Brodie quotes from You Can't Do That on Television

They think with all these jokes about washrooms, I'm going to be dumb enough to mention water? Well, I'm NOT! ... Oh, no... I just did!

That's not fair!

Oh, yes it is. You guys wanted to do the links just like me! Well, that's what happens to me every week - sometimes TWICE.

Now that was truly not fair!

[Sees Christine standing above him on a ladder, holding a bucket of slime] What are you doing up there, Moose?

Well, I'm just standing here with this bucket full of coagulating green slime, waiting for you to say the magic words so I can dump it all over you.

What magic words?

The magic words, "I don't know"! ... Oops, I didn't say that, did I? Oh no...

That's not fair! I didn't - I - I - I...

I wonder what he's thinking about, anyway.

I don't know, but he's probably thinking about where he left his pants.

Ready, aim-- Oh, come on! Stop your shivering and get shot like a man.

I'm cold.

Oh, alright. I'll give you my coat you wimp! (places his coat on Brodie) Come on, put your hand in there. Get the other hand in there. Come on. Alright. Ready, aim... (Brodie shivers) What's the matter?

I'm still cold.

Alright, I tell you what, you go over there and get warm by the fire. (El Capitan is shot) That is one sneaky kid! (collapses)

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Don't damage the machine!

But Blip, I just put a quarter in and it doesn't work!

Put in another quarter.

[kicking machine] It STILL doesn't work!

Don't kick the machine! I know it doesn't work. There's a new city bylaw that says you kids can't play video games anymore.

But you took my fifty cents.

The bylaw doesn't say anything about taking kids' money!

So you took my money and you did nothing in return?

What's new about that? The government does it all the time. Ask your dad. [shuffles off, laughing]

Attention. Can anyone tell me what the three B's [underlines a "B" on the chalkboard] are? [Brodie raises his hand] Brodie?

The Boss, The Beatles, and The Beach Boys.

No, it's Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult, and the B-52s.

No, no, how classless of you two. Everyone knows that the three B's are Beethoven, Bach, and Brahms.

Wrong. You're all wrong. The three B's are the worker, the drone, and the queen bee. This is a science class, you forgot. You kids have nothing but music on your minds. [The kids begin humming in unison]