FYI, folks, most people that meet me do not know that I am gay.
Jack, blind and deaf people know you're gay. Dead people know you're gay.
S1 E1Pilot
You know, marriage is... what? Marriage is... Marriage is, okay? What the hell, that's all you need to... Grace? Oh! Now she's gone. She's gone, and I'm sitting here talking to myself like a crazy person. Oh, my God, listen to me. I'm still doing it!
S1 E2A New Lease on Life
Can you please fax this application over to the realtor?
Oh, honey. Machinery. No.
Karen, I'm not gonna marry someone just because I want a nice apartment.
Um... yes. That- that would be wrong.
It would be settling. I want to marry "the one."
And well you should, honey. How else are you gonna get to the two and the three?
[Will and Grace are looking at apartments]
$2900 for a loft in Noho... $2300 for a loft in Soho...
That's too much money to pay for any... ho.
OK, here: charming one-bedroom, Chelsea-adjacent, well-maintained, $1500. Sounds great.
OK, let me decode: "Charming"? Tiny. "Chelsea-adjacent"? New Jersey. "Well-maintained"? Super washes blood off sidewalk daily.
S1 E3Head Case
Hmm, let's take a look at a little clip from when it was still the "Michael and Will Show"... before it was canceled. "Will, can I change your throw pillows?" "No!" "Will, can I put my sweaters on your shelf?" "No!" "Will, can anyone live with a control freak nightmare like you? I'm gonna say 'no.'"
Just F.Y.I. The first three letters in "assistant" spell "ass," so please get off yours.
S1 E4Between a Rock and Harlin's Place
So I've decided to take my career in a whole new direction.
Forward?
What are you talking about? You're not a performer.
I am now. Me, a piano and a spotlight. I'm calling it "Just Jack." Here's my flyer. "Just Jack." One night only. "Just Jack."
Why one night? Oh, it's open mic night.
Bring Grace...or a date. Ha ha, I'm just kidding.
[reads flyer] "A roller-coaster ride of emotions." Who said that?
A critic...OK, my shrink.
S1 E5Boo! Humbug
Honey, I can't go. I have a home, a husband and three beautiful stepchil -- No, wait. Two. Two beautiful stepchildren. Sorry. Yeah. Olivia and...
Mason?
Honey, I was getting there.
Well, look at you. You're like an icon to gay men.
Oh!
You've got the sass, the class, the ass.
Ooh, I want a drag name!
DQDrag Queen
It's simple, sugar. You take the name of your first pet, and the street you grew up on.
Shu—Shu Fontana! Jack, what would yours be?
Glen 125th.
S1 E6William, Tell
You know, I thought I knew everything about you. But you're a mystery. Wrapped in a riddle. Surrounded by enigma. Growing boobies.
[Jack comes in dressed as an alien.]
sherif , after closer examination, I believe I have identified the lifeform as ... gaylien.
We come in peace. Please do not rearrange our furniture.
What could it be, that he didn't tell you and he didn't tell me? It must be something he didn't want us to to know!
Good work, Nancy Drew! Let's meet up at Old Mystery Creek!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Will & Grace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.