Ricky quotes from Trailer Park Boys

Ricky

Randy's got some fuckin' nerve throwing everybody out of this park. That big cocky prick, he's fuckin' up to something, I know he is. Something to do with us, trying to set us up or some shit. If Randy thinks he's smarter than me, he's wrong.

Ricky

My dad's the assistant trailer park supervisor now. He just fucking loves it. I mean, he basically doesn't do a fucking thing. Just drives around, has some drinks, and says high to people. It's awesome.

Ricky

Life for me now is just so fucking great. I just grow lots of dope, spend time with Lucy and Trinity... Things are going really, really well. And Lucy is being so fucking cool, I get drunk three or four times a week with my friends, get stoned, play video games. I just don't know how life can get any better than this.

Ricky

Oh man, are they ever getting fucked over.

Ricky

You're supposed to throw your dope away before you get to the border! Ya fucked up!

Ricky

[barks like a dog to border patrol dogs] Shut the fuck up!

Ricky

Smokes, let's go, gimme some smokes.

Randy

I've only got two left. I'm not giving you any.

Ricky

You're a fucking dick. Lahey, go fuck yourself.

Ricky

You better chill out there, heavy metal dick.

Cyrus

Why don't you go back to the bowling alley where you came from, helmet head?

Julian

I want you outta that car in two days though, Ricky.

Ricky

No more than two weeks, I promise.

Ricky

Shut up! You better shut up or I'll come out there after ya! I swear to God, I'll kill every one of ya!

Julian

Ricky, would you shut up?! Go to sleep! [cuts to Julian inside the trailer] Well, I've been out of jail for a week now, and it's time for me to make some important decisions in my life. I'm gonna go to community college.

Ricky

Will you dogs please stop barking? I'm trying to sleep here.

Julian

I'm either gonna become an electrician, a meat cutter, or I'm gonna get into television and radio broadcasting.

Ricky

Stop fucking barking!

Julian

Ricky, what are you shooting at?!

Ricky

Shut the fuck up! [to Julian] Squirrels and dogs and assholes! [fires off his pistol once more] Shut up!

Julian

Ricky! Ricky! Hold your fire! [walks towards Ricky] What are you doing?

Ricky

Shh, shh. Listen, listen.

Ricky

Asshole. [fires off his pistol]

Julian

Ricky, what are you doing? We're on probation, man.

Ricky

I'm trying to get some sleep here, Julian.

Julian

Do you want to go back to jail?

Ricky

I can't handle this livin'-in-a-car shit.

Julian

Do you want to go back to jail?

Ricky

Listen to this shit. [fires his pistol again]

Julian

Get in the car. [pushes Ricky into the car] Get in the car.

STOP FUCKIN' FIRIN'!

WHAT IN THE FUCK?!

Julian

Shut up!

Ricky

I wish everyone would shut the fuck up out there.

Julian

Ricky, what are you doing?

Ricky

Assholes. [brings out his pistol]

Julian

Ricky! [stops Ricky from firing and attempts to take the gun out of his hand] Listen, give me that gun. [takes the pistol]

Ricky

You don't know what it's like livin' in a car, Julian. I got insects and animals fucking me around in here.

Julian

That's what you've got to deal with when you're in a car.

Ricky

I can't sleep!

Julian

Go to sleep. You know what? You're moving out of here tomorrow.

Ricky

Why?

Julian

'Cause you're driving me nuts. You're shooting guns off in the middle of the night.

Ricky

It's not a big deal, Julian.

Julian

Think, Ricky, think.

Ricky

I can't sleep is the problem.

Julian

Go to sleep.

Ricky

Can I have the gun back in case anything happens?

Julian

No more of this shit.

Ricky

I won't fire it unless I absolutely have to.

Julian

You're not going to fire it at all. [gives Ricky his pistol back, then walks off] Go to sleep. Idiot.

Ricky

Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP! [fires his pistol]

Julian

Ricky! Put that thing away!

Bubbles

I want my kitty.

Ricky

Fuck off, Bubbles! You gave me the cat!

Bubbles

I didn't say you could keep him, and I don't want him living in a fuckin' car.

Ricky

Bubbles, you got tons of cats. Let me keep him.

Bubbles

He was a loaner. I loaned him to you.

Ricky

Well, I need him. Look at my weed plants. One of them's dead.

Bubbles

I don't give a flyin' fuck. I didn't. Never said you could keep him.

Ricky

What the hell are you doing waking me up so early?

Bubbles

No cat of mine's gonna live in a car. Julian!

Julian

Will both of you guys shut up?

Bubbles

Ricky won't give me my kitty!

Julian

Ricky, give him his cat!

Ricky

It's my cat now! He gave it to me!

Julian

I don't care! Give him his cat!

Ricky

Look. You see that? You know why it's dead? Because a squirrel peed in it! That's why I need the cat. He protects my weed plants! I got four plants left, guys. That's all I got left in my life. Please let me have one cat to protect my plants.

Bubbles

Here's what I know, Ricky. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, ya own it. If it doesn't, ya don't own it. And if it doesn't, you're an asshole, just like you.

Julian

Stay in the car!

