[to Will] My love for you is like this scar. Ugly, but permanent.
S3 E1New Will City
Last night in bed I called Josh "Ben". To cover I stretched it out into "Bend over"...and I ended up doing something I never wanna do again.
Good thing Ben's name isn't "Pee-Wee".
S3 E2Fear and Clothing
Did I just scream like a woman?
Don't flatter yourself. You scream like a girl.
Can you imagine if whoever it was had actually gotten in? He probably would've made me rub lotion all over myself so he could make a prairie skirt out of my skin. Karen, I have never been more terrified in my entire life.
Oh, honey. Stan bought me a 7-karat ruby on our trip to Paris last year.
What does that have to do with the break-in?
Nothing, honey. I thought we were just swapping stories. Jeez, Louise! Didn't realize it was "All about Grace" day.
S3 E3Husbands and Trophy Wives
[Will and Jack are going to what they think will be a weekend of debauchery]
It's been so many years. I hope I can still pull off a thong.
Isn't the whole point of these weekends to pull off someone else's?
[to bartender] Ah, Smitty. Why is there is so much pain in the world? So much cruelty? Can you tell me that, Smitty?
BBartender
My name is not Smitty.
I don't need your life story, nose hair, just fill 'er up!
S3 E4Girl Trouble
GGillian
And, honey? That color doesn't even look good on an orange, okay?
I'd try to appeal to you as a smart gay man, but, ironically, that would be fruitless.
Honey, I thought we talked about the beret. Patty Hearst couldn't even pull it off, and she had money and a gun.
S3 E5Grace 0, Jack 2000
I'm a little nervous. I'm breaking up with Ben tonight.
What's the matter, he's not gay?
[Jack is performing his new cabaret act, "Jack 2000"]
And where are you from?
AMAudience Member
Montana.
Only two things I know come from Montana: steers and queers! Either way, welcome!
S3 E6Love Plus One
Oh my God, I love TV. Buffy is my life! I'm so into Willow being a lez.
We went out a couple of years ago. It was...interesting.
She's being modest; it was terrible. For six weeks they fought like cats.
Yeah, but we made up like dogs.
S3 E7Gypsies, Tramps and Weed
What is that smell?
Why do you always look at me when you say that?
[Cher approaches Jack as he is playing with his Cher doll]
CCher
Ya know dude, it is a little weird that you are talking to my doll.
Um, I don't think that I need a drag queen to define normal behavior. But I will say this, the look is flawless.
CCher
Whatever.
Ohh. Working the attitude. OK, you're good.
CCher
I've had a lot of practice.
Hey hey. You're not that great, Mister Sister. I do a better Cher than you.
CCher
Ya think so?
Actually it's "You think so, hooooooooooooooe!"
CCher
Are you kidding me with this?
OK, the hand is perfect, but it's more "are you kidding me with this, hoooooooooooe!"
CCher
Get a life.
[walks away, then turns around]
CCher
[sings] "If I could turn back time..."
[clears throat to sing] "If I could turn back time, hoooooooooooe!" "Time - hoooooooe. Time hoooooe. Time hoooooe."
CCher
[slaps Jack] Snap out of it!
[she leaves; Jack realizes who she really was and faints]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Will & Grace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.