A character in Trailer Park Boys
Played by Robb Wells
Trailer Park Boys · 180 quotes
Most-quoted character in Trailer Park Boys: in 118 of its 180 quotes
Most scenes with: Bubbles (50), Julian (47), Jim (21)
[Ricky is trying to threaten Jim into relinquishing the porno tape]
RickyJust remember, Lahey, what comes around is all around.
Don't you mean what's all around comes around, Ricky?
RickyThis isn't fuckin' over yet.
That's nice talk to use on television, eh? Don't forget you started this shitstorm, Limpy!
[Jim is smoking a cigarette. Cuts to the Shitmobile playing music, which stops before cutting back to Jim and Randy. Julian throws his water bottle out of the Shitmobile.]
Made it. Look, he just friggin' littered right in the park for god sakes.
The son of a bitch.
What an asshole.
I don't. Eye. Eye. Goddamn cigarettes everything.
[Ricky flips Jim off]
See, they're just lookin. They're trying to get us goin', eh?
I--you know. You know, do you know what recidivism is, Randy?
I don't have a clue, Mr. Lahey.
That's when people go back to jail over and over and over. I think we got a couple of A1 class act recidivists up there. Look at him.
[Ricky gets out of the Shitmobile to make the Fuckmobile stop]
RickyFuck off!
[Julian is driving Ricky and the dog after Ricky got shot and the dog ate weed brownies]
RickyIt's not my fault. You're the one that left the dog with me. I didn't wanna look after him anyway.
Ricky, Ricky, I was gone for forty-five minutes.
RickyLook, I'm bleeding to death here. Just get me to a doctor and shut up!
Oh, take you to the doctor. What's gonna happen? The police will get involved Ricky. Think!
RickyI don't give a--I'M BLEEDIN' TO DEATH HERE! YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT! LOOK AT MY ASS!
I don't care about your ass, Ricky! I gotta call Levi.
RickyLEVI?! FUCK LEVI! I NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION!
Listen Ricky. If that dog dies, I swear to God I'll let you bleed to death, all right?!
RickyI don't give a fuck about the dog, all right?!
SHUT UP!
RickyWHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT?! ME OR THE DOG?!
SHUT UP!
RickyWHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT?!
SHUT UP!
[Julian dials Levi's number on the cordless phone]
RickyFuckin' bleedin' to death here!
Come on, Levi.
[Levi answers]
Levi, thank God. I got a situation on my hands here.
RickyYou fuckin' asshole. What the fuck were you doing eating my brownies?
Ricky has a bullet in his ass and he fed the dog a bunch of weed brownies.
RickyI DIDN'T FEED THE DOG BROWNIES!
YOU FED THE DOG!
RickyHE ATE THEM!
SHUT UP! I'M ON THE PHONE, RICKY!
RickyI NEED FUCKIN'!
SHUT UP!
RickyTHIS IS FUCKED UP!
[Ricky and Julian are trying to break into a barn to steal a riding lawnmower]
Here you go. Break in.
[Hands Ricky a crowbar]
RickyWhy do I have to break in?
Because this is all your fault and I'm in charge! Hurry up!
RickyIt's your fault. You gave me the dog, you idiot.
Hurry up!
[Ricky takes the crowbar and pries the door open, an alarm sounds]
RickyJesus Christ!
[Ricky draws a pistol and shoots into the barn, silencing the alarm]
RickyWho the fuck puts an alarm system in a barn? Fuckin' idiots!
[Ricky and Julian are struggling to push the lawn mower out of the barn. Ricky falls down and an inflatable raft falls down on top of him. He gets up and angrily slams the raft back up against the wall while the sound man leans over the lawn mower, attempting to catch it all.]
[Ricky grabs the boom mic]
RickyHey, retard! Can you hear me? I need a hand in here! Come fuckin' help us!
[The sound man puts the lawn mower into neutral, allowing them to push it easily]
RickyOh, it's in neutral now. Well, sorry I'm not so smart. I didn't know that.
[Farmer comes out with a shotgun]
RickyLet's go. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who the fuck is that guy? What do you want?
Relax, Ricky.
Ricky What do you want?
WHAT'S GOING ON?!
RickyNothing.
[Farmer shoots at them]
FUCK! AH FUCK!
WHAT IN THE FUCK?!
Get in the truck!
I'M FUCKING SHOT! Ahh, fuck!
