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S6 E15

Two and a Half Men · Season 6, Episode 15

“I'd Like to Start With the Cat” quotes from Two and a Half Men

8 quotes

“I'd Like to Start With the Cat” · Season 6, Episode 15

In this episode: Charlie (5), Alan (5), Jake (2), Chelsea (2), Dr. Freeman (1)

Who's my best friend? Where do I work? What's my cat's name? What's my favorite movie? What kind of music do I like? What religion was I raised in? And do I have any brothers and sisters?

Okay, I'd like to startwith the cat.

No cookies? What the hell is going on around here?!

Hey, watch your mouth!

I am watching it. It's empty. I need dessert!

You have a choice here: You can dig down and confront your feelings so they won't be controlling your behavior, or you can keep eating pudding and cookies until you have more chins than a Chinese phone book.

[on couples counseling]

Oh, it's horrible. But it's worth it, because you're paying a stranger to watch while your life goes down the toilet. Along with your money and your house and your car and every last SHRED OF YOUR SELF-RESPECT!

You know, maybe you're not the right guy to ask.

Oh, no, no, no, I-- I'm the perfect guy to ask. Wh-- when Judith and I started, we were just a couple with a few problems. When we finished, I CAME TO LIVE ON YOUR COUCH! GOD BLESS COUPLES COUNSELING!

[After when Jake takes Charlie's pudding cups]

The little turd (Jake) called my bluff!

[Scoffs, then he is hit in the head by Charlie] OW!!

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