Zack quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Zack

24% compounded yearly means 2% compounded monthly?

Carey

Zack, you just did math in your head!

Zack

Wow! I did! You know, if they just put dollar signs in front of the numbers, math would be a whole lot easier.

Zack

[to Cody in a dream, in which Zack is a successful business tycoon, and Cody works as a janitor for him] Clean this mess up, but save the confetti. Money doesn't grow on trees.

Actually, it does. Remember, you had Zacklabs create a money tree?

Zack

Right. Come on girls, let's go talk about how I cleaned up Wall Street while Cody just cleans up.

Carey

Forget the test. Tests aren't important.

Zack

Okay. Remember that next time I bring home an "F."

Cody

[to Zack] You know, Mom's really gonna be mad when she finds out you're not graduating.

Zack

Well she can't be too mad when she finds out I saved a life.

Cody

Whose life did you save?

Zack

(tries to shove an apple into his mouth) Here, choke on this.

Zack

Except that I didn't graduate, okay!

There's a shock! (takes back his gift and steps away)

Kurt

What are you talking about?

Zack

I faked the whole thing.

Carey

I don't, I don't understand. I mean you have a diploma...(unrolls fake diploma and sees the truth) This is a picture of a girl wearing a bikini.

Kurt

(looks at it also) Uh, she's hot! I mean...it's hot...at the beach...that's why she's wearing a bikini...

Carey

Zack, why did you do this?

Zack

Because you tried to bake a cake and Dad left his tour, and I didn't want to disappoint you guys again.

Kurt

Don't sweat it, dude, it's okay. (Carey smacks him in the gut) OOF!!! I mean, you are so in trouble!

Mr. Forgess

[to Zack] We have a little problem. You seem to have failed English.

Zack

Wait, what?

Mr. Forgess

You won't be graduating with your class.

Zack

No, no, no, no, no! I need to graduate with my class! If I don't graduate, I'll have to go to su... su... su...

Mr. Forgess

...mmer school.

Zack

Yeah, that's it.

Cody

Zack, what are you doing here? This is only for the people who are graduating.

Zack

Well, I figured if I showed up a plan would just hit me. BAM! Wait a minute...wait a minute...oh, I got nothing.

Cody

Well, at least you're not trying to forge a diploma, sneak into graduation and hide from Mom the fact that you're going to summer school for six weeks.

Zack

Genius!

Cody

I was being facetious.

Zack

Huh?

Cody

(sarcastically) Hard to believe you're failing English.

Zack

There's only one problem. There's only enough caps and gowns for the students who are graduating.

Cody

(sarcastically) Gee, why don't you steal someone else's?

Zack

Again with the genius plans! No wonder they call you the vale...vale...vale-accordion!

Cody

(to Zack) Now, what you need is tell the truth and promise to do well in summer school.

Zack

You're right. Honesty is the best policy. Give me that water. (puts water on his cheeks) Mom's a sucker for a sob story. Dead puppy, dead puppy, dead puppy. OK, let's do this.

Zack

(sees Haley, a girl in his class) Hi, I'm Zack. And you are?

Shy! Painfully shy. Don't look at me! (takes a bag and puts it over her head)

Zack

Why is it so hot in here?

Carey

Because it's summer school, which you have to go to for failing the eighth grade.

Zack

Just English class. Besides, plenty of our greatest leaders failed the eighth grade.

Carey

Like who?

Zack

There was that Abe guy, with the beard and tall hat. He lived in Gettysburg and died at the movies.

Carey

And, yet, you passed History.

Zack

Word, Bird. Hey, I'm a poet and I didn't know it. I can make a rhyme anytime.

Mrs. Bird

Me, too. Did I mention you have detention.

Mrs. Bird

Zack, I don't understand. You were doing so well. What got into you?

Zack

My underwear! And I didn't want it to happen again.

Carey

(enters the classroom) Hey, Zack, let's go!

Mrs. Bird

He's not going anywhere. Zachary has detention.

Carey

Detention?!? Great, now I'm stuck here, too! (sits at a desk) Listen, young man, you had better not fail out of summer school. You're runnin' out of seasons. If you think that I am going...

Mrs. Bird

SHHH!!! No talking!

Carey

Zack?

Zack

Don't disrupt my class again or I'll give you detention!

Zack

You know, this Weather Warrior game stinks! You can't win with the lame superpowers they give you.

Bob

Not me. Captain Coldfront sneezes ice. I just snotted out half of Cityopolis!

Cody

(sees Arwin pushing something with a sign labeled "Nothing Evil Under Here) Does that sign look suspicious to you?

Zack

I don't know. It went by so fast I couldn't read it.