Jack McFarland quotes from Will & Grace

Jack

Hmm, let's take a look at a little clip from when it was still the "Michael and Will Show"... before it was canceled. "Will, can I change your throw pillows?" "No!" "Will, can I put my sweaters on your shelf?" "No!" "Will, can anyone live with a control freak nightmare like you? I'm gonna say 'no.'"

Jack

I... love this dog! We totally bonded. We just sat there together in the park. He checked out butts. I checked out butts.

Jack

So what's cookin,' average lookin'?

Jack

Homo skinny is not the same as hetero skinny. You're not in the club - you wouldn't understand.

Jack

Give me one good reason that a man can't go out in a nice pillbox hat. [puts on hat and looks at himself in the mirror] Hello, reason. Oh, my God, there are actually pills in here!

Jack

Oh my God, I love TV. Buffy is my life! I'm so into Willow being a lez.

Jack

Hey friends, lovers, mothers and other strangers! You are never going to believe what happened to me. [trips] Oh, my God, did you see that? I almost did a half-nelson. I almost bruised my delicates, my delicates, my domo arigatos, mister tomatoes. Huge news! I have met -- are you ready for this? Mister Right. Well, Mister Right Now anyway, ba-dum-dum. Goodnight folks, I'm here all week! Jack 2000! He works over at the Jumpin' Java. You know, that coffee shop over on 72nd, and his name is Paul, and he is cute with a capital Q! And the busier it gets, the hotter he gets; and the hotter he gets, the sweatier he gets; and the sweatier he gets... I forgot where I am going with this, but the point is, me likey he and he likey me, and the best part is -- shazam! He gives me free ice coffee every time I go in, which is every hour on the hour and, thank you very much, and occasionally on the half hour. Ba-da-da-da-da-da! [blows raspberry]

Jack

Ring... Hello? What's that? I'm bored? Thanks for calling, bye bye

Jack

I want to show them I'm sincere, but I haven't gotten that far in my acting class. We're still on "learning how to listen"...which I don't know how to do, so I just open my eyes really wide and nod.

Jack

Thrilled to be here. Love you. Love everything about you. Thinking about being you for Halloween.

Jack

I couldn't help overhearing... because I was standing here listening.

Jack

Wow. Elliot has two gay parents. That's like... every kid's dream.

Jack

Oh, look! My ride's here, and it's a huff! I believe I'll leave in it!

Jack

Sex is a drug, Karen. I should know; I'm a licensed dealer.

Jack

I don't know how much longer I can live with Will. Every time I get in the shower with him, he's like "Jack, get the hell out of here!"