Boys, check out Ricky pickin' up some butts!
[Ricky is crouched next to a bus stop trash can, picking cigarette butts up off of the ground]
Hey, Ricky! Find any good ones?
What?! Yeah, like you guys have never smoked a butt, eh? "Oh, look at Ricky smoking cigarette butts!" I'm sick of this shit! I'm sick of your TV show, and I'm sick of you, and I'm sick of everybody! I'm moving to Toronto!
[Jim rolls past slowly]
I'm especially sick of this dick! Get the fuck out of here, Lahey!
[Jim drives off]
Fuck it, man. I'm moving to Toronto and I'm gonna be a street person! I don't care.
Rick, think about it. You don't got no money, man! What are you gonna do? How are you gonna get out there?
I don't know yet, but I'm gonna get out there.
[J-Roc and Tyrone roll up in a Volvo]
What's goin' on, honkies?
Damn, you stank! You should put some Old Spice and some brute up in that muhfucka!
Listen, I'm not in the mood today, all right? So unless you've got two grand you wanna lend me, get the fuck out of my face.
TyroneHey man, take it easy...
No, I'm sick of this shit! I'm sick of all you guys! I'm sick of this park...
Actually, if you wanna make some scrilla, you pop by my crib. I'll tell ya how to make all kinds of money. I'm serious, too!
You're gonna make me some money?
I'll make you tons of money! Know what I'm sayin'? Pop by my crib. 'Scuse me, Gorilla. We da fuck out!
Well, if you're serious, I'll be down there in about an hour! [to Julian] Looks like I'm not moving to Toronto.
You know'm sayin' everybody that walk on the face of the Earth tryin' to judge the J-Roc, know'm sayin'? See wha'm sayin'? But I ain't shook, 'cause muhfuckas tryin' to take me out and stuff, but they can't, right? Know'm sayin'?
Tyrone
You're sayin' "know what I'm sayin'" too many times! 80 or 90 times? That's too many times! Once or twice is cool, but 80 or 90 times, man?
What are you, from the Department of Know'm Sayin's? You takin' a Know'm Census? You countin' my Know'm Sayin's? We're hangin' out, right?
Tyrone
80 or 90 times? That's too many Know'm Sayin's, know'm sayin'?
See wha'm sayin' you're ridin' on my jock, you know'm sayin'? I'm just tryin' to have a good time, you know'm sayin'? And you're countin' my Know'm Sayin's!
Tyrone
That's too many times. Once or twice is cool, but 80 or 90 times, know'm sayin'? No...
How am I supposed to be myself when you're countin' my Know'm Sayin's all the time, you know'm sayin'?
VVictoria
J-Roc, I think you're saying it way too much.
[all three simultaneously]
Tyrone
Know'm sayin'.
Okay, boys. Rule number one: no living in a van in Sunnyvale Trailer Park.
J-Roc, you better straighten Panama Jack the fuck out right now.
Aight, here's what I'm talkin' about, you know'm sayin'? Know'm sayin'? Bubbles is renting this van for twelve dollars a month, you know'm sayin'? That makes this muhfucka an income property, you know'm sayin'? And once me and T get power and water goin' on, then this muhfucka gonna fall under the same jurisdictions as every other trailer up in this ma', you know'm sayin'? So why don't you and that fifteen cheeseburger-eatin', Rico Suave lookin' muhfucka go on, 'cause you ain't beatin' nobody! Peace.
[Tyrone laughs, slaps J-Roc's hand]
Tyrone
That's cold, man! That's crazy! Suave-Rico cheeseburger!
[J-Roc leans his ear to Randy's gut]
Can I get fifteen half-eaten cheeseburgers to go? You know'm sayin'?
Tyrone
Order me some too, man!
[Bubbles laughs]
Talking to his gut like it's a person.
Julian, I'm craving some Chalet take-out. Come on. My treat?
And then we're gettin' drunk, all right?
Tyrone
Man, Bubbles, man, I would like some chicken, man. Get me a quarter chicken dinner, extra gravy.
DDVS
Fo' sho'. Quarter chicken dinner, french fries, onion rings.
Chicken-rib combo, extra roll, B.
Boys, boys, come off it! This is distraction chicken I'm buying Julian!
Oh, so now I'm like, "You got my whip," you know what I'm sayin', "But I ain't got no chicken!"
Ricky, what the fuck happened to your head, man?
Fucking Lahey blew me up! What happened to YOUR head? Why you wearing a wig, J-Roc? That's fucked.
Yo I ain't J-Roc, that muthafuka's in jail.
Tyrone
Yeah, that's not J-Roc. J-Roc's in jail 'til the album drops!
What's crackin', y'all? Let me be the first to officially welcome y'all muhfuckas to my brand-new joint: Scrilla Villa! Aight, dawg, check it out. Let me explain somethin' to ya, ya know'm sayin'? Me' n' T had to get somethin' set up with the babies on the way, know'm sayin'? With the family, ya know'm mean? So we had to start workin'. That's when I realized the airport has some interesting job opportunities, dawg.
Tyrone
That's right. We had to seize the muthafucka!
Carpe dizzem, ya know'm sayin'?
Tyrone
That's right.
That's why we started gankin' luggage.
This is all the shit we ganked from overseas, ya know'm sayin'? It's all from Europe! It's tight! Muhfuckas come back with some crazy-ass shit, dawg. You want a box for ya bling? It's ten muhfuckas! It's tight, cheap, and dope. I'm out.
This here room is what I call "Liquors of the World", dawg, you know'm sayin'? Look at all this shit that muhfucks bring back. It's ya passport to gettin' drunk, you know'm sayin'? [picks up a bottle shaped like a guitar] Glug-glug, ting-ting-ting-ting-ting!
[picks up a shoe] Real snake! What? Sayin'! We so busy now, ya know'm mean? I had to hire employees, ya know'm mean? That's Lucy right there. Lucy, one of my employees. [points to her stomach] That li'l muhfucka ain't, though! I ain't payin' for that muhfucka!
Trailer Park Boys · 180 quotes
