TV show quotes
So, how they hangin', honey?
Well, thanks to Dr. Kipper, three inches higher. Listen. As much as I'd love to stay here sweatin' with the oldies, I'm getting a little woozy from the booze-y seeping from your enlarged pores.
Oh, honey, they're not enlarged. They're just in shock over that hair color.
[Will has just met his father's mistress]
Oh, Will, what you must be feeling! I mean, we were just talking about it, and then whoomp! There it is.
"Whoomp! There it is"? What am I supposed to say, "Who Let the Dogs Out?"
[sobbing] I feel like I'm in The Twilight Zone. And all the people are pigs. And I'm the pretty one, but everyone thinks I'm ugly because they're all pigs and they think pigs are pretty!
Hide the crucifixes. Beelzebooze is here.
Ha ha. Oh, honey. I got a fake laugh with your name all over it.
Do I smell plastic burning?
That was Candy Pruitt. That girl does love her plastic surgery. She's been to Mexico so many times for procedures, I swear if you whacked her over the head with a stick prizes would fall out.
Come on Jack, eat something. I got you this lavender cupcake.
Yeah, with rainbow sprinkles, the color of our flag.
[Grace and Larry are playing the piano]
[singing] Enough is enough, is enough, is enough, is enough, is enough...
THAT'S ENOUGH!
I'm wearing your dirty bathwater in a vial around my neck.
Okay. Time to go psycho!
We've narrowed down the identity of Jack's father. It's either one of the 11 Black brothers of New Haven, Connecticut, or Paul Lynde, the center square.
He's using my new Chantal sauté pan with a metal-edged spatula. There is no way a crêpe is ever going to slide off that again.
Wow, you are more gay before 9 a.m. than most people are all day.
You know how every school has that girl all the other kids make fun of? Bad at sports, a little overweight, friends with the lunch ladies?
I was that girl.
[Jack is videotaping an award acceptance speech]
I want to show them I'm sincere, but I haven't gotten that far in my acting class. We're still on "learning how to listen"...which I don't know how to do, so I just open my eyes really wide and nod.
Look, I have a really great time with you, but you're 23.
And 3 quarters.
See, just the fact that your age has fractions in it...
[Will, Jack and Nathan are drinking to Jack's dead father, whom none of them ever actually met]
[toasting] Here's to you, Joe — we hardly knew ye. [pause] In fact, we didn't know ye at all.
Grace, if you're gonna think I'm gay every time I pass out with men, you're in for a lifetime of heartache.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Will & Grace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
