Zoey Brooks quotes from Zoey 101

Quinn

(scans bear) That jerk!

Zoey

What?

Quinn

Let's go!

Zoey

Well?

Quinn

That bear is broadcasting both audio and visual transmissions via broadband wavelengths to a remote digital receiver!

Nicole

I knew it! What does that mean?

Zoey

In English?

Quinn

There's a webcam in that bear!

Nicole

I knew it! Wait, I still don't know what that means.

Zoey

Did you have anything to do with it?

Chase

Uh, come in?

Zoey

Did you put a camera in a bear?

Chase

I don't think so, seeing as I don't have a camera... or a bear.

Zoey

Chase.

Chase

Will you just tell me what's going on here?

Zoey

That bear you and Logan gave us, it's got a webcam in it.

Chase

What?!

Zoey

Don't act like you don't know.

Chase

I'm not acting. Zoey.

Zoey

Where's Logan's computer?

Chase

Over there.

Zoey

Hey, sushi's here!

Nicole

Thanks, Chase, we love the free sushi!

Chase

Look, girls, I don't know if I can keep hooking you up with all this free sushi. I think my boss is starting to get a little suspicious.

Zoey

Kazu?

Chase

Yeah, so listen, if anybody asks, just say...

Kazu

Aha! I knew it!

Chase

Kazu!

Kazu

You've been stealing all my sushi and giving it to these girls!

Chase

Uh, no, no, that's... that's not true.

Kazu

Yes, it is! I'm going to tell the Dean. And then you will be... And then you will be...

Zoey

Quinn, next card!

Kazu

Expelled! You will be expelled!

Chase

Expelled?!

Kazu

You're going to prison!

Nicole

No!

Zoey

I'm sorry, I panicked!

Chase

He's out cold.

Zoey

Oh, no, now, we're all gonna get expelled!

Chase

No, nobody's getting expelled!

Nicole

But he's gonna wake up eventually and tell the Dean what happened!

Chase

Yes, that's why we have to get rid of him!

Zoey

Let's tie him up and shove him in the closet!

Chase

Right! Then, late tonight, when everyone's asleep, we hot wire his car, and put Kazu in the trunk!

Zoey

We'll drive him... to Mexico!

Logan

Did she say, "Mexico"?

Michael

Si!

Nicole

But what if the Dean finds out?

Zoey

She has a point.

Chase

Hey... he didn't see who hit him!

Zoey

Right! We'll blame it all on... on... Logan!

Logan

Me?!

Chase

Okay! We'll blame the whole thing on Logan! Stealing the sushi, knocking out Kazu, everything!

Logan

They're gonna blame everything on me!

Michael

I heard.

Zoey

Okay, quick, let's tie up Kazu and shove him in the closet.

Nicole

I got the duct tape!

Logan

I gotta do something!

Michael

Ok, you go get the Dean.

Logan

I'm not gonna let Chase and those crazy girls frame me.

Michael

You go get em, man.

Chase

You gotta hide Elvis.

Nicole

Who's Elvis?

Chase

Our dog!

Zoey

Doesn't PCA have a rule against pets?

Chase

Yeah, that's why we've been hiding him in our room.

Michael

But our DA smelled a dog!

Chase

DA, short for Dorm Adviser.

Zoey

I know.

Chase

OK...that's short for okay

Zoey

Stop it!

Michael

Well, anyway, our DA's getting all suspicious.

Chase

(To Zoey) Everyone gets hurt sometimes. You've never been hurt?

Zoey

No, not by a big, dumb bully.

Chase

Well, then, maybe it's time. (he starts giving her noogies) Oh, yeah, that's right. She's in trouble now, give me your lunch money.

Zoey

Quit it!

Chase

Give me your lunch money or I'll.... (Zoey bites his arm) Oww, did you bite me?

Zoey

Maybe.

Chase

Oh, it's on.

Chase

You're fast!

Zoey

Maybe you're just slow.

Chase

Harsh.

Close the door and sit down. I am very upset with you, Mr. Finch.

You're not the principal.

No back sass!

Who are you?

I happen to be the Dean of Discipline.

Dean of--

Stop speaking!

OK.

I understand you've been harassing some of the younger students. Is that correct?

Well, I--

Don't even think about lying!

Yeah, I guess I have.

You guess?!

Yes!

Yes what? Come on, say it, Finch. Tell me!

I-I-I pick on people.

You mean you used to?

Huh?

If I ever hear of you bothering any student on the PCA campus, especially younger ones, I'll expel you faster then pigtails on a giraffe! Do you understand me?!?!

Yes, sir, except for the giraffe part.

Get out!

Yes sir!

Zoey

Herb, you were great!

Chase

Yeah, I was outside and you had me shaking!

Really, I was good!

Zoey

Are you kidding me?

Chase

That was the best acting any janitor has ever done!

Now if you'll excuse me there is a clogged toilet in the gym calling my name.

Zoey

Chase, thank you so much!

Chase

It’s okay, but, actually, it wasn’t me.

Zoey

Michael?

Michael

Not me.

Zoey

Then who was it? (Chase and Michael point to Logan) Logan? Why would you want to keep me at PCA?

Logan

If you weren't around, who else would I pick on?

Nicole

(crying) But this is the best school ever! They have a pool, cute boys, a beach across the street, and cute boys!

Zoey

I bet there are cute boys back in your school in Kansas.

Nicole

No, they're all dumb and gross.

Zoey

Hey, Quinn, did you hear the news? This is our last semester here.

Quinn

Can't talk. Plotting revenge.

Nicole

I'm going to miss her freakish ways. (cries again)

Zoey

Aw, it's a bunny with a PCA shirt on!

Logan

Chase picked it out.

Chase

Why do you tell people?

Zoey

(on the phone to Chase) Chase, you rock!

Chase

(to Michael) I rock!

Michael

You´re OK.

Nicole

You're just jealous because my dad owns a juice company!

Dana

What?!

Zoey

What?!

Nicole

I didn't know what to say!

Zoey

Well, tell him money doesn't give him the right to push people around.

Chase

I did.

Zoey

And?

Chase

He gave me 50 bucks to shut up.

Logan

Or I could give you a ride, maybe we could go to the beach and make out a little.

Zoey

You know, I would, but it's so hard for a girl to kiss a guy while she's vomiting.

Chase

It's true. It happened to me once.

Nicole

He really is awesome?

Chase

(sarcastically) Yeah, Logan's fantastic, just fantastic. Isn't he fantastic?

Zoey

I don't see why you have to pick on him all the time. Logan's not such a bad guy.

Nicole

Ooh. She's starting to like him.

Dana

Ya think?

Chase

What?! That's insane! It's insane, right Zoey?

Zoey

Yeah, I mean...

Chase

You mean what?

Zoey

I don't know. Maybe, I do like him...

Chase

Okay. I got to go.

Zoey

Where are you going?

Chase

To take a bath. What difference does it make?