Bubbles quotes from Trailer Park Boys

Bubbles

The whole idea of it's got me pretty damn frisky, too! It's been, uh...been quite a while since that stuff went on with me. I'm really frisky!

Bubbles

Ricky just waltzes in there and becomes the king of the carts. The fuck does he expect me to do for a living? What does he want me to do? Go to EI and say, "Hello there, I've been hauling shopping carts out of ponds and I've been doing it for 18 years...so give me a fuckin' check, please." That's not goin' to fuckin' happen. I haven't even paid into UI...EI, whatever the fuck they call it these days.

Bubbles

Oh, for fuck's sakes! Look at that! That's my fucking bubble maker! That was the only thing I had that my parents gave me before they fucking deserted me in this shed, which I don't have anymore! Now it's just a big, melted fuckin' blob of shit!

Bubbles

Well, when I was a little guy, I always wanted to go up into space, be a spaceman. But you gotta be able to see really fuckin' good to do that job. Some guy would take one look at me and say, "Uhhh, sorry, sir, you gotta be able to see a little better than that." I don't give a fuck.

Bubbles

I can't wait to start fuckin' hammerin' people! (shoulder-checks his shed door)

Bubbles

You look kind of French with your little mustache there. I'm gonna call you Steve French! That's a good name for you.

Bubbles

My God, Ricky! I think it's a letter from my mom! [reading letter aloud] "Dear Bubbles: Merry Christmas. Sorry we're not there with you. It was the hardest thing we've ever done, when me and your dad had to pack up and leave you. But some very dangerous men were coming after your daddy for his gambling, fighting and shooting his mouth off, drunk down at the legion. We never wanted to put you into any jeopardy, so we had to leave fast. Hopefully some day you'll understand. P.S.: I've asked Julian's grandmother if you could stay with them for a bit. She said no problem, Julian would look after you. You're lucky you have a friend like Julian and that Richard boy who you try to help out with his school work."

Bubbles

It's a liquor-lanche!

Bubbles

Lucy got fake boobs. I mean...it's obvious. I don't mean I was staring at them, but I can't exactly control what direction my eyes go in all the time. I mean, obviously she used our money to buy them anyway, so if you think about it, I sorta own one third of them.

Bubbles

I want my kitty.

Ricky

Fuck off, Bubbles! You gave me the cat!

Bubbles

I didn't say you could keep him, and I don't want him living in a fuckin' car.

Ricky

Bubbles, you got tons of cats. Let me keep him.

Bubbles

He was a loaner. I loaned him to you.

Ricky

Well, I need him. Look at my weed plants. One of them's dead.

Bubbles

I don't give a flyin' fuck. I didn't. Never said you could keep him.

Ricky

What the hell are you doing waking me up so early?

Bubbles

No cat of mine's gonna live in a car. Julian!

Julian

Will both of you guys shut up?

Bubbles

Ricky won't give me my kitty!

Julian

Ricky, give him his cat!

Ricky

It's my cat now! He gave it to me!

Julian

I don't care! Give him his cat!

Ricky

Look. You see that? You know why it's dead? Because a squirrel peed in it! That's why I need the cat. He protects my weed plants! I got four plants left, guys. That's all I got left in my life. Please let me have one cat to protect my plants.

Bubbles

Here's what I know, Ricky. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, ya own it. If it doesn't, ya don't own it. And if it doesn't, you're an asshole, just like you.

Julian

Stay in the car!

Julian

Bubbles, take your cat. Get out of here. Ricky, you stay in the car.

Ricky

You let me out of this car right now!

Julian

CALM DOWN!

Ricky

FUCKIN' LET ME OUT OF HERE! I WANT THAT CAT BACK! I NEED HIM!

Julian

Bubbles, get out of here! Calm down, Ricky.

Ricky

I just got woken up in the middle of a great dream and I'm pissed off!

Gee, Stacy, I bet we could get like $12,000 for this on the open market.

Ricky

[bad Russian accent] Everybody freeze. What's going on here?

Maybe there's something that we can work out, Sergeant, yes?

Ricky

Ah, maybe there is, yes.

Bubbles

Sergeant Boris, what's going on here?

Ricky

Corporal Alexi, we found the motorcycle bandits. They want to work something out.

