Arwin quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Arwin

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII fixed it!

Arwin

I love group hugs, especially with other people.

Cody

I've gotta win this science award. Then I can get into M.I.T. and invent a nanobot that eats oil spills and be able to retire comfortably while taking care of my aging mother and paying my brother's bail money.

Arwin

Zack's in jail?

Cody

Not yet.

Carey

The point is it doesn't matter if you win. All that matters is you do your best.

Cody

Well, my best isn't going to win me a Nobel Prize, pay for your nursing home, or get Zack out of jail.

Carey

Zack's in jail!?

Not yet.

Zack

I'm not hungry.

Max

Me neither

Carey

What's going on?

Arwin

Isn't it obvious? [whispers] They're not hungry!

Arwin

This cake is excellent, Carey. You're a great cook.

Carey

Actually I bought it.

Arwin

You're a great buyer of cakes.

Arwin

I for one am voting for Cody.

Max

You don't go to school here.

Arwin

Oh. Well if I went to school here, I'd vote for Cody.

Arwin

(about the 24-hour bellhop) This will increase efficiency by 13.4%.

How did you arrive at that figure?

Arwin

I made it up.

Zack

Hey Arwin, what are you...

Cody

Ok, that's a little disturbing...

Arwin

I was just practicing asking your mom out, because every time I try to ask your real mom, I get lost in her big brown beautiful eyes...

Cody

Arwin!

Arwin

Yeah!

Cody

Put mom in the drawer and come play with us!

Zack

I mean, everytime we ask someone to play with us, they all say the same thing.

Arwin

I don't have time.

Zack

Yeah!

Arwin

No, no, I mean I really don't have time. See, when I'm not practicing my dating skills, I'm working on a secret project. So secret in fact, that no power on earth can make me tell you what it is.

Zack

Then we won't ask.

Arwin

Ok, ok, I'm gonna tell you! Ready? 3, 2, 1, tada! Aaaaaah! Yeah!

Cody

Wow... a pay phone...

Zack

You invented something that nobody uses anymore.

(after returning from the parallel universe and Arwin enters) ARWIN!!!

Arwin

ZACK!!! CODY!!! WHY ARE WE YELLING????!!!!

[walks over to Carey] The name's Weldon. Irv Weldon. And I like to be shaken, not stirred.

Arwin

Oh, that Weldon is as smooth as porcelain.

Zack

You're gonna be fine Arwin. The first event is in ten minutes.

Cody

Have you found a happy place to think about?

Arwin

Well, actually, at first it was me and mother on a lovely tropical cruise... Then a storm hit and the waves were huge, and then her wheelchair rolled off the side, and I yelled: "Mother, throw me the house keys!"

Zack

Okay... How about thinking about a nice cookie?

Arwin

Uh, that'll work!

Arwin

Done!

Cody

A minute, ten seconds.

Arwin

Aaargh! I'll never beat Irv. I'm such a loser. Loser, loser, loser! [hits his forehead with his hand]

Zack

You've got to be more positive. Try this: winner, winner, winner! [hits Arwin's forehead with Arwin's hand]

Arwin

No, that doesn't work so well either.

Cody

Well, I've got a great technique to keep from getting nervous. Think of a happy place and all the pressure will just melt away.

Arwin

Well, thanks, but no matter how happy the place, it'll never be me up on that winner's podium accepting the Golden Plunger and a kiss from the plunger girl...

Carey

Come on guys, time to go home.

Cody

Can't we stay a little longer mom?

Carey

I'm sorry, but I've got to get upstairs and work on this stupid song, the Tipton's hosting some kind of geek games. Moseby's making me sing at the opening ceremonies and hand out the Golden Plunger.

Arwin

You're the plo-plo-plo-plo-plo-plo- [Zack hits him in the back] plunger girl? [Carey nods] Weldon's going down.

Stop the bulldozers! I got the injunct-AAAAHHHH!

Arwin

Did you hear that? He said he got the injunct-AAAAHHHH!

(trying to touch Arwin's red button on his machine that will try to stop the hawk) What's that-

Arwin

No don't touch that! Woo. I put it there to look cool.

Arwin

I made this sling to cradle the egg and keep it at hawk temperature.

Zack

How do you take a hawk's temperature?

Arwin

Very carefully.