Grace Adler quotes from Will & Grace

Grace

Just F.Y.I. The first three letters in "assistant" spell "ass," so please get off yours.

Grace

You know, I thought I knew everything about you. But you're a mystery. Wrapped in a riddle. Surrounded by enigma. Growing boobies.

Grace

[to the maid] At least Mary Poppins did it with a song and a dance -- you're like a spoonful of whoopass!

Grace

[to the maid] You know, Mary Poppins got the same message across, but she did it in a nice little musical number. You're like...you're like a spoonful of whoop-ass!

Grace

Isn't it amazing, Val? Will is a guy, and yet he can achieve multiple sarcasm.

Grace

Well, if no one wants to play with me, then I'm just going to go to my room and play with myself. By myself. I meant by myself.

Grace

Your lips can go from here [points to Will's lips] to HERE! [points to her butt]

Grace

Jack, this isn't going to be as hard as you think. On some level, your mother has to know your gay. I mean, she has met you, right?

Grace

[to Will] My love for you is like this scar. Ugly, but permanent.

Grace

Sumner, hi. If you're looking for your Aunt Karen, she's not here. She doesn't work on days that end with... "day."

Grace

[sobbing] I feel like I'm in The Twilight Zone. And all the people are pigs. And I'm the pretty one, but everyone thinks I'm ugly because they're all pigs and they think pigs are pretty!

Grace

[Points at Karen's pin] I see they're finally giving out medals for evil.

Grace

This is me as a little girl. Look at that big, goofy smile. STUPID IDIOT, OPEN YOUR EYES, NO ONE'S EVER GONNA LOVE YOU!!

Grace

Look, I'm sorry I'm not as strong as you all. I wish that I were. But I'm not. Will, your lover of 7 years left you and you have to live everyday knowing that he's out there loving someone else. I couldn't do that. I would die. And Karen, your husband is in prison. The rock of your life, and you don't know when you're going to see him again. If I were you, I'd be a total wreck. And Jack, you're so resilient, you're a 32 year old actor/singer who gets involved in a million different relationships, and never gets invested in any of them. I wish that I could do that, but I can't. I'm not like any of you. I just handle things differently, so please, just let me go back to bed, and deal with things the only way I know how.

Grace

If you were any gayer, you'd be Elton John's fanny pack.