Donny quotes from Trailer Park Boys

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Scenes with Donny 6

[A dog barks off in the distance]

Shut up! You better shut up or I'll come out there after ya! I swear to God, I'll kill every one of ya!

Ricky, would you shut up?! Go to sleep! [cuts to Julian inside the trailer] Well, I've been out of jail for a week now, and it's time for me to make some important decisions in my life. I'm gonna go to community college.

Will you dogs please stop barking? I'm trying to sleep here.

I'm either gonna become an electrician, a meat cutter, or I'm gonna get into television and radio broadcasting.

Stop fucking barking!

[Gunshots are heard as Julian runs out of his trailer to see Ricky firing his pistol]

Ricky, what are you shooting at?!

Shut the fuck up! [to Julian] Squirrels and dogs and assholes! [fires off his pistol once more] Shut up!

Ricky! Ricky! Hold your fire! [walks towards Ricky] What are you doing?

Shh, shh. Listen, listen.

[The dog continues to bark]

Asshole. [fires off his pistol]

Ricky, what are you doing? We're on probation, man.

I'm trying to get some sleep here, Julian.

Do you want to go back to jail?

I can't handle this livin'-in-a-car shit.

Do you want to go back to jail?

Listen to this shit. [fires his pistol again]

Get in the car. [pushes Ricky into the car] Get in the car.

DDonny

STOP FUCKIN' FIRIN'!

[Ricky honks the horn to get the dog to stop barking]

DDonny

WHAT IN THE FUCK?!

Shut up!

I wish everyone would shut the fuck up out there.

Ricky, what are you doing?

[The dog continues to bark]

Assholes. [brings out his pistol]

Ricky! [stops Ricky from firing and attempts to take the gun out of his hand] Listen, give me that gun. [takes the pistol]

You don't know what it's like livin' in a car, Julian. I got insects and animals fucking me around in here.

That's what you've got to deal with when you're in a car.

I can't sleep!

Go to sleep. You know what? You're moving out of here tomorrow.

Why?

'Cause you're driving me nuts. You're shooting guns off in the middle of the night.

It's not a big deal, Julian.

Think, Ricky, think.

I can't sleep is the problem.

Go to sleep.

Can I have the gun back in case anything happens?

No more of this shit.

I won't fire it unless I absolutely have to.

You're not going to fire it at all. [gives Ricky his pistol back, then walks off] Go to sleep. Idiot.

[The dog continues to bark]

Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP! [fires his pistol]

Ricky! Put that thing away!

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[Farmer comes out with a shotgun]

Let's go. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who the fuck is that guy? What do you want?

Relax, Ricky.

Ricky What do you want?

FFarmer

WHAT'S GOING ON?!

Nothing.

[Farmer shoots at them]

SGSound Guy

FUCK! AH FUCK!

DDonny

WHAT IN THE FUCK?!

Get in the truck!

SGSound Guy

I'M FUCKING SHOT! Ahh, fuck!

[Julian drags Sound Guy in the truck]

RICKY, GET IN THE TRUCK!

SGSound Guy

FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK!

GET IN THE TRUCK!

SGSound Guy

FUCK! Cover me, man! I'm fucking shot again here!

[Julian fires off shots]

SGSound Guy

I'M FUCKING SHOT!

HOLD YOUR FIRE! SOMEBODY'S HURT HERE!

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Strike three, Ricky. It is my duty and pleasure to inform you that you are fired. Give me your walkie.

I'm not fired, I fuckin' quit. You want your walkie back? No problem. Here, Randy, you can go fuckin' get it.

Ricky.

[Ricky throws Randy's walkie into the vodka pool, Bubbles laughs]

You just crossed the line, Ricky!

[Randy attacks Ricky, they tackle each other into the vodka pool, spilling it]

DDonny

WHAT IN THE FUCK!?

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[The boys walk to a manhole wearing garbage bags]

This is fucked up, Julian.

Look boys, I'm sorry, alright? The security's a little tight. This'll be fun, man.

This is not fuckin' fun, Julian! This is bullshit!

You wanna see Rush, Bubbles?

Yes, I wanna see Rush!

Get down there. You want me to go next?

Please. What if something gets me?

Ah! Something licked me on the knee! Something licked me!

[Julian lifts up a grate]

We did it, Julian. Was that the Alex Lifeson?

Shh!

That is him!

Shh!

Sorry, Randy? I got this T-shirt for you to wear tonight on stage during the guitar changes.

No thanks, Alex. I don't wear shirts.

