Esteban quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Esteban

[in a dream sequence] Attention guests of Hotel Esteban; it's salsa time! [everyone in the hotel starts dancing to salsa music]

Esteban, I want gift baskets for all these guests immediately. Oh, and some catnip for our feline friends.

Esteban

For you, anything! (He looks at Ilsa) And for you, bubkes!

Esteban

Mr. Moesby! The hotel inspector will be here any minute for the surprise inspection!

How is it a surprise inspection if they sent a fax?

Esteban

Because they sent the fax 2 weeks ago and I forgot to give to you! Surprise!

Esteban, I need you.

Esteban

When I am good and ready!

WHAT did you say?

Esteban

Now I am good and ready!

Zack

I've got to get up to that camp!

London

Oh! I can drive you!

Maddie

What?!

London

I'll show Moseby how well I can do without him! C'mon!

Maddie

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa there, big girl! You just drove through a building!

London

But there are no buildings on the highway.

Maddie

True, but there are other cars and big trucks, and the occasional cute deer! This is not a good idea.

Zack

You're not going to tell anyone are you?

Maddie

Well only if you do it.

Zack

GRAB HER!!!

London

You saw nothing!

Esteban

Okay, have fun!

Carey

Esteban, have you seen Zack? I've looked all over for him.

Esteban

Zack? Zack who? Look at the time! [tries to walk away]

Carey

Esteban, do you like nature films?

Esteban

Oh, I love nature films.

Carey

[angrily] Have you ever seen the one about what a mother bear would do to protect her cubs?!

Esteban

London is driving him up to Math Camp with Maddie and Muriel! Don't eat me!

Esteban

Now I'll never own this hotel.

Maddie

And I'll never be the President.

Cody

I'll never win the Nobel Prize.

Zack

I'll never marry Maddie.

London

On the bright side, I'm still rich. Yay, me!

This painting has been hanging in the Tipton for nearly a hundred years.

Zack

Oh good, now you can buy a new one!

Old is good.

Cody

And that's what makes you great!

Esteban

Oh, Mr. Moseby, forgive us. Back home they would tie my arms and legs to four goats and send them off in different directions... It is also what they do for the people with bad backs!

Esteban

I mean, we must help the poor, tormented ghostie cross over to a better place.

Maddie

You mean like the St. Mark Hotel, where they'll pay overtime?

Esteban

This is not a joking matter.

Maddie

Obviously you've never seen my paycheck.

Esteban

[sings] Rock-a-bye, chicken, in the tree top. Watch out for the farmer. Your head he will chop. [the children start crying]

Zack

Don't you know any lullabies that don't involve decapitating poultry?

Maddie

Great news!

Esteban

The revolution has begun in my country and they want to put my grandmama back on the throne?

Esteban

It's raining lamas and goats outside.

London

Don't you mean cats and dogs?

Esteban

[giggles] That's a silly expression. Why must all women shop so much? Uh, nine shopping bags?

London

One for every day of the week!

Maddie

I bet you also think that a woman's place is in the kitchen!

Esteban

Only after she gets back from the grocery store!

Maddie

Oh, that attitude is so typically male! I'll have you know, women are capable of doing anything!

Esteban

How about talking quietly?

Maddie

Who was the 1st President of the United States?

London

Ooh ooh. I know, I know. He chopped down a cherry tree, had icky wooden teeth. Don't tell me.

Esteban

It's George Washington.

London

No, that's not it.

London

See, this is a Ba Gua.

Esteban

(carrying several luggage bags on his back) It is also the only thing she carried.

London

It's a chart that shows how to rearrange your space to enhance different areas of your life, like good health, good fortune. Uh-oh!

Uh-oh what?

London

Uh-oh, your lobby is way out of alignment!

Esteban

(still carrying all the bags) So is my spine!

Cody

Esteban, now you have enough money to pay for your little sister's quinceañera.

Esteban

Oh, yes. And I would like to thank everyone from the heart of my bottom!

Zack

Bottom of my heart.

Esteban

That, too!