Moseby quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

[learning that Zack has been grounded before the bowling match] I beg you to punish Zack on a regular basis, but just when I need him the most, you get tough. You hate me, don't you?

(to Zack and Cody) I'll get both of you and your little hawk too!

Zack

So, is the evil hotel inspector gone yet?

Ilsa

No, she's right here.

Zack

Whoa! What's that on your face? [Carey covers Zack's mouth.]

It's a beauty mark!

Cody

But it has a hair on it! [Carey covers Cody's mouth.]

Carey

It's a good thing I don't have triplets! I've run out of hands.

Esteban, I want gift baskets for all these guests immediately. Oh, and some catnip for our feline friends.

Esteban

For you, anything! (He looks at Ilsa) And for you, bubkes!

Room service! Somebody ordered the "I'm sorry for what we did last night" buffet.

Carey

Eggs benedict with caviar?!

Cody

Must be a mistake.

Zack

We ordered toast and a raisin.

Carey

You guys are bleeding me dry here!

Oh! [chuckles] My mistake. This is meant for the other mommy with twins on the 23rd floor. [He leaves]

Carey

I-I'm sorry, I didn't, I mean, they...

D'I- I understand. Children sometimes can be a burden.

Carey

You have kids?

No, and after seeing yours, not gonna happen!

I helped you take your first steps across this very lobby!

London

In designer booties!

I helped you roller skate and learn to ride a bike...

London

You're in our family album more than my father or any of his ex-wives!

Zack

I'm worried about him. He's up there in the wilderness. Right now, he could be hanging from a cliff over a waterfall with a pack of wolves and a bear snapping at him.

Carey

It's math camp. The worst that could happen is that he sit on his compass.

Zack

But, mom, I'm...

Carey

Honey, I'm tellin' ya. We're probably in more danger here than he is there. [a car starting is then heard]

[to London, outside] FORWARD, NOT REVERSE! [he and London then crash into the room]

London

Daddy bought me a car to practice on. My friend Porscha is going to teach me.

Do you mean the young lady who drove her father's yacht through piers 10, 11, and 12?

London

She was putting on sunscreen.

[about Cody going to math camp] Ooh. Sounds like heaven. Your going as well?

Zack

No way! I told the teacher you couldn't pay me to spend 2 weeks with a bunch of math geeks.

Cody

Was that before or after you flunked your math test?

Zack

I'll have you know, I flunked that math test purposely just to get away from you.

Cody

Oh yeah? And who are you avoiding with your "D" in English?

Okay, first thing's first. Have you adjusted your mirrors?

London

All three of them. And I can see myself perfectly.

No no no they're not for vanity. Your rear-view mirrors are for seeing the view to your rear.

Not your behind, behind you.

London

But I won't be able to see myself having fun.

Driving a motor vehicle is not fun, it's serious business. Have you buckled your seat-belt?

London

I was going to, but this outfit just wrinkles so easily so I thought-

Just do it.

London

But my outfit-

IT'S THE LAW!

Are you familiar with the gear shift?

London

You mean the PRNDL? [PRNDL pronounced "prindle"]

The what?

London

The PRNDL.

Are you referring to the shift lever that says P-R-N-D-L?

London

I'm not a child, Moseby, I know how to spell PRNDL.

It's not something that you spell, it is a gear shift. The letters stand for Park, Reverse, Neutral, Drive, and Low!!

London

You're making me nervous with all this technical talk!

Oh! I'm sorry. Why don't we just relax and turn on the radio? Would you like AMMM or FMMM?!

London

Moseby, have you heard the good news?

Yes. One of the twins is gone for 2 weeks. It's like falling in love.

Carey

Moesby, Zack took off for math camp!

Splendid now they're both gone! It's like falling in love again!

Carey

You don't understand! London is driving.

Oh no!

Carey

Oh yeah!

They shouldn't be too hard to find! We'll just look for the car that's driving in reverse.

Carey

Isn't he the worst!? On the way up here he actually criticized my driving while HE was driving!!

Maddie

Well in all fairness to London I have to say, even though I was being held against my will - and my lawyers will be in touch - she did a pretty good job driving up here.

I suppose I have a slight tendency to be a bit critical.

Zack

Suppose?!

Maddie

Slight?!

Carey

Tendency?!

London

A bit?!

Okay! Okay! I'm sorry London.

London

It's okay Moseby. [takes her hands off the wheel to hug him]

HANDS ON THE WHEEL!!!

[to London] How bout we give it a go?

London

You got it. I'll meet you at the crack of noon.