Dr. Freeman quotes from Two and a Half Men

You have a choice here: You can dig down and confront your feelings so they won't be controlling your behavior, or you can keep eating pudding and cookies until you have more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Charlie

I don't have a lot of faith in psychiatry as a science. I think some of the drugs you're pushing are interesting, and I'm all for messing around with brain chemistry. I mean, that's how I got through high school. But in my experience, popping pills doesn't relieve social anxiety quite as well as, say, bourbon and Marvin Gaye.

Now I get it. You're desperate, and I'm full of hooey. So in the words of Marvin Gaye, "What's goin' on?"

Charlie

Everything I say is confidential, right?

Whatever you say stays in this room.

Charlie

Kind of like Vegas.

Well, except there's no way you're leaving here with more money than when you came in.

Charlie

Yeah, like Vegas.

You dozed off for 40 minutes, Alan.

Alan

You're gonna charge me for that?!

I was awake.

Charlie

So what do I owe you?

Well, I get $200 an hour, you were here for five minutes, so why don't we just round it off and say $200?

Hookers don't have to listen to you, Charlie. Good-bye.