Karen Walker quotes from Will & Grace

Karen

You know, marriage is... what? Marriage is... Marriage is, okay? What the hell, that's all you need to... Grace? Oh! Now she's gone. She's gone, and I'm sitting here talking to myself like a crazy person. Oh, my God, listen to me. I'm still doing it!

Karen

Grace, desperate times call for desperate measures. It's time to get your head out of the dumps and your legs in the air!

Karen

[On the phone] Rosario. Hi, honey. Listen, I'm running a little late. Yeah, things are muy loco at the oficina. Mmm, listen, I'm gonna need you to feed the kids and read 'em something before bedtime... Well, I don't know, honey. Why don't you read them that book they love? "Green Eggs and I'm Hammered." No, Rosario, now why would I want to speak to them?

Karen

Grace, the bitch we hate is on line one.

Karen

Stan had to take the kids down to Scarsdale to see their real mother. What was her name? Wait a minute, it'll come to me... "Stan, take the kids to see that bitch... Kathy!"

Karen

[to Jack] Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and sometimes bad things happen to you.

Karen

Honey, Stan can't make it. He's having some work done on his Mercedes. Or his... kidneys... I wasn't really paying attention.

Karen

They're trying to make gay people straight! Good Lord, don't they know what that'll do to the Fall line?

Karen

Sorry, fruit, you're out of the loop.

Karen

Honey, love you like a cold sore!

Karen

Honey, I thought we talked about the beret. Patty Hearst couldn't even pull it off, and she had money and a gun.

Karen

HEY, PREGGO, WHAT? YOU NEVER SEEN HERPES BEFORE?

Karen

Don't worry, Jackie, I'll kick coffee too! I'll just have to get used to drinking my Bailey's straight. It'll still be the best part of waking up!

Karen

Honey, how can you drink straight orange juice first thing in the morning?

Karen

He's my nephew, and I love him like a son of a bitch! And I mean that literally. Stan's sister's a bitch.