Oh, Karen, hi. Sorry, I must have butt-dialed.
Is there anything you people's butts can't do?
So far, I've yet to be disappointed.
S11 E1Eat, Pray, Love, Phone, Sex
Silence! I need everyone's attention, because I've got big boobs... I mean, big news... but then again, look at 'em!
S11 E2Pappa Mia
[about Will & McCoy's baby] Wow, lucky kid - having two dads, just like Jesus.
And she'll have a Mary right across the hall.
This one ain't a virgin.
I used to love watching the guys play basketball in high school, especially when it was skirts and skins.
You mean shirts and skins.
[pause] No wonder I got beat up so much.
S11 E3With Enemies Like These
PostMates, EasyEats, GrubHub… it's the lazy, hungry person's Renaissance.
Oh, Grace, you're a couch-toilet away from all your dreams coming true.
You know, Stanley always thought you never came around because you were a little sweet on me.
DDanley
Me? Sweet on my brother’s wife? I was always the bigger man.
That’s not physically possible. And I think he was right.
DDanley
You do look stunning, I'll give you that... like a statue by Bernini that some kids have drawn huge gazongas on.
S11 E4The Chick or the Egg Donor
There's so much I don't know about baseball. Like, is there a "base-boobs" or "-oral"?
It depends. Are we talking gay or straight bases? Because we're dealing with different equipment.
Hi. I did bring you flowers, but I had to give them to the woman next door when I walked in on her. I was guessing which room you were in. I guessed wrong.
Every woman loves flowers.
I don't think she'll like the card about dust bunnies in her uterus.
S11 E5The Grief Panda
FFriday
She's hard on the outside, but inside Mrs. Walker is filled with candy and glitter, like a unicorn's colon.
I love how passionate you are about your team. I haven't seen you this excited about something since that Grey Goose truck crashed into that olive cart.
If it had been raining Vermouth, I would've believed in God.
S11 E6Performance Anxiety
So, you have an egg donor, but this other woman's going to carry your gay baby for nine months. How much is making God cry going to cost you?
Oh crap, Jerry Sussman's here. He used to be a catty audition accompanist, then he made it big, and now he's a big, huge pianist.
[smirks] Uh, what was that?
A big, huge, pian… OK, I just heard that, that's amazing!
S11 E7What A Dump
Oh, you are crafty. You brought me to a public place so I wouldn't make a scene.
I brought you to a drag bar. I knew you'd make a scene, and I wanted you to blend in.
Who would want Jack to grow up? Will, sit down. In Spain, we have a story about a boy who is forever young, he never grows up, and he wears tights.
Yeah, it's Peter Pan.
No, in our version this forever boy fights a pirate with a hook for a hand, and his best friend is a teeny, tiny fairy.
That's Peter Pan.
No, "Pedro" escapes to "Nunca Nunca Land"...
That means he escapes to "Never Never Land". It's Peter Pan!
You are wrong. Anyway, that is not the point. The point is, Jack should never grow up. He reminds us all what it feels like to be young.
[sighs] I can't argue with you there.
It's just like Pedro said, "Yo nunca quiero ser adulto".
"I won't grow up"! It's Peter Pan!
S11 E8Lies & Whispers
FFarhan
If I may ask, how old is your child, and how do they identify?
Oh, well, no children yet. Grace's is due in April, mine in May, and my pronouns are "he" and "is terrified".
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Will & Grace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.