I'm 27 years old. I'm not getting any younger.
Really? Because in that last sentence, you just became 5 years younger.
S3 E25Part 2
S4 E1The Third Wheel Gets the Grace
I've got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I haven't even opened yet!
You and I, we have to stay focused. You know how sharks are eating machines? We are shopping machines. That means all we do is shop and poop. Shop and poop. Got it? So, what are we going to do now?
God, I hope it's shop.
S4 E2Past and Presents
[Points at Karen's pin] I see they're finally giving out medals for evil.
Ahh, there's nothing like hoppin' on your hog first thing in the morning and riding it 'til your butt gets tired.
You're preaching to the choir, okay?
S4 E3Crouching Father, Hidden Husband
Let me try to explain this in terms you'll understand. I'm tequila. [Will picks up small bottles on Karen's desk.]
Oh, I'm liking this story better already!
These are my friends: gin, vodka, and scotch. [Scottish accent] Hello, Karen!
Hiya, kids.
Now. You got an emergency. You want a Bloody Mary. You've poured yourself a thimble of tomato juice. Who you gonna call? Me? Tequila?
What is this crazy talk? I want my vodka!
Exactly. So from now on, you only call tequila when you have a legal problem.
Okay, I get it now. You're comin' in loud and queer!
NNancy
One of my moms is gay!
EElliot
Really?
NNancy
Yeah, but she's not a good dancer. She built our house, though.
S4 E4Prison Blues
GGuard
Name, please?
Karen Walker. I'm Stanley Walker's wife.
GGuard
Excuse me?
[shouts] I'm his bitch! Okay? Is that what you want to hear? I'm Stanley Walker's bitch! And I'm his one and only, just in case you pervs get any ideas during those lonely nights at lockdown--
GGuard
Ma'am, I just couldn't hear what you said.
Oh, I'm Karen Walker. Oh my God, I have that same gun!
How sorry am I? "S" is for how very sad you make me feel. "O" is for, oh, how very bad you make me feel. "R" is for how wrong you make me feel.
ZZandra
And the other "R" is for how rotten you are. Get off. Get off the stage! I don't want to even look at you any more.
Actually honey I'm feeling much better. Yah, I just talked to Stan, he had a good day in prison today. He and a convicted junk bond trader smuggled a glazed ham out of the kitchen. So honey, if you want to leave, I know you have things to do. I mean - there's fashion mistakes to be made and it's probably happy hour at some gay bar.
S4 E5Loose Lips Sink Relationships
Thrilled to be here. Love you. Love everything about you. Thinking about being you for Halloween.
Karen... I wanna ask you something, but it's really personal, and I'm afraid you're gonna be insensitive.
Oh, honey. That makes me feel bad. Try me!
Okay. Do you think it's weird that I've had more partners but less actual sex than Nathan?
No. No, honey! That just means that people like having sex with Nathan and they don't like having sex with you!
I can't believe I hesitated to ask you about that.
Oh, relax, honey. I didn't mean it like that, of course I didn't! Listen to me! I just meant that people don't like having sex with you, okay?
S4 E6Rules of Engagement
Listen, there is nothing wrong with listening to Nathan and Grace have sex. It's a victim-less crime. Like tax evasion or public indecency.
Yah, or like when a bartender doesn't notice his tip, you can slide it in front of you and leave it as your own.
Oh great example honey! You are so quick! Like lightning.
That's a terrible example.
Ohh, I think somebody just mad because somebody didn't think of it first.
Oh, before I forget, I just wanted to give you a little extra sparkle. I had to Heimlich it out of Rosario's stomach right before I came over here.
Oh my God. I'm speechless. I don't know what to say, I'd say something if I weren't so speechless, but I'm speechless so I don't know what to say.
Oh zip it, it's a loan. Now listen to me. You got 250 on each ear, 500 G's on the wrist, and a cold 7 on the chest. It would take you, your mom and your grandma an entire lifetime of turning tricks at the plaza to get even 1/2 way there. Lose even one and you're dead.
S4 E7Bed, Bath, and Beyond
Thank God she hasn't broken out the slides yet.
Ohh, thank God is right!
You know about the slides?
No, I just assumed it had something to do with her womanity, so I thought we'd just skate right past it.
No. Slides of Grace as a kid. Whenever she hits a real low point, she breaks out the slide projector and spends a few days trying to figure out where it all went wrong.
I'd say it was the day she became a gay man and fell in love with you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Will & Grace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.