CCop
At least this clown didn't ask if I was Jewish.
“Release the Dogs” · Season 4, Episode 8
In this episode: Alan (4), Charlie (3), Jake (3), Dr. Freeman (1)
I-- I'm sorry, I'm a little cranky. I-- I haven't slept in two days.
Why don't you take a pill?
He doesn't believe in pills.
How can you not believe in them? They're on TV all the time!
Let me tell you something, Jake: Big pharmaceutical companies want you to think you can take a pill for everything. Can't sleep? Take a pill. Can't wake up? Take a pill. Feeling sad? Take a pill. Can't get it up? Take a pill.
Can't get what up?
He's [Jake] growing up, getting a life of his own. He'll be going off to college soon. I'll only see him on holidays, only hear from him when he needs money -- not that I'll have any, I'll still be paying alimony to two ex-wives! And college tuition? That just means selling an organ or turning tricks. And for what? So that he can get a worthless piece of paper that he can then fold into a hat to wear to the fast food job that he will probably get fired from for stealing fries from the customers' bags! [he leaves the kitchen]
I do like fries.
Oh, would you please just get your drunken ass out of bed and stop being a waste of skin for once in your life?!
Well, since you said "please".
You dozed off for 40 minutes, Alan.
You're gonna charge me for that?!
I was awake.
Why would I hit on Taylor's mom?
Well, she's kind of pretty, and you'll hit on anything with a pulse.
Where'd you get that?
My mom.
Oh. Well...
And my dad, Berta, Rose, Grandma...
OK, OK!
...the UPS man...
All right!
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