Will Truman quotes from Will & Grace

Will

Gay ferrets to the waiting area. Gay ferrets to the waiting area.

Will

I'd try to appeal to you as a smart gay man, but, ironically, that would be fruitless.

Will

[toasting] Here's to you, Joe — we hardly knew ye. [pause] In fact, we didn't know ye at all.

Will

Jack, this isn't like the pound, where you can take home the one that wags his tail at you... Or some gay bar where you can... take home the one that wags his tail at you.

Will

Fixing up my dad's girlfriend? Nice. What's next, a cruise with the Korean woman my uncle fathered a child with during the war?

Will

So, Karen, on this, the centennial of your birth, Jack wants me to wish you a happy birthday. I hope all your wishes come true. And when you do become Satan's mistress, don't you forget the little people.

Will

Hey, that guy looks suspicious. He's in a gay bar eating a hot dog without any irony.

Will

I love the opera. Getting dressed up, hanging out with fabulous people, drinking champagne. If it weren't for the damn music, it'd be a perfect evening.

Will

Barry, it's okay that you didn't like The Broken Hearts Club or Kiss Me, Guido. I'll tell a little secret we like to keep in the community: Gay movies suck. But, until the laws change, we're still obligated to see them.

Will

I don't know. Gay guys and sing-alongs? It's all a little obvious, don't you think? I don't want to act like a stereotype. [takes a sip of milk, spits it out] This is whole milk. I just drank whole milk! Great, now I'm fat, and I'll never find love!

Will

This is so annoying. Another kid, another gift. I'm so tired of rewarding straight couples for not wearing a condom.

Will

For me, my coming out was pretty typical. My mom cried, my dad drank, and my grandmother got rabies. Unrelated, but just a rough weekend all around.

Will

Karen, can you hear me? I just got in the locker room, and I gotta say, it's pretty cool. The bats and the balls and the cute, sweaty guys... throw in a bathtub full of poppers and a famous Scientologist, and it's every gay club in the 80s.

Jack

FYI, folks, most people that meet me do not know that I am gay.

Will

Jack, blind and deaf people know you're gay. Dead people know you're gay.

Will

$2900 for a loft in Noho... $2300 for a loft in Soho...

Grace

That's too much money to pay for any... ho.

Will

OK, here: charming one-bedroom, Chelsea-adjacent, well-maintained, $1500. Sounds great.

Grace

OK, let me decode: "Charming"? Tiny. "Chelsea-adjacent"? New Jersey. "Well-maintained"? Super washes blood off sidewalk daily.