[Julian drags Sound Guy in the truck]
RICKY, GET IN THE TRUCK!
FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK!
GET IN THE TRUCK!
FUCK! Cover me, man! I'm fucking shot again here!
[Julian fires off shots]
I'M FUCKING SHOT!
HOLD YOUR FIRE! SOMEBODY'S HURT HERE!
[Ricky and Julian are driving home, only to be met at the entrance to Sunnyvale by Lahey and Randy. Randy is shining a bright light right at them.]
RickyOh, for fucks sakes. [sighs] Fucking kidding me!
[Peering into Julian's truck] And how's our little gunshot victim tonight?
Ricky What's this shit?
It is my duty to inform you…
[Two kids carrying glass bottles approach the front gate on bikes and skateboards. Randy quickly notices.]
Bottle kids!
[Julian, Ricky, Randy, and Lahey take cover]
Jesus!
[The kids throw their bottles at Julian’s windshield, shattering upon impact]
Christ!
[The kids make their getaway]
Get back here, you little buggers!
RickyGo deal with that, Lahey, instead of worrying about us!
Just relax, Ricky. We're taking care of it.
RickyKnock knock, boys.
Who's there?
[Ricky gives them two middle fingers directly in their faces]
You can't be sittin' in the middle of the road drinkin'. It's against the law.
Guys, guys! Break it up! [runs into the middle of Ricky, Lahey and Randy arguing]
RickyYou give me that beer back!
Ricky, shut up!
This is drunk and disorderly!
RickyYou owe me a twelve-pack of beer, asshole!
Ricky! Would you guys stop it!? Lahey. Lahey, Ricky, get over--
I do not believe how stupid these guys are. Like father, like stupid son.
Lahey--
[Ricky bumps into a beer box]
What?
Lahey, get him off the street.
We've been trying to get him off the damn street.
Well, get him out of here. [pushes Randy away] Go mow some lawns or something, you greasy bastard.
RickyHey Lahey, you want a smoke? [holds the cigarette to his waist] 'Cause I got one right fuckin' here for you, buddy-boy.
Ricky-- [drags him away]
You got one joke in your resitory, do you, Rick?
Ricky[points to Jim] You owe a beer, [points to Randy] and you owe me a beer, you assholes!
Come on, Randy.
RickyDon't you have some offs to fuck there, boys?
What?
RickyFuck off!
RickyYou know Jim or Jim knows you?
Jim...Jim, my dad Jim?
RickyJim's your dad? Oh yeah...he mentioned he had a son on the force.
Yeah?
RickyYeah, him and my dad go way back!
[At the supermarket, the boys are wearing pantyhose masks, armed with various guns, robbing the store. The employees put their hands up.]
Everybody down!
This is a robbery!
Everyone keep calm! We don't want your money and we don't want to hurt anybody! We just want some food! Stop fuckin' around! Get in position!
[Trevor pumps his shotgun, Bubbles and Julian are stealing a bunch of hotdogs, and Cory and Trevor are stealing chip bags and bananas]
This is gonna be the best wedding ever, dude.
Holy shit. So cool.
What the fuck do you have so many bananas for, dude?
[Cut back to Julian and Bubbles stealing hotdogs, then to Cory and Trevor]
Fuck with the corkscrews and shit, man.
Fuck. Why are you always telling me what to do?
There are fuckin' bananas in the cart, dude. We don't want bananas at the wedding. No one eats bananas at the wedding.
[Meanwhile, Ricky wanders into the store to buy cigarettes and goes to the checkout line, where the cashier has their hands raised. Ricky doesn't seem to notice.]
RickyLose some smokes.
Hands up!
[Ricky pulls out his pistol and fires it at Cory, sending the cashier diving for cover and triggering a shootout. Trevor fires his shotgun, while Bubbles fires his Uzi]
Holy fuckin' Jesus! What the fuck have they doing?
[Trevor continues to fire his shotgun and Cory is firing his pistol]
Put your gun down! It's us! It's us!
RickyJulian!
Stop shooting, you dicks!
RickyWhat the fuck's going on here?! I just came here for smokes! What the hell's going on?!
Sorry, dude, man, we didn't know.
Ricky[to Julian] You're stupid, [to Cory and Trevor] you're stupid, [to Bubbles] you're a fuckin' idiot.
The fuckin' gun's broke! It's broken!
RickyYou could've killed me over there! The fuck?!
Ricky, shut up! [points to the surveillance camera] Ricky!
