[filming From Russia With the Love Bone]
VVictoria
Gee, Stacy, I bet we could get like $12,000 for this on the open market.
[bad Russian accent] Everybody freeze. What's going on here?
SStacy
Maybe there's something that we can work out, Sergeant, yes?
[Stacy drops and begins unbuckling Ricky's pants]
Sergeant Boris, what's going on here?
Corporal Alexi, we found the motorcycle bandits. They want to work something out.
That's them, is it? Let's get it on, then!
[Stacy gives Ricky (censored) oral sex, but he can't get it up]
TrevorTesticle difficulties, please stand by.
[normal voice] J-Roc, I can't do this. I'm thinking about Lucy, and...I don't know what's...I...I need about 5 minutes here.
[At the supermarket, the boys are wearing pantyhose masks, armed with various guns, robbing the store. The employees put their hands up.]
Trevor
This is a robbery!
Everyone keep calm! We don't want your money and we don't want to hurt anybody! We just want some food! Stop fuckin' around! Get in position!
[Trevor pumps his shotgun, Bubbles and Julian are stealing a bunch of hotdogs, and Cory and Trevor are stealing chip bags and bananas]
This is gonna be the best wedding ever, dude.
Trevor
Holy shit. So cool.
What the fuck do you have so many bananas for, dude?
[Cut back to Julian and Bubbles stealing hotdogs, then to Cory and Trevor]
Fuck with the corkscrews and shit, man.
Trevor
Fuck. Why are you always telling me what to do?
There are fuckin' bananas in the cart, dude. We don't want bananas at the wedding. No one eats bananas at the wedding.
[Meanwhile, Ricky wanders into the store to buy cigarettes and goes to the checkout line, where the cashier has their hands raised. Ricky doesn't seem to notice.]
[Ricky pulls out his pistol and fires it at Cory, sending the cashier diving for cover and triggering a shootout. Trevor fires his shotgun, while Bubbles fires his Uzi]
Holy fuckin' Jesus! What the fuck have they doing?
[Trevor continues to fire his shotgun and Cory is firing his pistol]
Put your gun down! It's us! It's us!
Stop shooting, you dicks!
What the fuck's going on here?! I just came here for smokes! What the hell's going on?!
Sorry, dude, man, we didn't know.
[to Julian] You're stupid, [to Cory and Trevor] you're stupid, [to Bubbles] you're a fuckin' idiot.
The fuckin' gun's broke! It's broken!
You could've killed me over there! The fuck?!
Ricky, shut up! [points to the surveillance camera] Ricky!
Oh, for fuck sakes! [shoots the surveillance camera]
[Outside the supermarket, the boys are frantically loading their looted groceries into their truck. Police sirens can be heard in the distance.]
Let's go, let's go! Everybody out!
Trevor
Aw shit. [picks up a bag of chips]
I'm never fuckin' speaking to you guys again.
[Cory and Trevor start putting the food in the truck]
Retarded. What's with all these fuckin' bananas?!
Trevor
I fucked up, Ricky. People like bananas.
I have to get the cart in!
Fuck off with the cart, Bubbles!
Come on! I'm not leaving this fuckin' cart!
[Ricky throws the cart away]
Get in the fuckin' truck! GET IN!
You know, I may not have done all the right stuff in my life or done smart stuff, but guys, maybe I shouldn't be commenting here, but that was pretty fuckin' dumb, alright? You're robbing a fuckin' grocery store, you didn't even tell me, I'm fuckin' on video tape now firing handguns with no mask on! You guys are FUCKIN' DUMB!
Ricky, would you calm down?
No, I'm not gonna calm down, Julian!
I'm pissed off! [points to Bubbles] I'm pissed off at you, [points to Cory and Trevor] and especially you two dicks! You guys are really fuckin' stupid!
Trevor
Sorry, man, but you were shooting at us too.
I'm drunk! I'm really drunk, and I don't need this shit!
I'm gettin' married tomorrow!
Would you shut up?! Everything's gonna be cool! Trust me!
[crying] Can everyone just please stop it?
Oh, look what--You're making Bubbles cry, Ricky! Just shut up!
I'm sorry, alright? I'm drunk.
[Cory and Trevor are putting up signs for Sam Losco]
Trevor
We're helping Sam.