Julian

Bubbles, take your cat. Get out of here. Ricky, you stay in the car.

Ricky

You let me out of this car right now!

Julian

CALM DOWN!

Ricky

FUCKIN' LET ME OUT OF HERE! I WANT THAT CAT BACK! I NEED HIM!

Julian

Bubbles, get out of here! Calm down, Ricky.

Ricky

I just got woken up in the middle of a great dream and I'm pissed off!

Ricky

Bubbles, just a second, please! Lucy! What are you doing here?

Lucy

I'm leaving Trinity with Julian. I need a little vacation.

Ricky

What about her father? I can take care of my own daughter.

Lucy

Great! Trinity, why don't you get your stuff and go stay in the car with Daddy? Perfect!

Ricky

What, the back seat of a car's not good enough for you now?

Jim

Ricky, do you want me to ask my friends down at the police station if it's okay for you to be drunk in a public place and carrying a loaded handgun while you're on probation?

Ricky

Why do you start doing your job instead of making false incriminations all the time?

Jim

Why don't you get a life, Rick? Why don't you go to community college like Julian here? Hey! I got a good idea! You could teach "living in a car and growing dope 101"!

Ricky

And you could teach "how to get drunk, get fired from the police force, become a lousy trailer park supervisor that sucks, hangs around with a fucking idiot that doesn't wear a shirt, and looks like a dick but thinks he looks good 101".

Ricky

What are you doing, Julian? The chicken fingers aren't even cooked! You want us to get sarsaparilla or something, you dick! Julian, I'm trying to cook some lunch here for me and my...

Julian

Get out of my way.

Ray

What are you doing with the tones, Julian?

Julian

Get off my property, Ray!

Ray

What? What? No, hey, ho, wait!

Ricky

Take it easy, take it easy, man!

Ray

Nah, forget it, Ricky. If he doesn't want me here, I'm goin', man! I'm not wanted here!

Ricky

It's my property!

Ray

Nah, forget it! Come on down to my house, I got lots of chicken fingers down there, man!

Julian

This is my car, this is my property, and this is my toaster! I want you out of here!

Ricky

I can't believe you just did that! Those are the good kind! Eight bucks!

Julian

I'm not joking, Ricky.

Julian

Boys, check out Ricky pickin' up some butts!

Julian

Hey, Ricky! Find any good ones?

Ricky

What?! Yeah, like you guys have never smoked a butt, eh? "Oh, look at Ricky smoking cigarette butts!" I'm sick of this shit! I'm sick of your TV show, and I'm sick of you, and I'm sick of everybody! I'm moving to Toronto!

Ricky

I'm especially sick of this dick! Get the fuck out of here, Lahey!

Ricky

Fuck it, man. I'm moving to Toronto and I'm gonna be a street person! I don't care.

Julian

Rick, think about it. You don't got no money, man! What are you gonna do? How are you gonna get out there?

Ricky

I don't know yet, but I'm gonna get out there.

J-Roc

What's goin' on, honkies?

Ricky

J-Roc?

J-Roc

Damn, you stank! You should put some Old Spice and some brute up in that muhfucka!

Ricky

Listen, I'm not in the mood today, all right? So unless you've got two grand you wanna lend me, get the fuck out of my face.

Tyrone

Hey man, take it easy...

Ricky

No, I'm sick of this shit! I'm sick of all you guys! I'm sick of this park...

J-Roc

Actually, if you wanna make some scrilla, you pop by my crib. I'll tell ya how to make all kinds of money. I'm serious, too!

Ricky

You're gonna make me some money?

J-Roc

I'll make you tons of money! Know what I'm sayin'? Pop by my crib. 'Scuse me, Gorilla. We da fuck out!

Ricky

Well, if you're serious, I'll be down there in about an hour! [to Julian] Looks like I'm not moving to Toronto.

Ricky

Do you ever watch pornos?

Julian

Why?

Ricky

Just makin' conversation, man. Just wondering what you think of the guys who act in them.

Julian

They're greasy.

Ricky

Sorry, man. Well, let's suppose for a minute that I act in a porno movie. Would you think I was greasy? 'Cause that's a little different.

Julian

You're thinking about doing a porno flick with J-ROC, aren't ya? If you're doing that, then yeah, you'd be real greasy. And stupid.

Julian

Would you see DeNiro doing a porn flick?

Ricky

Well, I don't know. If they paid him enough money, he'd probably do one.

Julian

No, he wouldn't. You're stupid.

Gee, Stacy, I bet we could get like $12,000 for this on the open market.

Ricky

[bad Russian accent] Everybody freeze. What's going on here?

Maybe there's something that we can work out, Sergeant, yes?

Ricky

Ah, maybe there is, yes.

Bubbles

Sergeant Boris, what's going on here?

Ricky

Corporal Alexi, we found the motorcycle bandits. They want to work something out.

Bubbles

That's them, is it? Let's get it on, then!

Trevor

Testicle difficulties, please stand by.

Ricky

[normal voice] J-Roc, I can't do this. I'm thinking about Lucy, and...I don't know what's...I...I need about 5 minutes here.

J-Roc

Aight. Aight, cut.