Bubbles

That's them, is it? Let's get it on, then!

Trevor

Testicle difficulties, please stand by.

Ricky

[normal voice] J-Roc, I can't do this. I'm thinking about Lucy, and...I don't know what's...I...I need about 5 minutes here.

J-Roc

Aight. Aight, cut.

J-Roc

Aight, Soft Serve. Here's what I'm talkin' about. You can't do the X-to-the-X-to-the-X. So we gonna do some SC witcha candy, that's softcore, right? Know what I'm sayin'? It's still gonna play in hotels and all that, and you're still gonna be a star. But Bubbles, you ain't havin' no troubles. You wanna get with her?

Bubbles

Well, if it's okay with her, I certainly would.

J-Roc

That aight?

Yeah, that's cool.

J-Roc

Aight.

Don't be nervous, Bubbles. I'll take good care of you.

Cory

Everybody down!

Trevor

This is a robbery!

Julian

Everyone keep calm! We don't want your money and we don't want to hurt anybody! We just want some food! Stop fuckin' around! Get in position!

Cory

This is gonna be the best wedding ever, dude.

Trevor

Holy shit. So cool.

Cory

What the fuck do you have so many bananas for, dude?

Cory

Fuck with the corkscrews and shit, man.

Trevor

Fuck. Why are you always telling me what to do?

Cory

There are fuckin' bananas in the cart, dude. We don't want bananas at the wedding. No one eats bananas at the wedding.

Ricky

Lose some smokes.

Cory

Hands up!

Bubbles

Holy fuckin' Jesus! What the fuck have they doing?

Julian

Put your gun down! It's us! It's us!

Ricky

Julian!

Julian

Stop shooting, you dicks!

Ricky

What the fuck's going on here?! I just came here for smokes! What the hell's going on?!

Cory

Sorry, dude, man, we didn't know.

Ricky

[to Julian] You're stupid, [to Cory and Trevor] you're stupid, [to Bubbles] you're a fuckin' idiot.

Bubbles

The fuckin' gun's broke! It's broken!

Ricky

You could've killed me over there! The fuck?!

Julian

Ricky, shut up! [points to the surveillance camera] Ricky!

Ricky

Oh, for fuck sakes! [shoots the surveillance camera]

Julian

Let's go, let's go! Everybody out!

Cory

Out of the way, dudes.

Trevor

Aw shit. [picks up a bag of chips]

Ricky

I'm never fuckin' speaking to you guys again.

Julian

Get in the truck, Ricky!

Julian

Come on, move!

Ricky

Retarded. What's with all these fuckin' bananas?!

Trevor

I fucked up, Ricky. People like bananas.

Ricky

Fuck off, boys!

Bubbles

I have to get the cart in!

Ricky

Fuck off with the cart, Bubbles!

Bubbles

Come on! I'm not leaving this fuckin' cart!

Julian

Leave the cart!

Bubbles

Come on!

Ricky

Get in the fuckin' truck! GET IN!

Bubbles

Jesus Christ!

Julian

Get in!

Ricky

You know, I may not have done all the right stuff in my life or done smart stuff, but guys, maybe I shouldn't be commenting here, but that was pretty fuckin' dumb, alright? You're robbing a fuckin' grocery store, you didn't even tell me, I'm fuckin' on video tape now firing handguns with no mask on! You guys are FUCKIN' DUMB!

Julian

Ricky, would you calm down?

Ricky

No, I'm not gonna calm down, Julian!

Julian

Calm down!

Ricky

I'm pissed off! [points to Bubbles] I'm pissed off at you, [points to Cory and Trevor] and especially you two dicks! You guys are really fuckin' stupid!

Julian

Ricky.

Trevor

Sorry, man, but you were shooting at us too.

Ricky

I'm drunk! I'm really drunk, and I don't need this shit!

Julian

Ricky! Would you--

Ricky

I'm gettin' married tomorrow!

Julian

Would you shut up?! Everything's gonna be cool! Trust me!

Bubbles

[crying] Can everyone just please stop it?

Julian

Oh, look what--You're making Bubbles cry, Ricky! Just shut up!

Ricky

I'm sorry, alright? I'm drunk.