Yeah, man. We're gonna get a chance to screw Lahey over.
You guys aren't doin' well in the thinking department, are ya? Sam's a caveman, and he's a dick.
And that makes you guys dicks, 'cause you're promoting him.
Trevor
He's gonna give us homemade hot dogs when we're finished putting the signs up.
Well, I'm gonna give you some homemade fuck-offs right now. Get rid of these stupid signs, you dummies.
[Ricky gives Trevor two middle fingers and throws the sign]
SSaleswoman
Hello? Hi! Excuse me? Um, I'm looking for Ricky. I have his encyclopedias.
Trinity, come with me. Daddy bought you some encyclopedias so you can get smarter and you won't be stupid like Daddy when you get older!
SSaleswoman
Well, with tax it is $4,728.33, and that is the cash price.
What? For a bunch of fucking books?
SSaleswoman
Well, if you don't have it that's fine, but I have to tell you, that's a one-time price only...
Oh no, shh, shh, shh, no, no, no...I've got lots of money, I've got the money right here. What are they, fucking printed in gold or something? Jesus Christ!
Is that all the money you got, Ricky?
Well, I got...I thought I had more than this. I could sell some stuff, Lahey. I'll have your money tomorrow. I gotta do one thing at a time here.
Well, well, well. What's it gonna be, Rick? You gonna buy the trailer? Or are you gonna kiss my bare ass right now in front of all these good people?
[Ricky looks at Trinity, then gives the money to the saleswoman]
Oh my God, he's gonna do it, dude! Holy shit, it's ass-kissing time, man! Right on!
Trevor
You deserve this, Ricky!
My God, Lucy, let's...let's get Trinity out of here right now.
Ricky, you did the right thing.
Let's fucking get this over with, Lahey.
[unbuckles his belt] It would be my pleasure, Ricky.
Pucker up, boy! [pulls his pants down]
Make it a quick one, Ricky!
[Ricky takes a big haul off of a wine bottle, gives Jim a peck on the ass]
Trevor
I can't believe he did that!
[Ricky spits]
Trevor
I can't believe he did that! That's fuckin' gross, right?
Well, I guess I won that one, Rick!
Yeah, I hope you enjoyed that, Lahey.
[Ricky is showing Cory and Trevor how to steal gasoline]
Unleaded, blue container. Supreme, red container. Diesel in the green. Okay? Are we clear here, guys?
Trevor
Yeah, but how can you tell which is the supreme?
[Trinity throws grass at Cory and slaps his arm three times]
What, are you stupid? You fucking taste it. Unleaded tastes a little tangy, supreme is kinda sour, and diesel tastes pretty good.
Will you please. For God sakes, stop it, man. Can you do somethin' about your daughter?
[Trinity slaps Cory's arm again]
Just let her hit you, Cory. Stand down and listen to me.
[Trinity slaps Cory's arm again and they fight each other]
Stop it. I'm not lettin' ya.
Are you gonna fight my daughter who's nine years old?! 'Cause you're probably gonna get hurt, okay? Boys, don't fuck this up. I am your boss. You do what I say when I say it. Or I'll report both of you to Julian and you won't be goin' on this fuckin' cruise, okay?
Come on! That's ridiculous, dude!
[Trinity pushes Cory back]
Cory, shut the fuck up, leave my daughter alone and listen to me. Go to the store, get Julian some rum, and go siphon some fuckin' gas, alright? 'Cause I gotta take Trinity to go get some patches.
Trevor
[spits gas out of his mouth] Sneeze, old man.
Man, I'm felling sick, dude.
Trevor
Then we should stop doing this.
Yeah man, but the cruise. We gotta do the cruise.
Trevor
Yeah. I guess it's not that bad.
[Cory runs away]
Trevor
Well, fuck, man!
[Trevor takes the gas containers and the security guard grabs Trevor]
Trevor
What the fuck are you doin'?!
[The security guard falls over and Trevor runs away with the gas containers]
Trevor
Fuck you!
What the fuck are you guys doing here? You following us or something?
Yeah, sorry I was following you, dude. But I have a brilliant idea, man. If we take dope and sell it at the Rush concert, we can sell it for double the price and make a ton of loot, man! It works every time. Can you hook us up?
That's a good idea, guys. I got a little bit of dope here for you.
