will!

Zoey

Look, we all feel bad enough about the fire!

Feeling bad doesn't fill my gut with raw fish, now does it, cupcake?! I am TICKED OFF!

Chase

Have you ever thought about an anger management class?

That's it, Matthews. You just got yourself a slice of revenge pie!

Michael

Don't you think you're being a little hard on the boy?

You too, Starky! Revenge pie!

Logan

Did Quinn just walk past here with an alpaca?

Zoey

Yeah, she sure did.

Logan

Weird.

Nicole

Okay, did Michael just run by here wearing a bikini top?

Lola

And a hula skirt?

Chase

Uh-huh.

Logan

He did.

Zoey

Weirder.