Alex Lifeson

Oh, no. You gotta wear a shirt. Please.

Never do.

Randy doesn't wear shirts, Mr. Lifeson. That's just the way it is.

Alex Lifeson

Well, Mr. Lahey, maybe you can talk him into wearing this shirt.

He doesn't wear shirts. Not even in the winter time.

[Notices Ricky, Julian and Bubbles walking towards them]

How did you idiots get in here?!

Hi, Alex.

Don't worry about it, Lahey. Hey, I know this guy!

How's this shit?

See this, Randy? When somebody like Alex Lifeson gives you a fuckin' T-shirt to put on, you're puttin' the fuckin' thing on. I don't care if you don't wear shirts.

I don't wear a frig! [Bubbles attempts to put the T-shirt on Randy]

Randy doesn't wear shirts!

[Bubbles struggles to get Randy to wear the T-shirt while the other try to pry him off]

[to the security guards] Take the garbage downtown, boys.

[The guards drag the boys away]

DDonny

WHAT IN THE FUCK?!

[The boys get out of the cab]

This is fucked!

Fuckin' believe we gotta go down the same!

Boys, it wasn't that bad.

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How's it going, Randy? Did you get everything done?

Almost. Are those my burgers, Ricky? That's my burger, right?

No, Barb made these for me.

I want my fuckin' burger, Rick!

Randy, I'll get yours later. You didn't finish your job.

[Randy tries to take the burger out of Ricky's hand]

Fuck off, Randy!

Fuck you!

You get the fuckin' chicken chips-

[Randy grabs the burger and tries to eat it as Ricky starts choking him]

Fuckin' asshole! Give me that back, you fuckin' dick! Let go of it! Stop grabbing it!

[Jim sees Ricky from his back view, making it look like Randy is trying to perform oral sex on him]

Get your hands of it! Get your fuckin' hands of it!

IT'S MINE!

Smokey!

[Lahey trips and accidently shoots the arrow towards Ricky and Randy. Ricky gets shot in the back of his shoulder with the arrow]

[in pain] FUCK! What the fuck?! Ah, Jesus Christ!

[Ricky takes out his gun and starts shooting aimlessly]

DDonny

WHAT IN THE FUCK?!

What are you doing?! Give me that!

I'm trying to shoot whoever fuckin' shot me!

Randy, how could you do that?

Jesus Christ!

Do what?

What you were doing with Ricky?

I wasn't doing anything with Ricky.

Is that a fuckin' bow and...you fuckin' shot me!

It was an accident, Ricky. I was trying to shoot a blue jay.

I'll show you a fuckin' blue jay!

Ricky, it was an accident! Listen, you can call the cops on Lahey for getting shot with an arrow, but he can call the cops on you for firing a handgun out in the trailer park. They cancel out.

That doesn't even make sense, Julian.

It's even, Ricky.

I don't have the right people words to make you understand the way it means to me, but something's fucked up here!

Hold still, Ricky.

[Bubbles lightly tries to pull out the arrow]

Ricky AGHHHH!!! FUUUCK!!!

Get outta here!

[Julian pushes Ricky away as he grunts in pain]

Ricky, you owe me two double cheeseburgers for cleaning up Julian's trailer!

I never said doubles, Randy! I never said fuckin' doubles! Where's my chocolate milk and chicken chips?!

Rick, go home!

[to Randy] Fuck you and fuck your cheeseburgers!

Everybody calm down! For fuck's sakes! Is this all about cheeseburgers?!

Yeah.

Well, Randy, I've got burger meat and cheese at my shed. I'll cook some up for you on the barbeque if that'll diffuse the situation.

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J-Roc, where's this guy at anyway?

J-Roc

Chill out, Julian. Cyrus'll be here in a minute, ya know what I'm sayin'?

Cyrus?!

What the fuck are you doing working with Cyrus?

Well, well, well. If it isn't the big, tough Julianne. The Hubble Bubble Telescope. And Helmet Head.

Fuckin' call me a telescope.

Ladies! The boss is home. It's been a long time no see, dick weeds. (pulls a gun)

Why don't you take your little gun and fuck off, Cyrus?

[chambers a round] Why don't we fuck on?

Cory

[walks out of the trailer] Julian, where's the hand cream?

[takes a man's bag of chips out of his hand] I know one of you dickheads did this to my car, 'cause you're the only ones who know I failed Grade 10.

You failed Grade 10?

[points his gun towards the Roc Pile] Fuck off! [points to his car, which has been vandalized with graffiti] And what's this, "I'm a fuckhead"? Huh?