[Ricky feigns opening the glove box, then pulls out his hand with a middle finger raised and sticks it in Cory's face]
There's no fucking dope in town, you idiots!
Trevor
Julian, you gotta be able to get some dope. We'll take the cruise money and double it up, man. We can do it!
All right, boys. Here. Get us all some Rush tickets.
[Julian gives Cory a handful of cash]
I want the change back too, boys. Don't fuck this up!
I think I can get us some dope, man.
Where the fuck are you gonna get dope?
[Ricky walks up to a cop with a drug dog in a parking garage]
How's it goin'? You guys got a package for Cory and Trevor Lahey?
[Another cop walks up and Ricky gives him money. The cop with the dog takes a big bag of pot out from under the dog's harness and hands it to Ricky.]
Fuck, I hate buying dope from cops, man. They way overcharge every time. It doesn't even feel like a pound.
Hey everybody, how you doin'? This is my friend Mr. Gun! My special guest Smith and Wesson says get your ass down and give some quarters! This is a stick up, real deal, real gun, full cooperation and no one gets done! Yeah! So listen to me, 'cause that's what I say when I rock hip uh...
Trevor
Stop fuckin' robbin', man. This is a real thing.
Down, please, miss. Down. Down. Alright, you just keep doin' what you're doin'. You're cool, that's alright. Tall boy, get down! Don't make me fuckin' get up there!
Trevor
Come on, we want your change.
Trevor
Give us your change now.
Dude, just take the fuckin' quarters!
Trevor
Please get on the ground! Aw, man. Look at these little things of detergent. [Trevor takes the detergent] We should take some of these too.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Cory Braid head. He gets him set up for the clothesline... URRRH!! [clotheslines Cory] Oh my GOD! He fuckin'... Devastating! You all right, Cory?
I don't give a fuck, actually. [body slams Cory onto the mat] Get in here, Trevor! Come on!
Trevor
Forget that, Bubbles! I'm goin' home! [Cory sneaks out of the ring and they run away]
[puts his hand up for a high-five] Aw, come on, boys! Boys!
Boys, get these trees delivered! Come on!
Hurry the fuck up, we gotta go down to the mall! Fuckin' nerds...
What the fuck are you guys doing? Huh? Grab a tree! Both of yas! One each!
You want one of these ones, er...
Just grab a fuckin' tree!
Trevor
Julian, I can't get the tree out, it's stuck!
You can't get the tree out because you're a nerd! Why is there two nerds carrying one tree?! One tree per nerd! Goddamn fuckin' nerds!
Trevor
What if we drove down midnight pass road?
No, man. If we go up this way, we stop at Mimar's Arcade right there.
What the fuck? Do one of you idiots mind telling why there's only 10 fuckin' carts left in that truck instead of 20?
Yeah, we had to move 10 off.
Oh, you moved 10 off. Did you hear that, Julian? Precious little Cory and Trevor fucked up and took 10 carts off the goddamn load!
Your order's for 10 carts, Rick. You fucked up.
What the fuck are you lookin' at, Trevor?
Trevor
Fucked up, Ricky. You know what else? You're wearing the same dirty clothes since you got out of jail. Fuck up, man.
What did you just say to me?
Trevor
I'm not gonna say "who's there", man.
You just did, you fuckin' idiot.
[Ricky rips Trevor's pants]
Trevor
Those are my new pants!
[Julian gets out of the car]
Boys! Boys! We're supposed to be workin' like a team here! You wanna be on the winning team that makes a shitload of money, or do you wanna be on the losing team that goes to jail, huh? Apologize to him!
I'm not apologizing to him.
Cory, move. Apologize to him.
I'm sorry I ripped your pants off, Trevor.
Trevor
It's alright, Ricky. Shit happens, man.
Do you want your pocket back, Trevor?
Here's some gas money. Cory, get over here. Gas money, and here's twenty for a new pair of pants.
Trevor
Thanks a lot, Julian.
Alright, no speeding. Put on your seatbelts. Don't fuck around.
Trevor
See you later, Ricky.
Ricky, you ripped his fuckin' pants right off.
I don't know what happened. I'm just so stressed out lately. I fucked up. He was fuckin' standin' up to me though. He better watch himself or he's gonna lose a fuckin' friend. I'll tell you that.
Trailer Park Boys · 180 quotes
