Keith Mars quotes from Veronica Mars

Keith

Can you think of any reason Logan would have got three calls from Kendall on the day of the crash?

Veronica

[sighs] Well, let's see...I believe the Latin term is coitus sordidus.

Keith

They were sleeping together? [Veronica nods] That was weeks before Kendall's husband fled the country.

Veronica

Logan may be a little fuzzy on the commandments.

Veronica

Mrs. C. I trust you're well.

Kendall

Oh, well, if it isn't Little Miss Teen Getaway. Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble.

Veronica

Like, trouble with a capital "T", that rhymes with "C", that stands for -

Keith

Veronica!

Veronica

I was gonna say "cute."

Veronica

I'm stuck on something, and hoped you could help me.

Keith

Absolutely. Unless it's Physics or Chemistry. Or Math. Or English. P.E. - I was good at P.E.

Keith

When you get your chance to testify, it's important you keep yourself in check, okay? Aaron's lawyer is gonna use everything in his bag of tricks to rile you.

Veronica

Ah, but here's the thing - I'm "unrileable." Easygoing Veronica Mars: that's what the kids at school call me.

Keith

You sure you don't want to go over your testimony with the lawyers again?

Veronica

You know what I want, more than anything in the world? I want to be there, in court, watching Aaron at the moment the jury reads the verdict. I want to see that smirk wiped from his face. I want to see his expression at the exact moment he realizes he'll never be a free man again.

Keith

"Easygoing Veronica Mars," huh? [kisses her forehead] You know how fat men are sometimes called "Tiny"?

Keith

I'm thinking about getting you some sort of... giant hamster ball, so you can roll everywhere in this protective sphere.

Veronica

It'd just draw attention to me. Nobody likes a blonde in a hamster ball.

Keith

I'm on a flight to Reno leaving an hour after graduation.

Veronica

I don't know if I like the idea of you running around a place full of armed, drunk businessmen.

Keith

That's why I rarely go to Texas.

Keith

For you, on this momentous occasion. [hands her an envelope]

Veronica

[smells and shakes envelope] A pony?!

Keith

You all packed?

Veronica

Vagabond shoes and all. And pepper spray, for if we run into that Trump character.

Keith

Vinnie. What brings you to the good part of the wrong side of the tracks?

Vinnie

Dollar signs, mi amigo. The almighty buck. I got a case that requires a little double-detective duty. Lucky Pierre owns a jewelry store and suspects that he's got an embezzler. What do you say, huh? [holds out fist] Wonder Twin powers, activate.

Veronica

Daaad, come here.

Keith

You beckoned?

Veronica

Yeah, you'll never believe it, a maid from our hotel in New York found the flash card with our vacation pictures on it. Look.

Keith

HOT DOG!

Veronica

Hot Dog?

Keith

Its an expression of excitement and enthusiasm.

Keith

'Sup?

Veronica

I'm not acknowledging that.

Veronica

I bet you'd be pretty psyched if I found someone who could help.

Keith

My level of psyched would depend on the someone.

Veronica

Eli Navarro. Remember?

Keith

You mean Weevil? Oh, Veronica, please.

Veronica

Dad, I'm serious.

Keith

Oh, I don't know, all those times I arrested him, he never struck me as great secretary material. Didn't he get busted for murder?

Veronica

Assault.

Keith

See, so he's not even a very good murderer.

Veronica

This is a bad idea.

Keith

No, it's not.

Veronica

You only think it's not because you came up with it.

Keith

Ergo, how could it be bad? Math, sweetie. Me + idea = good.

Veronica

You're going on a date with a married woman.

Keith

It's not a date. We saw a movie, had a drink, and talked.

Veronica

Which is a date.

Veronica

Look Dad, do what you gotta do, okay? I've seen too much working here to ever be surprised again.

Keith

I know you, Veronica. You're not that jaded.

Veronica

I didn't used to be. I had this one shining example that gave me some faith.