Bob quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Bob

Isn't this awesome?

It's like a little house.

Warren

It's elegant yet casual.

Bob

It's sophisticated yet tasteful.

Zack

I think it's stupid yet stupid.

Bob

Where are they going?

With any luck, the Bermuda Triangle

Zack

Cody actually has some very good ideas. I've got nothing.

Bob

What about ice cream and skate parks? (crowd agrees)

Zack

Like that'll happen. What do you guys still believe in, the Tooth Fairy?

Zack

What are you doing?

Cody

Getting ready to drill a hole.

Zack

Well, here in woodshop we tuck in our shirts before we use tools.

Cody

But this shirt is a 100% linen, if I tuck it in and take it out, it will be wrinkled.

Zack

Well, there's a 100% chance you'll be wrinkled when you get sucked into a sander. These safety rules were made for your own protection.

Cody

Oh, yeah? And who came out with them?

Bob

Nine-fingered Nick.

Zack

I wanna make fun of Cody before his date, and it's always nice to have backup.

Bob

Actually, I'm here because there is no date... Irma postponed it.

Zack

When?

Bob

When I say postponed, I mean dumped!

Zack

She dumped him? That'll crush him! We'll have to break it to him gently. [Cody walks in.] Hey, Cody! Welcome to the club!

Cody

What club?

Zack

The-Guys-Who-Aren't-Dating-Irma Club.

Bob

That's your idea of gentle?

Zack

Hey, I didn't kick him.

Cody

You're lying.

Bob

I got it directly from the source. Irma told Kim who told Phill who told Ashley who told Brenda who told Dylan who told Cole who told me... [breathes in for air] It's over.

Cody

But why? What happened?

Bob

She got back together with her camp boyfriend.

Cody

No! Not Joaquin! The one with the 12-speed bike and the puka shell necklace! This is horrible.

Zack

Ok, buddy, this was a tough break, but there are lots of fish in the sea.

Cody

[crying] I don't want a fish... I want I-i-irma!

Zack

Come on, with whiskers like those, she looks like a catfish!

Bob

Am I too late to audition? I hope...

Mr. Forgess

Hey, Bob, I'm happy to see you here. I didn't know you had an interest in Shakespeare.

Bob

I don't. My mom said it was this or oboe lessons.

Mr. Forgess

Huh, love the enthusiasm!

Cody

I'm Bottom?

Zack

That part must stink!

Cody

But that's the character who gets turned into a donkey.

Bob

A donkey named Bottom? Definitely stinks!

Cody

Oh, yeah? What part did you get?

Bob

Well, whatever it is, it's got to be better than Bottom.

Agnes

You're Puck, the fairy.

Bob

A fairy? I hate my Mom.

Mr. Forgess

Well, I think you guys really got to understand the theme of the play.

Zack

Girls stink.

Cody

Never work with your brother.

Bob

I should've gone with the oboe.

Mr. Forgess

Close enough.

Warren

This is no picnic, ma'am.

Bob

It is a tough, macho journey into the deep dark unknown.

Zack

TAXI!

Cody, didn't I tell you to tie our food and hang it from a tree?

Cody

Since you promoted me to Koala bear, I decided to delegate it to an underbear. So I told Bob to do it.

Bob

And I told Warren to do it.

Warren

And I forgot to do it.

First we need to dig a trench around our campsite.

Warren

You mean to go potty?

Bob

I think I'm just gonna hold it in.

Zack

What are you doing on the court?

Well, I decided I'd better play. Not that I want to, but I can't let you guys turn our team into a laughing stock.

Bob

Too late.

Trent

Oh, it's never too late!

Bob

Dude, you're spitting on me.

Zack

Welcome back to the team.

Cody

But who's Jamie going in for?

Zack

Well, I'll give you a hint. His number rhymes with nerdy.

Trent

You know we got a game coming up.

Bob

Relax Trent. It's only an exhibition.

Trent

My dad said you're not giving a maximum amount of effort all the time, you're a waste of human life.

Bob

Oh well he must be a lot of fun at parties.

Zack

You know, this Weather Warrior game stinks! You can't win with the lame superpowers they give you.

Bob

Not me. Captain Coldfront sneezes ice. I just snotted out half of Cityopolis!

Bob

Now that I'm in high school, I've decided to re-invent myself. I'm gonna be a jock.

Cody

(laughs) Oh, you were serious?