Will & Grace · Season 11
Thank you so much for seeing me again, Headmistress Hinderhagen.
Of course.
I know how important diversity is to this school.
It is. And your child would be diverse, how exactly?
I'm just gonna bottom-line it: I don't know who the father is. So, girl to girl, tell me what diversity you're looking for, because I've probably slept with it.
I think you're having a panic attack. I get them all the time, like during a power outage, or when my mom sends her dogs after me. It's my fault - you shouldn't assume you're invited to Thanksgiving.
I can't die in coach! They'll find my body with the poors, all mixed in with the Tater Tots and the Crocs!
Karen, can you hear me? I just got in the locker room, and I gotta say, it's pretty cool. The bats and the balls and the cute, sweaty guys... throw in a bathtub full of poppers and a famous Scientologist, and it's every gay club in the 80s.
Oh, my God - you don't want a designer, you want my baby!
Well, maybe if you don't over-react, they'll want both.
C'mon, I know just the place. Let's go.
Fine. I can't wait to see what filthy, depraved hellhole you're taking me to.
As long as there's a drag queen calling out Bingo numbers, I'm happy.
I am so, so sorry.
No, I'm sorry. I got angry with you, but you were right, it was just an accident. So, I'm here to say... can we try again?
[aghast] What? Are you out of your mind? I slept with your son and your father, and you forgave me. I pooped your apartment to death, and you forgave me. But now I violated a porpoise, got you fired, and ended a species!
And I forgive you.
[she slaps him]
What is wrong with you?
I think I'm falling for you!
Well, raise your standards, man! I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I can't be with someone who has such terrible taste in women.
Will, this is for you. [hands him a bottle of wine] Karen told me you were a big, bold, complex guy - like this Cabernet.
Don't forget fruity and gives you a headache.
And Grace. [hands her a bouquet of flowers] Here's something beautiful and delicate, like yourself.
Don't forget slightly wilted and covered in bees.
Honey, thank God you called!
Karen, what's wrong?
I don't know where I am! It's so dark. I think I hear a seagull, and a foghorn...
Karen, hang on!
We're going to trace this call.
Ha-ha, busted! Leave a message! [phone message beeps]
I fell for that yesterday.
So, I'll get right to it, Mr. McFarland - how do you plan on keeping an iconic institution like CoCo's open without Coco?
Oh, they'll still come. I'm not changing anything. We're just under new management. The bar is transitioning - like half our patrons.
[offended] Do you think people who are transitioning are funny?
Oh, God, no! They have no sense of humor!
Why would Phil go through all this? That's what I don't get.
The money. They're always after the money.
Yeah, but he's so handsome, though. You'd think he could get money out of women without killing them. I mean, that body, after 40... I'd give him my debit card.
Once again, it's my mother's birthday, and I have no idea what to get her.
Just don't try to be cute. One year, I told my mother I was her gift, and she asked if I came with a receipt.
You thought that was cute?
I've gotta get my ring back. Stan gave it to me the night we bought our first election.
Good morning. Welcome to our gender reveal breakfast. It's a big moment. We are one prick away from finding out on of the most important...
Yeah, can we move this along? Lots to do today.
Sorry, we are two pricks away from finding out.
Hello, this is Grace Adler. I'm a patient of Dr. Sapirstein's and I'm calling to find out the gender of my baby.
Yeah, you're gonna wanna check between the legs. If it's an outie, it's a boy. If it's an innie, it's a girl. And if it's both, please take a picture and send it to me - I've always wanted to see one of those.
No, I'm pregnant.
Okay, well then, you're a girl. Does that help?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Will & Grace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