RickyOh, for fuck sakes! [shoots the surveillance camera]
[Outside the supermarket, the boys are frantically loading their looted groceries into their truck. Police sirens can be heard in the distance.]
Let's go, let's go! Everybody out!
Out of the way, dudes.
Aw shit. [picks up a bag of chips]
RickyI'm never fuckin' speaking to you guys again.
Get in the truck, Ricky!
[Cory and Trevor start putting the food in the truck]
Come on, move!
RickyRetarded. What's with all these fuckin' bananas?!
I fucked up, Ricky. People like bananas.
RickyFuck off, boys!
I have to get the cart in!
RickyFuck off with the cart, Bubbles!
Come on! I'm not leaving this fuckin' cart!
Leave the cart!
[Ricky throws the cart away]
Come on!
RickyGet in the fuckin' truck! GET IN!
Jesus Christ!
Get in!
RickyYou know, I may not have done all the right stuff in my life or done smart stuff, but guys, maybe I shouldn't be commenting here, but that was pretty fuckin' dumb, alright? You're robbing a fuckin' grocery store, you didn't even tell me, I'm fuckin' on video tape now firing handguns with no mask on! You guys are FUCKIN' DUMB!
Ricky, would you calm down?
RickyNo, I'm not gonna calm down, Julian!
Calm down!
RickyI'm pissed off! [points to Bubbles] I'm pissed off at you, [points to Cory and Trevor] and especially you two dicks! You guys are really fuckin' stupid!
Ricky.
Sorry, man, but you were shooting at us too.
RickyI'm drunk! I'm really drunk, and I don't need this shit!
Ricky! Would you--
RickyI'm gettin' married tomorrow!
Would you shut up?! Everything's gonna be cool! Trust me!
[crying] Can everyone just please stop it?
Oh, look what--You're making Bubbles cry, Ricky! Just shut up!
RickyI'm sorry, alright? I'm drunk.
Oooh, nice Mall Cop uniform, Ricky!
RickyDon't even fuckin' start with me today, Lahey. I'm not in the mood.
I beg your pardon. I was only a real cop. I was never an important Mall Cop like you, Rick.
RickyKnock knock.
Who's there, Rick?
RickySomebody.
Somebody who?
RickySomebody whose ex-wife owns the fuckin' trailer park is the only reason you got the job as trailer park supervisor 'cause you got fired from the police force 'cause you fucked up big time, but we're not gonna talk about that, are we? And now, you're gonna get fired from this job 'cause you're nothin' but a drunk fuckin' idiot who can't even run the trailer park! You're drunk right now, I can smell the fuckin' liquor on you from here. Go away for 18 months to jail and everything goes to fuckin' shit, doesn't it, Lahey? Let your little buddy with the no fuckin' shirt move in with my girlfriend and ruin my whole fuckin' life! Now there's fuckin' shit everywhere in this fuckin' trailer park! Fuckin' idiot!
[Cory and Trevor are putting up signs for Sam Losco]
What are you guys doing?
We're helping Sam.
Yeah, man. We're gonna get a chance to screw Lahey over.
You guys aren't doin' well in the thinking department, are ya? Sam's a caveman, and he's a dick.
RickyAnd that makes you guys dicks, 'cause you're promoting him.
He's gonna give us homemade hot dogs when we're finished putting the signs up.
RickyWell, I'm gonna give you some homemade fuck-offs right now. Get rid of these stupid signs, you dummies.
[Ricky gives Trevor two middle fingers and throws the sign]
[Bubbles finds Ricky and Julian's dope plants in his burnt-to-the-ground shed]
Oh, I think that's yours, Ricky. Stupid f... [trying to hold back tears] stupid fucking dope plants!
RickyThey're not dope plants, they're just...some vegetables we were growing.
Oh yeah. Yeah, I fuckin' believe that, Ricky.
BubblesMike Smith · 77 quotes
JulianJohn Paul Tremblay · 61 quotes
JimJohn Dunsworth · 38 quotes
RandyPatrick Roach · 31 quotes
TrevorMichael Jackson · 14 quotes
CoryCory Bowles · 13 quotes
J-RocJonathan Torrens · 13 quotes
RayBarrie Dunn · 12 quotes
LucyLucy Decoutere · 9 quotes
BarbShelley Thompson · 7 quotes
DDonny7 quotes
Alex LifesonAlex Lifeson · 6 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Trailer Park Boys pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.