Justin quotes from You Can't Do That on Television

Attention. Can anyone tell me what the three B's [underlines a "B" on the chalkboard] are? [Brodie raises his hand] Brodie?

The Boss, The Beatles, and The Beach Boys.

No, it's Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult, and the B-52s.

No, no, how classless of you two. Everyone knows that the three B's are Beethoven, Bach, and Brahms.

Wrong. You're all wrong. The three B's are the worker, the drone, and the queen bee. This is a science class, you forgot. You kids have nothing but music on your minds. [The kids begin humming in unison]

Show and tell next week, and we will feature collections. Oh, and by the way, you will each have ten minutes.

Alright! I collect insects!

I collect coins.

(surprised) Oh, um, I have to collect my thoughts.

Your thoughts, Lisa? What are you going to do during the other nine and a half minutes?

Must drive you crazy having to torture kids all day long.

And you know, kid, sometimes it does get to me.

Well, why don't you take up a pastime of some sort?

I had one. Oh, I loved it. I used to hunt wolves but I had to give it up.

Well, why? What happened?

It was becoming addictive.

Addictive? How could hunting wolves be addictive?

Well, I was up to two packs a day. [laughs] Hey, either you laugh or you hang here for the rest of your life.

Alasdair, if you had to describe today's politicians in one word, what would it be?

How about "unethical"?

Close, but not quite.

How about "unscrupulous"?

Even worse.

Even worse... how about "slimy"?

I said "slimy", not "slime me", you idiot!

Justin! You ate all the pancakes!

I was hungry. Next time don't get up so late.

"Next" time? What about this time?! I was all set to come in here and pour the syrup over a big stack of hot pancakes!

Well, find something else to pour your syrup over.

[Laughing] All right, I will.

Justin, is that what they call "Sweet Revenge"?

[Tasting the syrup] Guess so.

Oh, sandwich again? Boring. What have you got?

I got year old bread with green meat, sour milk, and frankfurter bits in green Jell-o.

Oh, gross!

Justin, never tell your mother she looks good in wrinkles.

Hey, what's up, Justin?

My stupid sister and her stupid friends are having a stupid slumber party. They've taken over the whole house, I can't even get into my own room.

It's pretty bad. I say you take revenge out on them, like putting itching powder in their sleeping bags.

I would never do something as juvenile and mature as that.

[laughing] Besides, frogs work much better!